Akatsuki Rising
by Lord22
Summary: The Sound and the Leaf have made an Alliance against the Akatsuki, and Team Guy has been dispatched on a mission to track down Hidan and Kakazu. At the same time, Naruto, at last, begins missions as a genin and Zabuza puts his plans into motion. In the midst of this, a conspiracy is unmasked that may threaten the Leaf itself.
1. The Alliance

**Chapter One: The Alliance**

Orochimaru had hit rock bottom.

The Snake Sannin wasn't sure how or why it happened. On paper, he was in a position of power, with the Leaf and Akatsuki on a collision course. Meanwhile, he had Anko and was well on his way to destroying them both. Yes, he'd had to adjust his plans a bit, but that merely proved how valuable acquiring Anko had been.

He looked to where Anko was gazing at him with concern and some satisfaction.

Orochimaru wasn't feeling any satisfaction at all. Iruka always had been a killjoy. In the span of one speech, he'd ruined everything. Every time Orochimaru came up with some cruel game to play, he felt like that pale child sensei raised. It made him feel foolish and miserable.

This was absurd! He was Orochimaru! He did not bow before the arbitrary rules and laws of the Leaf or anyone else! He would become a god and make his own rules! Just like that, Naruto boy wanted to become Hokage! There was that self-aware embarrassment again.

He had to kill that somehow.

That miserable brat Iruka, he'd reframed it all as childish pranks that killed people. And some part of Orochimaru bought into it. Well, he'd show Iruka! He'd burn down that pathetic village and destroy the Will of Fire! Even now events he had set in motion would destroy that wretched ideology! In so doing it would invite a conflict within the Leaf that would see it weakened! And all the while the Akatsuki would be picked off one by one!

He would reign supreme! Right after, he had another drink.

"Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko, "you do know you're wasting your time, right? You might as well-"

"Quiet." snapped Orochimaru, pouring himself more liquor and drinking it.

The door opened, and a redhaired woman rushed in quickly. Or was she a girl? Did it matter, she had a Sound Headband and wore a bandanna, so she was um... what was her name?

"Lord Orochimaru, I've got a report for you." said the woman, offering him a letter.

"Yes, yes, thank you... what is your name?" asked Orochimaru.

The woman looked to Anko, then back to Orochimaru. "Tayuya, Lord Orochimaru. What the fuck is going on here?"

"Right, of course," said Orochimaru, taking another sip. "What is it?"

"I located Hidan and Kakazu and the Akatsuki, Konan," said Tayuya. "So I sent this mud clone over. Sakon is following them now, but they're too powerful for us to fight alone."

Orochimaru nodded and turned in his seat, moving aside his hood. "Very well.

"I want you to make contact with the Leaf Village. Give their bearings to them. They may remove two of the Akatsuki for us."

"Right," said Tayuya, looking at his clothes. "Lord Orochimaru..."

"What?" asked Orochimaru narrowing his eyes.

"Are you alright?" asked Tayuya.

**"GET OUT!"** roared Orochimaru, before reducing the mud clone to mud.

He looked to the pile of bottles of alcohol. He'd drunk a few. Well, a dozen. Perhaps a hundred or so. The patrons were all cowering, those that hadn't fled. Looking down, Orochimaru realized he'd worn his old Akatsuki robes. Why?

He'd been looking for something dark and covering and picked them out of his pack at random. Why had he taken them? Granted, the red clouds on black background was stylish but... forget it.

Orochimaru went back to drinking.

"Well, I have to admit, this is the last place I expected to see you again, Orochimaru." said a familiar voice.

Orochimaru looked up to see a big man with a mane of spiky white hair. He wore a red vest on a green background and walked forward. "Jiraiya. What? Have you been kicked out of every hot spring in the world? Are you now resorting to drowning yourself in alcohol?"

"I heard a rumor that you were out here, coordinating with your ninja in broad daylight," said Jiraiya, scowling right back. "You look like hell."

"Shut up." snapped Orochimaru.

"Seriously, what the hell happened?" asked Jiraiya. "Last I heard you were playing the part of an unstoppable rebel plotting the downfall of the Leaf. You pitted us against your enemies in the Akatsuki, and now you're here... what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get dead drunk," said Orochimaru flatly.

"You know you're immune to poison, don't you-" began Jiraiya.

**"IT'S THE WILL OF FIRE! YOU GET EXTRA CREDIT FOR HARD WORK!"** snarled Orochimaru.

Anko sighed. "He's been like this ever since he spoke with Iruka."

"His old student? What did he do?" asked Jiraiya. "Pull out half his soul?"

"As far as I know?" asked Anko, rubbing the back of her head. "Said some mean things."

"And it did this?" asked Jiraiya. "Did Iruka gain some kind of verbal jutsu or something?"

"He works as a schoolteacher," said Anko.

Jiraiya blinked. "Well, then I'm at a loss."

"I think Orochimaru-sensei is having a midlife crisis," said Anko.

"Shut up, you ungrateful wretch!" snarled Orochimaru. "I am Orochimaru, the Unchained! I will rise into the heavens and place my throne above the stars! Just as soon as I've had enough to drink!"

"Anko, right?" asked Jiraiya. "What are you doing here?"

"I've sort of been mind-controlled," said Anko.

"Uh-huh," said Jiraiya. "And de-aged. Is this another new experiment?"

"Not really," said Orochimaru. "I consigned about three hundred convicts to a slow wasting death to get the formula right."

Jiraiya sighed. "Orochimaru, I'm the absolute last person who should be saying this. Pull yourself together. You run the Sound Village and are supposed to be coordinating with the Leaf. Start acting like it."

"Shut up, Jiraiya!" snarled Orochimaru. "You've failed at everything you set your hand to your entire life! The chosen one you were supposed to train died in a ditch, thanks to Danzo! And the other two students took his eyes and now run the Akatsuki! Tsunade rejected your advances because you were a worthless vagabond! One with the charisma of a toad! And the only lesson you took from those is that you ought to hang out with toads more often!

"The only thing you ever accomplished was teaching a Hokage! You remember Minato, don't you? Wasn't he killed about five minutes later! And even that was a failure because you promised you'd step aside and back my claim! But you didn't! You lied, you fucking, miserable liar!

"How's that godson of yours you were supposed to take care of?!"

Jiraiya flinched, and before he could speak, Orochimaru went on. "You know he's hero-worshipping me, don't? Naruto Uzumaki thinks I'm an idol worth aspiring to because at least I have some ambition!

"I didn't take a bunch of kids under my wing, pretend to care about them, then walk out on them in the middle of a warzone!"

"The Leaf needed me-" began Jiraiya.

"Then why didn't you bring the brats with you?!" snapped Orochimaru. "You think sensei would have objected you to bringing the Rinnegan into the village? We'd have a new bloodline of Rinnegan users!

"They'd have become war heroes, and the Nine-tailed Fox would have been easily defeated!

"But, of course, you couldn't take the war orphans you'd become a second father to back to the Leaf!

"Because that would require you to take some responsibility! It's why you're the one true love of every whore in the Land of Fire, but the husband of no one!"

"Nothing you've said is anything I haven't said to myself in the mirror a thousand times, Orochimaru," said Jiraiya. "This is... truly pitiful, you know. Is there a reason he can't do this in the Sound Village."

"I... don't really want him by himself," said Anko.

"Have you considered taking him to a brothel instead?" said Jiraiya. "It might be better for his health."

"They'd just recoil when they saw the real me. Everyone does, even Tsunade..." muttered Orochimaru. "Anko, we are leaving."

"Aren't you going to pay for what you bought?" asked Jiraiya.

"No.," said Orochimaru, surprised he even asked. "I told them to supply me with as much alcohol as I wanted or I'd destroy the village and kill everyone here.

"Maybe you could pay the price.

"After all, Tsunade's cleaned up her act. And your only purpose for existence seems to be paying her gambling debts. That and writing pornography. Maybe you could pay my debts for a change."

"I don't need to take this from-" began Jiraiya.

"How long have you been looking for information on the Akatsuki?" asked Orochimaru flatly.

"...Ever since they reappeared. After Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan died," said Jiraiya. "I wanted to know who the new group was."

"Oh, that's truly impressive," said Orochimaru. "Years of searching brothels and bars, and you couldn't even figure out it was Yahiko running the scene. Do you know what I did to learn information on the Akatsuki?

"I wandered around doing mercenary work. I openly declared that I was looking for information on the Akatsuki in every town. Eventually, Yahiko and Sasori found me. I had a fight with them, fought evenly with Sasori for a bit, and then asked to join. Pain let me join, and I was introduced to the rest of them later.

"I helped them fill out the other members of their organization. I got an idea of their powers and abilities. Then, when I had the information I wanted, I tried to steal Itachi's body, and the rest is history.

"That took me less than a year! I did it on a whim!

"What have you accomplished in that time? Other than helping me keep Tsunade out of debtor's prison? Perhaps fathering any number of bastards. Then again, forget that last part. Your entire existence has been totally impotent. I don't see why your love life should be any different."

Jiraiya opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Before he could come up with any, Orochimaru walked out. He actually did feel a bit better now.

"So um, Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko, "was that um... necessary?"

"Yes," said Orochimaru, "yes, it was. And I actually feel quite splendid. It truly is the little things that can lift one out of despair."

"What was that about backing your claim?" asked Anko.

"Oh, when we were children, I promised I wouldn't get in the way of Jiraiya's infatuation," said Orochimaru. "In return, he agreed to help me become Hokage. Then he trained Minato-"

"And backed him, I remember that," said Anko.

"Yes, well," said Orochimaru, "Minato is now dead, and Jiraiya doesn't have Tsunade. And I have my own village. So I would say the universe has taken my side." He stretched and pulled off the robe. "One or two problems, but it's time to start moving forward again."

Yes, Orochimaru's motivation was a bit childish, but he could always change motives. It was playing the game which entertained him. Not winning it.

Anyway, destroying the Will of Fire was a perfectly adult goal.

Orochimaru wasn't insecure.

* * *

Naruto made his way down the street in a good mood.

He'd aced the exams yesterday and eaten out at Ichiraku Ramen to celebrate. He didn't do that as often, now that Iruka-sensei was his dad. So it was an extra special treat.

Now he was on his way to the academy. Dad had left early, as usual. He'd been going all over the place lately, even when he wasn't working. It had started when Anko had given that info...

And then Konohamaru leaped over the fence and took a stance before him. The kid was still wearing his helmet, but he didn't slip and fall on his face like last time.

"Naruto, I challenge you to a duel as your rival," said Konohamaru.

"Huh? Rival?" asked Naruto.

"You've beaten Sasuke, so now you face me! Konohamaru!" said Konohamaru. "The Grandson of the Third Hokage!"

Right, he'd been really working hard lately. "Um, I would, but I've sort of got to attend graduation."

"Huh?" said Konohamaru.

"Yeah, we're getting sorted into teams now," said Naruto. "I've got to be there on time, or I'll look pretty bad."

"Oh, well, good luck," said Konohamaru.

Naruto nodded. "Hey, no problem. I'll help you with the sexy jutsu when I've got sometime later today."

And then four familiar blurs shot past him. "Coming through!"

Naruto turned to see Team Guy, minus Guy-sensei himself, running in full gear. "Hey, Neji, Lee, Tenten, where are you going?"

Tenten turned around. "Sorry, Naruto, we can't talk."

"The Sound Village gave us a lead on the Akatsuki member that attacked you," said Neji, halting a way up. "The Hokage is sending out his ANBU black ops to go after them. We've got to go too.

"Guy-sensei is waiting for us at the gate."

"Right, okay," said Naruto. "Well, I'll be a full ninja when you get back. Believe it."

But they were already rushing off. It must have been pretty important.

"Why do you always say that anyway?" asked Konohamaru.

"Sort of a habit, I guess," said Naruto. "When I feel bad, talking helps me keep going." He hadn't thought about that kind of stuff before he starting studying with shadow clones. And he hadn't said 'Believe it' very much at all lately. "See you."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Here we have the beginnings of my second version of Akatsuki Rising. I will be reusing some parts of the original version for the first bits since much of it was perfectly serviceable. The next chapter is almost entirely reposted.

The original version set up a number of fundamental flaws that I realized wrecked the whole foundation of the story. With them in place, anything I built on top of it would fall to pieces. So I decided to do a full-on rewrite.

On a separate note, I now have a web novel you can read for free on Wattpad. It's complete and a sequel is in the work.

Just remove the paragraph breaks:

https

:

/www

.

wattpad.

com

/myworks/205785753-heaven-and-hellfire-01-the-dreaming-goddess


	2. Graduation Day

**Chapter Two: Graduation Day**

Sakura adjusted her pink hair in the mirror. Drawing up her ninja headband, she wrapped it around her head. Her red outfit was just perfect, her best one.

She looked just perfect. Sasuke was taking more of an interest in her than ever, and Ino had basically conceded. Now, if she just ended up on the same team as him, her dream was certain to come true.

"Honey," said Mom, "are you ready to go?"

"Yes, Mom," said Sakura. "I'm fine."

_"Quit treating me like a kid!"_ said Inner Sakura.

Sakura made her way out of the house and down the street. As she walked, she saw Ino walking out. The blonde girl had been using different cosmetic products lately. It was ever since she'd made friends with Naruto. Over one shoulder was her bad, and at her side was that chakra knife her cousin had given her.

"Hey, Ino," said Sakura, walking beside her.

"Hey, Sakura, how's it going?" asked Ino.

Sakura shifted, surprised. "Um..."

"What? I told you, I'm not after Sasuke anymore," said Ino. "We don't have a problem."

Sakura wasn't really sure how to handle this. Before they had become rivals, Sakura has been Ino's closest friend. But she'd been a sort of extension of her, more than an equal. Then they'd been archenemies, and now... well she wasn't sure.

"Hang on a second, we're rivals," said Sakura, looking away.

"Sure, whatever floats your boat," said Ino. "I'll bet you I can get to class before you."

"You're on, Ino-pig," said Sakura, turning back to Ino. Or rather, the mist of dust in the air where Ino had been. "How did she..." She looked up and saw Ino far ahead of her. "Get back here!"

"Eat my dust, Billboard Brow!" called back Ino.

Sakura took off after her as quickly as she could. "Hey, come back here!"

Ino had a head start and was running incredibly quickly. Even when Sakura put everything she had into catching up, she was only able to close the distance a little. By the time they arrived in class, Ino had entered the room triumphantly. She slid to an effortless halt. "I win."

Sakura came through, panting. Ino had been training with Hinata and Naruto, hadn't she? That must have done her a lot more good than Sakura'd thought. "Oh come on, I wasn't ready."

"Sure, whatever you tell yourself, Sakura," said Ino.

"Hey, Ino, how's it going!" said Naruto, sitting next to Sasuke.

It hadn't been too long ago that Sakura would be the one Naruto was saying hi to. Not that Sakura cared or anything, Naruto was an annoying troublemaker. Or, well, he hadn't pulled any pranks lately, but he was well...

"Oh, hey, Naruto," said Ino. "Hinata, you look nice. I'm glad you aren't wearing that outfit anymore."

Typical.

Sakura looked to where Hinata was wearing a black outfit. Rather than her usual cold weather jacket. Ino had gotten her claws into her. "Well, you insisted so much, I figured I must have been doing something wrong.

"Thank you."

_'Seriously?!'_ said Inner Sakura. _'Show some damn backbone!'_

"That is so typical, Ino," said Sakura.

"What?" asked Ino, glancing back.

Sakura paused and then decided to drop it. She'd only just sort of patched things up with her and didn't want to reopen old wounds. "Nevermind."

She made her way down to Sasuke, shoving past Naruto quickly. "Hey, Sasuke, would you like to eat lunch with me?"

Sasuke looked up. "Sure, why not."

"Really?" said Sakura, this was everything she'd ever wanted.

"Um, Sakura..." said Naruto.

Sakura turned around and suddenly became aware of every girl in the class, glaring at her. Everyone except Ino and Hinata, that was. Many of them had already been moving forward to ask Sasuke the same question. A question he never said yes to.

Sasuke had never expressed an interest in anyone, but Sakura had gotten to know him.

"Um, what..." said Sakura.

Why were they looking at her like that! It was Sasuke's choice!

"Probably shouldn't have asked that in public, Sakura," said Ino.

At that moment, Iruka-sensei entered the room, wearing his best green jacket. "Quiet, everyone, sit down, please."

Sakura took her place, grateful that nobody was glaring at her anymore. Well, some were, but only in glances. Iruka-sensei took his place. "Everyone here has successfully graduated from the Ninja Academy. All of you are now genin, the lowest rank of ninja. But don't think that the hard part is over, it only gets more difficult from here.

"Now, each of you will be sorted into squads of three. Each squad will then meet their jonin instructor."

"Come on, Ino and Hinata, Ino and Hinata..." said Naruto.

Once again, Naruto should have been wanting Sakura to be on his team. He'd always been asking her out and smiling at her. No matter how many times she brushed him off. Sasuke was silent, as usual.

"Squad 7." said Iruka-sensei. "Naruto Uzumaki."

"Yes!" said Naruto.

Why was he cheering? The idiot didn't even know who else was on his squad, yet.

"Sakura Haruno!" said Iruka-sensei.

"Well, I guess that's good," said Naruto, vaguely disappointed.

Since when was Sakura his second choice?!

"Sasuke Uchiha," said Iruka-sensei.

"Yes!" said Sakura.

"I'm doomed," said Naruto.

"Great," said Sasuke.

"Oh, come on!" said Naruto. "Dad, why do I have to hang out with Sasuke and Sakura?"

"Yeah, like you have a dad." said someone.

Naruto turned to look them in the eye, and they withered. "You want to say that to my face, jerk?"

That's right, Naruto had gotten lucky in a fight with Sasuke and pulled off a win. It had probably taken a lot of skill to do it, though. So that still made him better than most. He might have even been in Sasuke's league if he'd only payed attention from the beginning.

"Quiet! We'll talk about it later, Naruto," said Iruka. "Team 8, Hinata Hyuga, Kiba Inaba, Shino Abarame."

"Oh, I won't be with Naruto," said Hinata, out loud.

"I'll never understand why you girls are so obsessed with who we get picked with," said Shikamaru, lounging in his seat. "This is such a drag."

"Oh come on, Shikamaru, show some ambition," said Ino. "All you ever want to do is sleep. I hope I don't get paired with you."

"Team 10, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi." said Iruka-sensei.

"Oh, come on!" said Ino.

"Well, false hope does lead to disappointment as they say," said Shikamaru.

"I'm just happy to be here," said Choji, between munching chips.

"Just shut up," said Ino.

"Dad, why am I getting sorted with these two?" asked Naruto.

Iruka-sensei sighed. "The teams were chosen for abilities that balance each other out. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Hinata, Kiba, and Shino are suited to tracking, for instance. The Ino-Shika-Cho grouping has abilities that enhance one another. It makes them ideal for capture missions."

"Hang on a second, we're supposed to be covering each other's weaknesses?" asked Naruto. "But Sasuke was the strongest kid in the class until a few weeks ago. And I totally beat him last time we fought.

"So, how do we cover for each other?"

"I guess Sakura's so pathetic she needs both Naruto and Sasuke to cover for her." said a girl.

Laughter broke out across the class from some of the others. Sakura looked around. What had she done?

"That's enough, all of you!" snapped Iruka. "Your Jonin-sensei will enter now."

Sakura sat back in her seat as a number of instructors entered. Naruto waved to beautiful brown-haired women with red eyes. "Hey, Kurenai-sensei, how are you?" Since did he know the jonin instructors.

Kurenai looked up. "As well as can be expected, Naruto," said Kurenai. Then she quickly approached Hinata. "Hinata, I'll be your jonin. And you must be Kiba and Shino?"

"I am Shino, yes." said the spectacled Abarame.

"Yeah, that's me," said Kiba. "How do you know Naruto?

Kurenai smiled. "He's Hinata's friend, and I've met him several times. We had lunch together."

Dead silent. Hinata blushed.

"Um, seriously?" asked Kiba.

Kurenai-sensei obviously realized how that sounded. "I mean to say that he bought lunch for myself and a friend of mine." A blush spread across her features as she dug herself deeper. "That is, she talked me into going into eating lunch with her and him.

"It isn't-

"She wanted to talk about teams of four with Hinata, Ino, and..." Kurenai lost the capacity to speak.

A short-haired, tan-skinned man with a beard sighed. "This is one of those context things, isn't it?"

"YES! Yes, it is!" said Kurenai in embarrassment. Then she sighed. "Maybe we should just start over?"

"That's... probably smart," said Kiba, glancing at Naruto in awe.

"Why don't we get out of the room?" asked Kurenai before glancing at the man who'd spoken. "Asuma, save me."

"Right, sure, Kurenai," said Asuma, moving up the stairs to Ino. "Smooth, kid." He looked to Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji. "So you're the new Ino-Shika-Cho trio, huh?"

"Yeah, that's us," said Ino.

"This is such a drag," said Shikamaru.

"Ah man, I ran out of snacks," said Choji, looking at his bag of chips. "You guys want to go out for barbeque?"

"Can't you think of anything but eating?" asked Ino.

"Hey, a ninja has to keep their strength up," said Choji. "And there are so many different kinds of food in the world. I have to work overtime to try them all."

"Why don't we take this outside?" said Asuma, now that Kurenai had fled with her team.

And out they went. One by one, the jonin took their teams until Team 7 was alone. And there was no Jonin to take them,

"...Where's our sensei, Dad?" asked Naruto. "Is it you?"

"What?" asked Iruka. "No, I'm not a jonin. He was supposed to be here.

This is so typical.

"Hang on, I'll see what's going on."

And he left.

What had happened back then?

Why was everyone laughing at her? Before, they had always laughed at Naruto for having the lowest marks in class. Logically they should have laughed at Shikamaru next, but he'd gone and blazed up to near the top recently. But why Sakura?

I mean, her taijutsu was good. Her ninjutsu was okay. She didn't have any special bloodlines, but she had excellent knowledge of theory. So why would they start mocking her? Was it because Sasuke had expressed an interest in her?

"You okay, Sakura?" asked Naruto.

"I'm fine!" snapped Sakura on reflex. "You're annoying, Naruto!"

Naruto looked at her for a moment. Finally, he sat back in his seat and shrugged. "Fine, if you want."

And they waited.

Sasuke said nothing, glaring at Naruto. Naruto was silent, looking all around, annoyed. Sakura didn't know what to say.

She almost wished Naruto would start planning a prank or something. But he'd put that behind him, so now what? Sakura felt really out of place here.

"Where is he?" asked Sakura to break the silence. "He should be here by now."

"How am I supposed to know?" asked Sasuke.

"Man, I bet Neji never had to put up with anything like this," said Naruto.

"You mean that Hyuga, you've been hanging out with?" asked Sakura.

"Yeah, Neji is kind of like my best friend," said Naruto. "I ran into him when he was having a medical issue, and helped him get to his team. But he's all better now and probably going on all kinds of cool missions right now!

"He's got this super powerful Byakugan that lets him see through other people's eyes. But if he uses it too much, it goes haywire, and he can't stop seeing visions."

"Some powerup if you can't even use it." scoffed Sasuke.

"Hey, at least it's not some cheat like the Sharingan," said Naruto.

Sasuke froze up. "Cheat?"

"Yeah," said Naruto. "Basically, the Sharingan gives you the power to steal other people's techniques. Only you don't have to do any of the work for yourself. It's the jutsu equivalent of copying off someone else's homework."

"You want to say that to my face?" said Sasuke, narrowing his eyes.

"Why not?" asked Naruto. "I already punched it in once."

And that was how the fight started.

Before Sakura knew what was going on, Naruto and Sasuke were in a tangle of limbs. They were rolling around on the floor, beating each other senseless.

"Wait, wait, you can't spar in here, this is the training room!" said Sakura.

And then the door opened, and their sensei entered.

Sakura looked up in mortification as the masked man with white hair surveyed the scene. Naruto had his hands over Sasuke's eyes, while Sasuke had one knee on his chest. She was doomed. "Um, sensei, I'm sorry about this um, Naruto he provoked Sasuke, and they started fighting. I tried to stop them, but um..."

Naruto looked up. "Oh, hey, Kakashi-sensei. I didn't know you were going to be our sensei. Let me just-" Sasuke kicked him in the face. "-shut-" Naruto kneed him in the groin. Sasuke yelled out, before kicking Naruto back. But Naruto turned in midair to make a perfect landing. "-Sasuke, up."

Kakashi looked around. "...This is not looking good.

"Why don't we head somewhere else?"

They were so dead.

* * *

And that was how Sakura and a very bruised Sasuke and Naruto moved onto a terrace. They sat in front of Kakashi-sensei on some steps. Kakashi sat down on the railing and looked at them. "Alright, why don't you tell me a little about yourselves. One at a time."

"Introduce ourselves?" asked Naruto, whose bruises didn't seem as bad. "Well, what are we supposed to say?"

"Things you like. Things you hate," said Kakashi. "Dreams for the future. Hobbies. Things like that."

"Why don't you go first so we can see how it's supposed to work," said Naruto.

"Me?" asked Kakashi. "I'm Kakashi Hatake. Things I like and things I hate? I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future? Never really thought about it. As for my hobbies? I have lots of hobbies."

"That was totally useless, all he really told us was his name," noted Sakura, looking to Naruto.

"Okay, your turn," said Kakashi. "You on the right."

Naruto sighed, his bruises almost gone. What was going on? "I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I like my friends, Ino, Neji, Hinata, Tenten and Lee. My hobby is trying different kinds of ramen and comparing them. My dream is to become the greatest Hokage ever, like my Father the Fourth and-"

"Wait, what?" said Sasuke.

"Naruto, you shouldn't go around telling lies like that," said Sakura.

"It's not a lie!" snapped Naruto. "Iruka-sensei got some data on it from a friend of mine, and he confirmed it with research, so there! I did a blood test, and it matched up!"

"Alright, next. You on the left," said Kakashi.

"I'm Sakura Haruno, what I like is..." said Sakura, looking to Sasuke. "I mean the person I like is... my hobby is... my dream is..." She imagined a huge wedding and Ino as her bridesmaid, and she'd get to live in a huge house.

But then she had the mental picture of Naruto crashing the wedding with some stupid stunt. Then he started asking questions that ruined the image.

"And what do you hate?" asked Kakashi.

"Naruto!" said Sakura before she could stop herself.

Naruto didn't react at all. He looked at her strangely. "What did I ever do to you?"

"Huh?" asked Sakura.

"All I've ever tried to do is try to be nice to you, and you just treat me like dirt," said Naruto.

Sakura looked for an answer. "Well... you're always pulling stupid pranks!"

"I haven't pulled any pranks in months! What gives you the right to-" began Naruto.

"Settle down, both of you," said Kakashi. "What about you?"

Sasuke looked up. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things. And I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream. Because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan and destroy a certain someone."

Naruto sighed. "...Do I have to be on a team with these jerks? I mean, can I go back to the academy? Graduate a year late? Or maybe team up with Yakumo after she aces her test?"

Well that was a bit "We'll talk about that after our first mission." said Kakashi.

"Great, so what is it?" said Sasuke.

"It's a task that the four of us will do together," said Kakashi. "A survival exercise."

"I thought we were supposed to have a real mission, not more practice," said Sakura. "We already did this stuff at the academy. That's how we got here."

"This is not like your previous training," said Kakashi.

"What do you mean?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi started laughing suddenly.

"What's so funny, that's a normal question?" asked Sakura.

"Well, if I tell you the answer, you're not going to like it," said Kakashi. "Of the twenty-seven graduates who just came here, only nine will be accepted as genin. The others will be sent back to the academy. In other words, this is a make it or break it pass or fail test. And the chance that you'll break it is at least sixty-six percent."

Sakura stopped. Could she end up separated from Sasuke? And even Sasuke looked worried. But Naruto just looked curious. "Then what was the graduation test for?" Naruto asked.

"Oh, that?" asked Kakashi. "That was to select candidates who might become genin. Or not. That's it. I decide whether you pass or fail.

"Be at the designated training area at five AM. And bring your ninja gear."

"Wait, so if Sasuke and Sakura both wash out, I can be on a team by myself?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi blinked, obviously surprised by the question. "...Theoretically speaking, that's correct.

"That's it. You're dismissed.

"Oh, and tomorrow you'd better skip breakfast or else, you'll puke."

This was just great.

Sakura had to be one of the ones to pass! She just had to! Ino would never let her live it down if she failed!

* * *

Kakashi sat across the table from the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, thinking.

He'd been surprised at his new team. Surprised at how much they hated each other. Surprised that Naruto had figured out his heritage, even though it was sealed. Most of all, he'd been amazed at just how quickly the team had come apart at the seams.

This was record time.

"So, Kakashi, what are your thoughts?" asked the Hokage.

Kakashi ran the numbers. "...There is no possible way they are going to make this."

"You've never said that before. Is this a new official policy?" asked Sarutobi in amusement.

"No, just the truth," said Kakashi. "All the other teams I failed got sent back because they failed to cooperate. The bell test weeded them out.

"But this iteration of Team 7 is a disaster waiting to happen.

"Naruto and Sasuke despise one another. Sakura is an unrequited fangirl of Sasuke. She ended up burning her bridges with Naruto before we finished introducing ourselves.

"Naruto actually asked if he could go back to the academy.

"I know I shouldn't complain, given that I requested him as a student. But I'm beginning to think this team setup was a bad idea. It makes my relationship with Obito appear smooth by comparison."

Sarutobi sighed. "Unfortunately, the political climate doesn't allow for any other option.

"A great many people are paranoid about Naruto, believing him to be the Nine-tailed fox. As such, most of the other clan leaders don't want him on a team with their children. Sasuke Uchiha, on the other hand, doesn't have any family to intercede. So there is no objection to them teaming up.

"There are also more pragmatic reasons.

"The Uchiha Clan was well-documented in its ability to control tailed beasts. If Naruto should be overcome by the Nine-tails, Sasuke Uchiha is one of three people in the village that could control him."

"One of them is Tenzo, I know that much," said Kakashi. "If he's still going by that name. Who's the third?"

"Naruto himself," said Sarutobi. "And I have absolute faith that Naruto will be able to do just that. But Homura and Koharu think otherwise, and many clan leaders agree with them. I do not see the harm in having some extra insurance, in any case.

"Thus, Sasuke and Naruto."

"And what about Sakura? How does she fit into this?" asked Kakashi.

The Third Hokage sighed. "Sakura Haruno, to be honest, is largely there as a placeholder. She has extensive knowledge of theoretical subjects. But that was the only area she excelled at. This, combined with her lack of a kekkei genki means that there is no particular place she fits in.

"Her parents also have no objection to her being on a team with him. They weren't present for the Nine-tailed Fox's attack.

"I had made the decision to put her with Naruto because he wanted to make a bond with her.

"Obviously, the situation has changed."

Kakashi stared at him incredulously. "Wait, so even if I send them back to the academy, Naruto and Sasuke are going to end up on the same team again?"

"That is an unfortunate possibility," said Sarutobi. "The alternative is to put Naruto on a group with Tenzo. Tsunade has recently given him her necklace.

"I'm afraid you must train Sasuke, however. You are the only one with a Sharingan.

"If you want to be Naruto Uzumaki's sensei, I recommend you find a way to pass them."

Kakashi sighed. "...Well, I'm going to have to get creative then, aren't I?"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This chapter is almost entirely a repost. I felt the thing worked fine as it was, and the chapter was getting too long as things stood anyway.


	3. Team-Clenched Teamwork

**Chapter Three: Teeth-Clenched Teamwork**

Naruto got up early the next day and quickly got dressed in orange.

Kin had suggested he wear something else, but Naruto liked orange. It was sort of his identity, and if he didn't wear orange, he'd be giving up something of that. He liked being seen so others couldn't deny who he was.

At first, it had been to get a reaction. Any reaction. Then it was a habit. Now it was part of who he was, and he wasn't going to give it up on a whim.

Dad was at a table, writing. There were bags under his eyes, and his hand was shaking. "Hey, Dad, I'm just about to head out."

For a moment, Dad didn't reply, then he shook. "Right, sure. Sorry, I've been running some numbers."

"What kind of numbers?" asked Naruto.

"Well, see, uh," Iruka paused, "in that report, Anko gave you there were some details. They made me realize that there were dozens of Sharingan's at the Uchiha District. When... well when the massacre happened, they were still in the bodies, at least according to Sasuke.

"I've been looking into it."

"Well, what's so important about the eyes?" asked Naruto.

"Oh come on," said Iruka, "you studied medical ninjutsu. It's possible to remove an eye and give it to another surgically. The Sharingan is incredibly powerful. And it's technically Sasuke's property now that he's the last.

"So if they all disappeared without an explanation, that's a big deal. Ordinarily, I'd leave this to the Uchiha Clan, but Sasuke is a kid. He isn't qualified to pull off this kind of investigation.

"I get the feeling someone is taking advantage of him."

Why did everything have to revolve around Sasuke? Whatever Naruto needed coffee. Then he got his stuff and stopped by the door.

"You'd better get a move on Naruto, you don't want to be late for your first mission," said Iruka.

"Any tips?" asked Naruto.

"Oh come on, you know I'm not allowed to spoil that," said Iruka, laughing. "The ninja world runs on secrets."

"Fine, fine, I got you," said Naruto. Then he sighed.

"Something wrong?" asked Iruka.

"It's Sasuke and Sakura," said Naruto. "I don't think this new team is gonna work out at all."

"I'm sure everybody thinks that way at first, Naruto," said Iruka. "I did. And my team... well, um, my sensei became the most feared rogue ninja in history. Anko ended up getting ensnared by him, while Guy never was the same after it all.

"But we're the exception."

"That's really not helping, Dad," said Naruto.

Iruka laughed. "Just try to make it work, Naruto. Trust me, you may think going back to the academy is preferable, but I think it would be a waste of your skills.

"You've got what it takes.

"Just do your best."

Naruto nodded. "Right, thanks, Iruka-sensei! See you, Dad."

"One more thing," said Iruka, heading to the fridge. He drew out some sandwiches and tossed them to Naruto. "If I know Kakashi, he'll be hours late. So you might as well eat breakfast while you're sitting around."

"But he told us not to," said Naruto.

"Think of it as a way to pay him back for wasting all our time," said Iruka.

Naruto nodded and hurried off. As he did, he drew out one of the sandwiches and munched on it. The light hadn't come into the sky just yet, so he was walking in the dark. Even so, the sandwich was good. Kakashi-sensei had us get up this early?

But why would he be late?

Oddly enough, when he arrived, Naruto found Yakumo in the center of the field beneath the waning light. The redhaired girl was painting on a canvass and looked to be doing very well and dressed in a violet skirt. There was Sasuke and Sakura coming along.

"...Yakumo, what are you doing out here?" asked Naruto, secretly pleased.

"Yeah, this is a training ground set aside for Team 7," said Sasuke. "You can't just walk in here."

"I am training," said Yakumo.

"Listen, I'm not sure what you're training for, but this is for ninja," said Sakura. "Not painting. So quit wasting our time and..." She stepped back as thorns began to grow up in front of her. "What the-"

"Hey, hey, Yakumo, don't do that?" said Naruto, grabbing her hand. She'd been painting the vines.

She looked up and looked at him with wide eyes like she'd just gotten out of a trance. "Naruto?

"Why are you casting genjutsu on my... um..." Naruto looked for the right word, "teammates. And why the painting?"

"Kurenai-sensei wants me to practice by painting," said Yakumo.

"But I thought you were told to take a few weeks off," said Naruto. "Don't you think you should be having fun or something?"

Yakumo paused. "I enjoy painting. And I can practice my genjutsu while I do it."

"Okay, that's great, but um, Kakashi-sensei is supposed to be here any minute now," said Naruto. "And he's probably going to want this place for our team.

"So, do you think you could paint somewhere else?"

Yakumo nodded. "...Alright, then."

Finishing up, Yakumo packed up and left.

"Who was she?" asked Sasuke.

"Sort of a genjutsu master," said Naruto. "But she couldn't pass the taijutsu or ninjutsu test, so she ended up trying to focus purely on genjutsu."

"How do you know so much about all this, Naruto?" asked Sakura.

"Maybe if you paid attention, you would too," said Naruto.

"What was that?!" said Sakura, swinging a fist at him.

Naruto moved aside with a small movement and caught the fist in one hand. Sakura stared as he looked at her. "What?"

"Don't do that again," said Naruto. "I'm not kidding."

And so they began to wait.

And wait.

As they did, Naruto considered giving the sandwiches to them. Sakura trying to hit him, like always, had put him in a bad mood. On the other hand, Kakashi-sensei was nowhere to be seen, just like Iruka-sensei had said.

"So," said Naruto, "do you guys want some sandwiches?"

"What?" said Sakura.

"Well, Iruka-sensei made them for us," said Naruto. "He said Kakashi-sensei would be late, so we might as well eat breakfast."

"Quit lying, Naruto!" snapped Sakura. "We're supposed to follow the rules!"

"He wouldn't have given us the order without reason," said Sasuke.

Oh right, of course, Naruto was lying. Because a possible universe where Naruto wasn't dead was not one, they wanted to accept. Well, he didn't see any reason to press them. He had a fast metabolism, so he ate the sandwiches himself.

Sure enough, hours passed, and Kakashi didn't arrive. Naruto got some satisfaction from that as he waited. He almost started a conversation, but he cut himself off. What exactly was he supposed to talk to them about?

"So," said Naruto, "have either of you learned any moves in the training ground."

Sasuke said nothing.

"Why would we tell you?" asked Sakura. "It's none of your business what moves we learn."

A pretty standard reaction there. Naruto didn't say anything at all, just waited. And waited.

Soon the sun was high in the sky, and Kakashi-sensei still wasn't there. By this time, Naruto was becoming more than a little angry and had begun to pace back and forth. Sakura and Sasuke weren't willing to give him the time of day. And Kakashi-sensei had been a no show for nearly five hours.

And then, at ten o'clock in the morning, Kakashi appeared suddenly. "Morning, everyone. Ready for your first day?"

"Hey, you're late!" said Sakura and Naruto at once.

"Well, a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way," said Kakashi-sensei. "Let's get started." He drew out a timer and set it down on a stump, before beginning it. "Here we go. It's set for noon. Your assignment is very simple. You just have to take these bells from me." He raised two bells. "That's all there is to it. If you can't get them by noon, you'll go without lunch. You'll be tied to those posts, and you'll watch while I eat my lunch in front of you."

Sakura and Sasuke looked displeased by this. "That's why you told us not to eat breakfast."

"Jokes on you," said Naruto. "I ate five hours ago."

"Well, that's your choice," said Kakashi.

"Wait a minute, why are there only two bells?" asked Sakura.

"Well, that way, one of you will end up tied to a post and disqualified," said Kakashi. "That one goes back to the academy."

"So what if one person gets two bells?" asked Naruto, having an idea.

"Hmm?" said Kakashi. "I suppose you could give the extra to a team member of your choosing."

"Okay, so what if someone were to get their hands on both bells," said Naruto. "And then one of those bells got lost or destroyed so they only had one for themselves?"

"That's an awfully specific question, Naruto," said Kakashi.

"I was just wondering," said Naruto. He wasn't so sick of his teammates that he was willing to admit he meant to see them disqualified openly.

"In that case, I suppose you'd have two people tied to a post when I made my judgment," said Kakashi. "But I wouldn't get ahead of yourself. All three of you could flunk out, too.

"You can use any weapons, including shuriken. If you're not prepared to kill me, you won't be able to take the bells."

"But those weapons are too dangerous, sensei," said Sakura.

"Yeah, I've got some pretty destructive jutsu. You sure about this, sensei?" asked Naruto.

"Class clowns are usually the weakest of the bunch," said Kakashi. "Losers who drag down the others."

Naruto went still. He was trying to provoke a reaction, wasn't he? "What did you say?"

"When I say start, we can begin," said Kakashi, raising the bells. "Get ready... and... start!"

Sakura and Sasuke rushed off. Naruto didn't bother, he was pissed and angry, and if he got the bells ahead of time, he could get this over with. He made hand signs quickly. "Shadow clone jutsu!"

Two shadow clones appeared around him.

Naruto surged forward ahead of them, drawing out a kunai and stabbing at Kakashi. Even as he did, however, his hand was grabbed, and the clones were destroyed. "Well, I suppose starting off the bat with a full-frontal assault isn't bad..." began Kakashi. "Wait."

Naruto smiled. "Naruto Uzumaki medical striker!"

Kakashi collapsed to one knee, and Naruto turned around to kick him in the face. Even as he did, however, Kakashi vanished to be revealed to be a log. Looking up, Naruto saw Kakashi reading against the side of a tree. He glanced up. "Hmm, you combined medical ninjutsu with your shadow clones to try to weaken me. But you shouldn't have assumed that I was there at all."

"What the... why are you reading?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi looked up. "Oh, this? Don't worry? With your weak attacks, it doesn't really matter if I'm reading or not."

Then Kakashi was gone. Before Naruto could move, he glanced back to see Kakashi-sensei coming at him from behind. Naruto felt and impact and went spinning backward to land inside a nearby pond. As he sank into it, Naruto realized he was going to have to come up with a new strategy.

* * *

Naruto floated within the water, using his chakra to filter out the water as he breathed.

Kakashi-sensei was way stronger than him. Memories came to him of that guy with the scythe, he'd been stronger and faster than everyone. Naruto hadn't been able to take him out on his own, he hadn't even tried. That's why he'd worked with the others to survive.

Any one of them would have been killed, but together they'd had a chance.

Maybe that was the point of all this.

Whether it was or not, Naruto needed an ally for this. So quickly he slipped out of the water and sprinted around the clearing where Kakashi was.

Time to make a new strategy.

Taking cover, he found Sasuke, kneeling, about to make his move with kunai. "Wait, wait, wait," said Naruto, "that'll never work."

Sasuke halted. "What do you mean?"

"Look," said Naruto, "Kakashi-sensei is way stronger than all of us. So there is no way we'll be able to all get the bells. So why don't we team up and try to get them together? That way at least two of us will pass."

Sasuke halted. "Fine. Alright, we'll go after him together. Sakura."

Sakura emerged from the trees. Had she been hiding there? He hadn't even noticed. "Yeah?"

"Naruto is going to make a distraction," said Sasuke. "When he does, I'll try to get the two bells that are there. I want you to make a run for it at the same time.

"If I fail, you might be able to take Kakashi-sensei off-guard."

"Right," said Sakura.

"Having fun yet?" asked Kakashi-sensei, landing in front of them.

Naruto instantly created three other shadow clones with a lot more chakra and charged at him. Kakashi moved and weaved beyond his attacks, destroying two of them quickly. Suddenly, Sasuke surged out of nowhere and attacked. Kakashi blocked a flurry of strikes from both Sasuke and Naruto. As they did, Naruto reached for the bells as Sasuke did, and their hands ran into each other. The bells were drawn out of reach.

Then Kakashi knocked them back with both hands. Naruto hit a tree as Sasuke landed in a crouch. Kakashi sighed and raised the bells. "Good effort. But it looks like-"

And then Sakura surged overhead, holding the bells in one hand. She landed on the ground. "I got them!"

Kakashi looked up in disinterest. "So you did."

Sakura quickly ran over to Sasuke and handed a bell to him. "Here, come on, Sasuke, we're both graduating."

Of course.

Naruto had known his only chance of making it was to get the bells for himself. Sasuke would pick Sakura because he actually liked her. Sakura would never give him the time of day in any circumstances so of course, she'd pick Sasuke.

"Well, that settles that, doesn't it," said Kakashi. "You all pass."

"What?" said Sakura. "But um, you said that only two of us could pass."

"I lied," said Kakashi. "This was a test to see if you could overcome the odds. Alone, none of you stood a chance of getting the bells. But if you were to work together, well, you might just manage it."

"But then why tell us only two could pass?" asked Sakura.

"I like to include a little bit of division in my tests," said Kakashi. "The whole point of this was to see if you could put your personal interests aside and work for the group as a whole." He paused. "In any case, who's up for lunch? All three of you will officially become genin."

Sakura was cheering, Sasuke was looking pleased. Naruto felt nothing, oddly enough. He ate in silence as Sakura talked with Sasuke. He had passed, he was a genin.

The thing was, he'd passed because the group as a whole passed. The rest of the group would have sold him out in a heartbeat.

Naruto would have been fine if there had been some hesitation on Sakura's part. Maybe an apology or something. But there was nothing, just an instant choice of Sasuke without any consideration.

He was going to have to work with these people every day, wasn't he?

"Are you alright?" asked Kakashi. "You've hardly touched your lunch?"

Naruto looked up. "I'm fine. Is the exercise over?"

"Well yes," said Kakashi, looking at him in surprise.

"Can I go home?" asked Naruto.

"If you want, yes," said Kakashi.

"Good," said Naruto. "Thank you for the training."

Then he put his hands in his pockets and bowed. From there he walked off. Of all the possible people he could have been teamed up with, why the only two who would never accept him?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Okay, here we have the altered chapter for the Bell Test. My original version was written when I was in a manic state and I wasn't thinking clearly. It involved Naruto forgetting his previous character development and acting completely OOC. All for something that would work best in a comedy fic.

Hopefully, this version is better.

I more or less concluded that the situation with Hidan would have been a reality check for them. So they would be willing to cooperate.


	4. A Tiger in the Woods

**Chapter Four: A Tiger in the Woods**

It was kind of weird.

Naruto had wanted to be a real ninja for years and now he felt nothing. That was why he was still lying in bed when he knew he should have been up and pacing. Eventually, Iruka-sensei opened the door and looked in. "Naruto, you'd better get up. You've got a mission."

Naruto sat up, feeling miserable about the fact. Yeah, he was doing ninja missions. But he'd have to do them with Sasuke and Sakura. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Why the long face?" asked Iruka.

Naruto sighed. "I hate my team."

Iruka raised an eyebrow. "That's a little harsh, you've only just joined them."

"Yeah, I know," said Naruto.

Iruka sighed. "Look, I know Sakura gave the bell to Sasuke. But you still all cooperated to get it. I'm sure if you work at it things can work at."

"Fine, Dad," said Naruto, not feeling it. "I'll try to make things work." Of course, that was what they had been doing all this time.

So Naruto got dressed, quickly had a bite to eat and headed out.

He didn't see Hinata or Ino or any of the others on the way. Yakumo had been going further and further afield for her paintings anyway. Eventually, he got to the meeting place, a bridge leading over a small stream. Sasuke was leaning against the railing, probably trying to look cool or something. Sakura was just looking at him, and then she looked to Naruto.

"Naruto, you're late," said Sakura, scowling. "What is Sensei had already been here? The whole team could have been delayed."

Naruto could have flared up, but he was supposed to be nice. "Sorry. Where is Kakashi-sensei?"

"Late," said Sasuke, scowling.

"Again, huh?" asked Naruto leaning up and trying to start a conversation. No one took the bait, so he shifted from foot to foot and put on that old smile. The one he wore when he wanted people to notice him and to hide that he felt bad. He hadn't worn it in a while, had he? "What do you think has him delayed, anyway?"

No one said anything.

Naruto wished he was the shadow clone he'd sent to study the public records. He got to hang out with Shiho all day, and she was fairly nice. Naruto remembered as much, even though he'd never actually been in the same room with her. Brown, messy hair, glasses, sort of nervous.

Why did he feel closer to her than these two?

"It's probably something important," said Sakura. For a moment Naruto hoped he was getting through. "Why do you have to question him, Naruto? He wouldn't leave us out here without a reason."

"Well…" began Naruto.

"Nevermind," said Sakura.

So the conversation ended again. Why the hell was Naruto even here? Oh right, because some paper pusher had decided he ought to be with them. He put his hands in his pockets and scowled.

No, no, he'd promised Dad he'd make an effort. That's what he'd do. "So, does anyone feel like um, going to Ichiraku Ramen later today? I mean, I figure we can split the difference."

"No thanks," said Sasuke instantly.

"I, um, I don't really eat that kind of food. I'm on a diet," said Sakura.

"Oh," said Naruto, not feeling disappointed at all. "Okay."

Naruto wanted to pace, but he was trying to fit in and Sakura would get annoyed with him. So he just stood there, watching Sasuke brood. Sakura looked at him nervously, and then away.

"Where the hell is he?!" snapped Naruto.

"Calm down, Naruto. Whining about this isn't going to help," said Sakura.

"Whining?!" said Naruto. "I…" No, don't flare-up. Don't blow this. "Nevermind. Whatever."

Finally, Kakashi landed on the gates of the bridge and looked down at them. "Sorry I'm late, I got lost on the road of life."

"Yeah right!" said Sakura.

Naruto said nothing. He just looked at her. After all that about whining she was the one complaining about this? Sakura shifted. "…What?"

Naruto looked down. "Nothing."

Kakashi landed and walked forward. "In any case, you're all qualified ninja now so the time has come for our first mission. We'll head to the Hokage, and I expect he'll have something fitting your skill level."

Naruto decided that brooding like this wasn't going to get him anywhere. Neither was acting normal. Maybe he should go back to basics. Pretend it didn't bother him and smile. "Alright! So what do you think it'll be? Hunt down some bandits, or escort a caravan? Rescue a Princess?! What is it, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi might have smiled beneath his mask. "Let's not get our hopes too high. The first-time genin generally get less life or death tasks."

"Yeah, Naruto, you can't expect to be given important jobs right off the bat," said Sakura.

"Doesn't that apply to you too?" asked Sasuke.

"Aw, come on, Sakura," said Naruto. "Do you have to be so harsh with me?"

Great.

Just great. Almost a year of forging bonds and training himself. And now Naruto had ended up in exactly the same place.

The grin on his face felt a little bit thin, now.

Maybe it had always been that way. Naruto had preferred that people laugh at him then reject his existence entirely. Now here he was, putting on the same act, the one he'd become so good at he'd forgotten it was an act.

The Old Man looked up, pleased. "So, our new Team 7, is it? I'm pleased to see you here on time."

"But Kakashi-sensei was two hours late," said Sakura, blinking.

"Aw, come on, Sakura," said Naruto, putting on his submissive, fawning, face, "you said we shouldn't whine."

Sakura turned and gritted her teeth while clenching one fist. "Naruto..."

Naruto immediately backed away, going through the motions. It was like putting on an old jacket he hated wearing. But sometimes you needed to have a jacket to beat off the cold. "Aw, come on Sakura, I didn't mean-"

She hit him.

Because, of course, she did.

Whatever.

"Well, I figured you three ought to have a chance to bond," said Kakashi. "From the looks of things that was not entirely successful."

The Old Man looked at Naruto, a frown in his eyes. Naruto turned back and put on that same eager face as always. "In any case, I have here your mission. Tora, a cat, has escaped from his owner. I'll need you to get him back."

"What?" said Sasuke.

"A... cat?" said Sakura.

"Really, a cat?" asked Naruto. "So is this some kind of huge mountain cat?! Or maybe a chakra infused man-eating lion? Tell us, Old Man, tell us?!"

"While your enthusiasm is good," said the Hokage, raising a picture of a black housecat. "Tora is an ordinary housecat. Well, ordinary is debatable. I expect you'll find her more than a challenge for your skills." He was looking at Naruto in concern now.

"Fortunately this is not the first time Tora has run away. His collar features a tracker that can be found using this." He drew out a pendant and offered it. "Kakashi."

Kakashi moved forward and took it. "Hmm."

"It should give you a general idea of Tora's location." said the Old Man. "Once you are there, you will have to track him down yourself."

"But..." Sakura paused. "Why looking for a cat?"

"Yeah," said Naruto, "Isn't there anything else we could be doing."

"First lesson, Naruto," said Kakashi. "Ninja don't always get to pick and choose their missions. Sometimes we have to do the job they give you." Why was he the one getting taught the lesson? "Now come on, we've got a cat to catch."

"Great," said Sasuke.

And off they went.

* * *

Naruto wondered if pretending to be the happy-go-lucky knucklehead was a good idea? It didn't seem to improve his treatment any. But the alternative was acting like Sasuke and staying silent and all broody. That would be just as bad and boring to boot.

At least this way he could provoke a reaction now and then.

On the group went, Kakashi in the lead until they reached a forest at the edge of the eastern part of the village. Kakashi-sensei shrugged. "Well, from the looks of things the cat has fled into this part of the forest." Then Kakashi set down a scroll and summoned something. It was a series of radio headsets. "Alright, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, here are headsets. I want you to fan out and look for our escapee."

"Let me handle this, Kakashi-sensei!" said Naruto. "Multi shadow clone jutsu!"

Summoning up a thousand clones he surrounded himself with them. With these, he'd find that cat in no time.

"Um," said Sakura.

"Fan out, boys!" said Naruto. "Find that cat!"

"Yes sir!" said the shadow clones, before turning and rushing in.

Kakashi rubbed his head. "I'll admit that's a creative solution, Naruto. But it might not be that easy. Keep us posted on what you find. You two fan out and let's see how we do."

So it was that the four of them separated. Naruto made his way through the forest, waiting for when his shadow clones would return to him. He kept the headset nearby.

"Sasuke here, nothing yet," said Sasuke.

"Sakura here. No sign of Tora here," said Sakura.

Then the memory came in. Naruto smiled. "Ha! I found him, Sasuke! I'll get that cat right now!" As he ran, he created more shadow clones and sent them to fan out and head to the places the cat might go. Meanwhile, Naruto headed for the cat.

"Wait, Naruto, you don't know what you're getting into," said Kakashi over the radio.

Naruto raised his headset. "What?

"It's a housecat, how bad could it-" And then there was a blur of black that bowled him over. Naruto scrambled as something scratched at him. Before he could get a grip on it, he hit his head and then he felt the memories. The shadow clones had returned to him and he flinched. "Arg!"

"Naruto, are you alright?" asked Kakashi.

"It got the jump on me," said Naruto. "I lost my shadow clones! How did it do that?"

"Moron," said Sasuke. "Cat's have much sharper senses than humans. It probably figured out which one of you was the real thing and went for them."

"At least I found it!" snapped Naruto, picking himself up.

"Calm down, both of you, at least we now know the general location," said Kakashi. "Sasuke, Sakura, meet up with Naruto. Naruto, summon your shadow clones and seek out the... cat..." He went silent. "Clever girl."

There was a yowl, a scream and the headset went blank.

"Kakashi-sensei!" said Sakura. "Kakashi-sensei are you alright?"

"It... it must have broken the headset or something," said Sasuke. "There's no way a housecat could...

"Naruto, have you made your shadow clones?"

Naruto quickly stood up and began summoning more of them as Sasuke and Sakura came through the trees. "Yeah, I've done it." Out they went. "I'm sending them out... now..."

Memories came back to Naruto. Then more. Then more.

"What is it?" asked Sakura.

"I've lost three, no, four of them," said Naruto.

"Well create more!" said Sasuke.

"Wait," said Sakura, "can you create some medical clones? Maybe you could sedate it when it destroys them."

Had Sakura just contributed? "Good idea, Sakura!" Focusing, he created several more and looked to them. "Alright boys, you know the drill. Head out. Find that cat or disappear to take it out."

And out they went.

Then the three of them were left along within the forest. They stood back to back, gazing into the forest while looking for anything. Sasuke and Sakura looked incredibly nervous. But Naruto spotted Tora the Cat in the tree branches. It made its way to the end of a thin branch and lowered it behind Sakura.

Naruto almost called a warning as it hooked the branch through her hair. Then Naruto paused. He remembered how many times she'd hit him, and a small part of him said that maybe she deserved a little pain.

Before he could make up his mind, Tora leaped off the branch and began to scratch at Sasuke's scalp. As it did, the branch pulled up, hooking Sakura's hair. She screamed as she was pulled upward, hanging by one hand. "AHH! Sasuke, help!"

"Sakura!" said Naruto. "Hang on, I'll get you down!" He quickly began to scramble up the tree, while Tora scratched at Sasuke. Drawing a kunai, Naruto knew what he'd do now.

He'd cut Sakura's hair.

She'd probably hit him, but he'd have perfect deniability. This whole smile and be an idiot thing was a great idea. Moving along the branch, he drew out his kunai. Then he halted, as she struggled. Hang on, Sakura was really proud of her hair, she went to huge lengths to take care of it. Cutting it would be, well, a real jerk move.

Reaching forward, Naruto grabbed the branch that had caught her hair and broke it. Sakura fell downward toward Sasuke. Of course, she fell on top of Sasuke, slamming into him. Both were knocked senseless, and Naruto leaped downward to land near them. "You guys okay?"

Sakura got up. "Shut up, Naruto. Ugh, my hair. I've got to get this branch out!"

There was Tora, standing before them, hissing.

Sakura and Sasuke stood up and began to circle around it. All of them looked annoyed. And then Naruto's shadow clones rushed out from all directions and leaped at Tora. Even as they did, Tora shot upward in a blur.

"We've got it!" said the clones.

"No wait!" said Naruto.

And then his clones exploded and all of them were hit with the resulting blast. Naruto felt his limbs go numb and fell to his knees, before slamming against the ground.

"Naruto, you idiot!" snapped Sakura.

"Hey," snapped Naruto. "I don't control the clones. Did we just get beaten by a housecat?

"Shut up, loser," said Sasuke, struggling to stand.

Kakashi came through the trees at that moment, sporting a broken headset. "Oh, you're uh... I guess we've all been having a bad time of things. I'd heard that Tora the cat was a difficult D ranked mission. But I'd never expected him to go straight for my Sharingan. He broke my headset too.

"Why don't we call it quits for a bit and regroup?"

Naruto really hated this team. He bet Neji and the others were having a better time than him.


	5. Six Senses

**Chapter Five: Six Senses**

In the aftermath of their defeat, Team 7 limped their way back to a clearing and sat down. Naruto supposed that this was supposed to be the part where they banded together. They'd learned some super cool new techniques, and all combine their powers.

There would be a climactic showdown, and they would catch that stupid cat. But he really wasn't feeling it much. Sasuke kept giving him dirty looks, and Sakura had made several disparaging remarks. So it was going badly in that regard. Still, Sakura had had her hair pulled badly, and Naruto had sort of done something.

So... progress?

Kakashi-sensei walked in front of them, featuring several new scratches near his eyes. He seemed a bit wary but was pretending to be cheerful. "Now then, why don't we put off the next search for a bit. This seems like a good chance to learn how to sense Chakra.

"Sakura, you've had the best grades in theoretical subjects. Why don't you explain." He looked at her. Why her?

Sakura shifted as Naruto and Sasuke looked to her. She looked a bit nervous. "Yeah, Sakura," said Naruto, "what's the story? Tell us?"

Sasuke shifted. "Well, see, Chakra is the innate life energy of all creatures. It is in the air and in the trees and ground. Human beings naturally sense chakra, this is why you sometimes get what we call the sixth sense. You feel like you should do something, even if you have no logical reason to.

"Chakra sensing is learning to hone that sixth sense to the point where it's conscious. You can figure out what's around you without even looking."

Kakashi nodded. "Very good. Thank you, Sakura."

"I'll take over from here."

Why had he even asked Sakura? Was it because she hadn't contributed at all yet?

"Every different kind of creature has its own unique qualities by which you can find them. And every individual creature has qualities unique to it alone. Because of this, as you learn to sense with greater precision, you will be able to find individual people. Even animals.

"Since we're going after a particularly deadly housecat, this seems like the perfect time to learn? Wouldn't you agree?"

Sasuke shifted to look at Naruto. Yeah, he was giving Sakura a chance to contribute. Time to play the moron. Naruto raised a hand. "Sensei!"

"Yes, Naruto?" asked Kakashi.

"Is this like what Neji and Hinata do when they use a Byakugan?" asked Naruto. He was genuinely curious, but he made sure to make his voice cheerful and dumb.

Kakashi might have smiled beneath his mas. "Not exactly. The Byakugan allows a precise vision of chakra and easy manipulation. Just like the Sharingan lets people see different colors of chakra.

"What we're doing is based on the other senses.

"Now, why don't we begin." Kakashi sat down. "Once we've mastered this lesson, we'll try catching Tora again. In the meantime, we'll do some other D ranked missions."

Sakura blinked. "Wait a minute, sensei, what if another team catches Tora first?"

"You don't need to worry about that, Sakura. Tora escapes a lot." Said Kakashi.

"You mean this isn't the first time?" asked Naruto.

"Far from it." Said Kakashi, before feeling one of his cuts. "Though I haven't gone after her before."

"So... we'll have to go after that cat more than once?" said Naruto.

"Quite possibly." Said Kakashi.

Sasuke paused. "... I'd better get my book of cat paws."

What was that all about?

* * *

Team Guy made their way through the trees with some unlikely allies that Neji did not like one bit. The Sound Four were with them, and Neji was at the head. Now they were pursuing the Akatsuki, with the specific orders to track. He'd had to keep his Byakugan on to maintain their pursuit. He'd hoped they'd have found them by now, but they had gotten ahead.

Glancing to one side, he saw Tayuya. The redhead had a flute in one hand and looked at him with a scowl. So did the violet-haired Sakon and Ukon, and Jirobo, and Kidomaru. Tenten was scowling right back at them, and Neji found that his own impassive gaze was akin to a frown. That left Guy-sensei and Lee as the only people able to help.

Neji tried to focus on the mission. The ANBU Black Ops had dispersed throughout the forests, looking for them. Neji found himself being one of many. Privately he doubted he'd run into the enemy. With dozens of teams, what was the likelihood we'd run into them?

Focus. Their job was just to keep track of the enemy. So Neji scanned through one surface after another with his Byakugan, as usual. As he did, he prayed he wouldn't run into the maniacs. Of course, given some of the visions he was seeing, he knew he would.

Unless...

Neji saw a possible future where he convinced Guy-sensei to halt for a rest. Maybe check back in some other areas. If he did that, he wouldn't have to worry about catching them. Which meant he wouldn't have to worry about being located.

No.

No, he could not do that.

Neji had an obligation, a duty to find the enemy and keep track of them. He had been made a member of the ANBU Black Ops, and he would not be a hindrance. So he pressed on, and, as his visions said, he saw the enemy.

They were three in number, and all of their chakras were wrong. One of them was a big, tan-skinned man clad in a black robe with red clouds on it. He seemed to have, for lack of a better description, five chakra networks piled on each other. Their tendrils were interconnected, but he could see that they could detach. As if there were five hearts, which made him Kakazu. Then there was Hidan, shirtless, pale-skinned, and white-haired. Yet beneath the surface, he was horrible to look at.

Gazing at Hidan made Neji feel as if something was looking back at him. His chakra was… evil somehow. And the closer he got, the worse it became. For a moment, he thought he was beginning to make sense of it, and then it shifted beneath him. His eyes ached, and he averted his eyes.

"Neji, are you alright?" asked Tenten. "Are you-"

"I'm fine," said Neji. "It's not an episode." He looked back and focused on the last one, a beautiful blue-haired woman. She was clad in black robes like the others. Yet her body was strange. At first glance, it was a normal chakra network, but further analysis revealed that she was…

It was like her body was made out of paper mache. Held together by chakra instead of glue. It was like three Orochomarus, to be honest. Though only Hidan was quite as horrible. The woman was merely strange, as opposed to a profound violation.

He'd best report this.

"Guy-sensei, I've sighted the targets," said Neji. "There is an unknown woman with them, likely the Konan that the Sound spoke of. They have unusual chakra compositions, Kakazu seems to have five different networks. I would guess this is a result of his removing others' hearts. The woman appears to have changed her body to be akin to paper mache, as though her entire being has been…"

"Use your fucking words," said Tayuya, scowling at him. Evidently, they all held a grudge.

"I don't know what I'm looking at," admitted Neji, disliking her tone. "It is like someone copied and pasted her body together from living flesh in the form of paper. Like she's a statue, Then Hidan is, well, evil."

"Real great deductive work there, genius," said Sakon. Evidently, he held a grudge from their last encounter. Neji had nearly killed his brother after his brother tried to murder him.

"It was enough to kill your master." snapped Neji,

"You want to say that again, punk?" snarled Jirobo, the huge man cracking his knuckles.

"Calm the fuck down, fatass." snapped Tayuya. "We've got work to do. You, Jonin, with stupid eyebrows, What now?"

"For now, we'll follow behind and send messages to the other squads. Excellent work, Neji." said Guy. "We'll use this information to formulate a strategy. Tell me, what kind of chakra would you say Hidan has?"

"You'd need an Uchiha for that." Said Neji. "Seeing chakra colors is something I'm only just touching at. But, well, it feels as though it is somehow violence incarnate. I don't know how to describe it."

"Alright! I look forward to displaying my new techniques!" said Rock Lee. "Let us confront them!"

"Yeah, I can't wait to use Tsunade's training!" said Tenten.

"Or we could just wait until they go to sleep and cut their throats." noted Sakon.

Guy looked at him in surprise. "That's a rather unyouthful method."

"It works." said Sakon.

"Shut the fuck up, Sakon." snapped Tayuya. "We need them alive, remember."

"Keep your eyes on them, Neji." said Guy. "We'll make plans for an attack soon unless..." He halted. "Tenten, do you feel that?"

"Yeah," said Tenten, "that aura it's…"

"Evil," finished Tayuya.

As they went on, Neji saw something coming from above with his 360-degree vision. Hundreds of pieces of paper descending toward them. Chakra was flowing through them. "Is that... paper!"

It landed among them, and then it exploded. Neji felt the fire burn through his left arm and heard himself scream. Distantly he saw Lee falling backward, burning and charred. Jirobo was splattered against a tree, while Sakon and Ukon were on the ground with broken necks. Tenten had gotten out okay, but then Hidan appeared.

His scythe passed through her throat as Guy-sensei descended to fight with them. More Kidomaru leaped back, drawing his bow, only to be consumed by fire. He landed, alive but burned, and then Hidan cut his head off.

And then Neji was back and saw the paper falling.

They had no idea who they were dealing with, did they? "Get away! Scatter!"

But it was too late. Even as they began to break, he saw the papers falling too quickly. Landing on a branch, Neji kicked upward to meet the papers in the air. As he did, he began to spin around in his Kaiten. The blue energy surrounded him, scattering the paper around him into the surrounding woods. The paper hit the walls around them.

And then they exploded.

The blast sent their hair flying around them. The light was blinding, and as Neji landed, he saw that the others were on guard. Many trees were blasted to splinters or fell downwards to shatter branches. Birds fled in every direction, and Neji could not find the Akatsuki anywhere.

"An explosion of that size from unmarked paper?" said Tenten, voice filled with girlish glee. "That's amazing! I've got to find out how they do that!"

"What the fuck is going on here?" said Tayuya.

"Stop swearing, Tayuya." Said Jirobo. "It doesn't help-"

"Shut the fuck up fatass, or I'll end you myself-"began Tayuya.

"They're gone," said Neji.

"What?" said Tayuya.

"The Akatsuki have disappeared from my sight." Said Neji, scanning around. "We need to move now!"

And then Hidan surged out of the trees, his scythe swinging around. Just as before, "Too late, Hyuga!"

Neji slipped off the branch as Hidan brought around his scythe. He Falling downward, he twisted in midair and landed. He saw the others surge toward Hidan. Guy-sensei slammed him against a tree, and Lee lashed out with a chain. The chain wrapped around the white-haired man. Tenten stood by, raising a summoning scroll. And then a massive barrage from all sides shot toward the group centered on Hidan. All four elements slammed in and consumed them all.

There was a blinding flash of light.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Sorry, this chapter took so long.

I had the bare bones of it written for quite a while. I just felt like it wasn't the right time.

Also, yeah, Team Guy and the Sound Four are badass.

But against three Akatsuki? Not so much.


	6. Power of the Akatsuki

**Chapter Six: Power of the Akatsuki**

As soon as Neji had called out the warning, Tenten had grabbed the scroll she'd kept on hand. The Third Hokage's information had been that Kakazu had some serious firepower. So she'd gotten something for that mission.

Best of all, she hadn't had to pay for it.

As the heat from the blast dissipated, Tenten unsummoned the huge shell of armor. Lee looked at her in surprise as Tenten smirked. "And you said that a giant metal turtle shell wasn't a worthwhile investment."

"I admit, Tenten, I am surprised at how useful such a device was," said Lee. "But where I Neji?"

"We've got bigger problems, Lee," said Guy.

Tenten looked up and saw that in the darkness, Hidan had drawn a spike of iron and driven it through Guy-sensei's gut. "Guy-sensei!" cried Lee.

Surging forward, he slammed Hidan hard with one foot. The branches broke, and they all tumbled down to earth. Hidan rose, struggling out of the chains before Tenten brought around a fist. The blow caught him in the face, and he was thrown backward. He through threes trees, before sliding to a halt, unharmed.

"Got you, you moron," said Hidan, wiping the blood from his mouth. Then he raised his steel weapon.

"Lee, the ritual!" cried Tenten.

She and Lee sprang into action, surging toward Hidan. As he began to paint the circle, Tenten swung a fist. Yet he caught it in hand and held it there. Bringing up his spike, he swung it, only for a chain to wrap around it and drag it away.

"The blood!" snapped Hidan. "Give that-"

And then a burst of fire shot through the trees, incinerating several. Tenten and Lee leaped back as it consumed Hidan. Even as they landed, another came beside them and shot a massive wave of lightning. Tenten and Lee had no time to move-

Then there was the playing of a flute, and a huge giant interposed itself. The lightning scorched it, and the beast let out a silent scream. Then it faded. Tenten quickly drew out one of her special explosive tags, lit it, and hurled it into the woods.

There was a terrific explosion that leveled three trees. Fires began to blaze in the underbrush. Then she and Lee were yanked upwards, a wave of water surging through where's they'd been. Some of the fires were quenched, but not all of them.

Tenten looked up to see Guy-sensei, a fresh bandage around himself. He brought them into the trees. "Are you two alright?"

"Yes, Guy-sensei," said Lee. "But, I fear we are outwatched."

"Maybe," said Guy, "but all that fire and lightning is sure to attract the attention of the other ANBU units. We'll stall for time until reinforcements arrive." He groaned. "Tenten, I need your healing to be at my best."

"How fucking great!" snarled Tayuya, landing. "I just lost one of my giants in one fucking hit. It'll take it months to regenerate."

"Tenten, quickly heal Guy-sensei," said Lee. "I will ensure none interrupt."

"Fine," said Tayuya, "let's get to it."

Tenten quickly set about healing Guy-sensei's injury as best she could. As she did, she realized that something was making it difficult to cast. It was like there was a chakra in the wound, actively fighting her.

Jirobo landed down next to them as Hidan emerged from the wreckage and saw the other guy. Tan skinned, with skin stitched together, like some kind of monster. There were the black masses with white masks as well, hearts.

"Hey, hey, Kakazu, what's the big idea!" said Hidan. "You're not supposed to shoot me twice."

"I shot you once three time," said Kakazu as flames rose up around him. The whole forest was catching fire. Tenten did her best to hurry up.

"How's that any different?" asked Hidan.

Then Tayuya blew her flute. Giants opened their mouths to spew out worms with maws. They shot forward, as Lee shot forward with his chains. Even as he did, however, fire shot out to melt the chain, and he yelled as he dropped it. Lightning scorched the creatures, forcing them to back away.

Then Jirobo emerged behind Kakazu and Hidan. Making hand signs, he slammed them against the ground. "Earth style: Earth prison jutsu!"

Around them closed a massive sphere. That was the ability he'd mentioned, the one that devoured the Chakra of those within. And then hands grabbed Jirobo from beneath the earth and he looked down to see Kakazu. "Earth style. Headhunter jutsu."

Then Hidan emerged from the earth and brought around his scythe to cut Jirobo in half. Even as he did, however, Jirobo crumbled to mud. "A mud clone..." said Hidan.

Then Jirobo emerged behind Hidan, emerging with blackened runes upon his flesh. As he brought around his fist, he took on demonic features. Even as he brought his fist around, however, Hidan vaulted away on his scythe, before slashing out with it. The blades shot forward on wires and caught Jirobo across the cheek.

"Not so fast, fatso," said Hidan as Kakazu emerged. "You're dealing with a servant of Jashin now!"

An arrow shot through Hidan's arm, forcing him back and pinning him to a tree. In irritation, he reached up to grab it. "Quit that, will you. Your arrows don't do any-"

And then an arrow pinned his hand to his chest, and three others pinned his shoulder and legs to it. That would be Kidobaru.

"My fist might," said Jirobo, surging toward him.

Ghosts and giants attacked Kakazu, who moved and weaved, his hearts firing at them.

Jirobo brought around a fist to slam into Hidan. But he never hit him. Even as it neared, Hidan smiled and seemed to break apart into liquid. His entire form surged down to become liquid, before snaking up behind Jirobo to become Hidan.

His scythe slashed Jirobo around the back, and Jirobo howled in pain. An arrow shot from behind, but Hidan knocked it aside, before painting a circle with immense speed. I've got you! Let the circle be drawn!"

Hidan reached for his spike, and then he realized he didn't have it. "What? Kakazu, have you seen my spike?"

"Just use a knife!" snapped Kakazu.

"Look, I don't make the rules," said Hidan. "Jashinism clearly states that when performing his Blood Curse Seal you have to-"

Jirobo punched Hidan in the face. He spun through the air off his circled, before adjusting his position and catching himself on a tree. Spinning around it, he used his momentum to launch himself at Jirobo. With a flying kick, he smashed him against a tree.

"Tenten," said Guy, "that should be enough."

"Not yet," said Tenten. "You could reopen it."

Hidan punch Jirobo. And punched him. And punched him again. He did so with vicious abandon, and his blows soon saw the tree collapsing. Then Lee surged out of nowhere and kicked him away. Soon the two were fighting hand to hand, and Lee was fighting evenly with him.

"Don't you dare interfere with Jashin's rituals, you brat!" snarled Hidan.

Then Kakazu unleashed a flurry of fire that burned away several of the giants, as well as the ghosts. Landing next to Lee, he caught Lee mid-punch and sent him spinning away with a swift move. Lee narrowly caught himself.

"That should do it," said Tenten.

Then she stopped, and they leaped downward. Tayuya landed next to them, a kunai in hand. Jirobo stagged up and leaped to land next to them as Kakazu and Hidan turned to face them. Then Lee joined them.

"Damn, that kid moves fast," said Hidan.

"Hidan, you idiot." snapped Kakazu. "You failed to account for the others."

"How'd they know about my curse mark?" asked Hidan.

"You went and picked a fight with the Third Hokage." snarled Kakazu. "Did you really think he wouldn't mark your abilities?"

"Oh yeah, right," said Hidan.

"What was that ability where you turned into blood?" asked Kakazu, curious.

"Oh, that?" asked Hidan. "Well, I figured if I got stuck in another trap like the one the old man put me in, I could just use that to get free. Jashin suggested it."

"I admit," said Guy-sensei. "You two are formidable opponents. Your teamwork is better than any rogue ninja we've faced. However," He took a stance. "now it's about time we showed you just what we're capable of."

"Want just to kill them the old fashioned way?" asked Hidan, retrieving his scythe.

"No," said Kakazu. "We've no more time." Then he began making hand gestures at a rapid pace. As he did, his hearts all appeared around him and began to spin overhead. Their elemental powers soon began to crackle around them.

The air buzzed with energy as Kakazu leaped into the air, so the sun blinded him. Tenten resummoned her metal shell over them, and the voice came loud and clear. "Final style: Ultimate Elemental Barrage!"

The ground beneath her feet became like mud. The shield began hot to the touch, and then there was only cold darkness.

* * *

Hidan blinked as all the elements were unleashed at once. Miles of burning forest was laid to waste in an instant, as the earth churned. Floods of water spilled out around him, as lightning shattered the sky.

Had Kakazu done that? "What the hell was that, Kakazu?"

Kakazu fell to one knee, shuddering. "My ultimate technique. I only use it when I'm facing bad odds. It takes a lot of chakra."

"Bad odds?" asked Hidan. "What are you talking about?"

"Think, you idiot!" snapped Kakazu. "Those brats wouldn't be sent as a hunting squad. That means they were there as an advance force. More will be coming, and there are enough of them to give us pause.

"How did that boy know about our ambush?"

"I told you he could see the future," said Hidan. "The Kyuiseishu Byakugan is a bitch like that." He paused. "Anyway, how did this power of your work anyway? Don't some elements counteract each other?"

"Yes," said Kakazu. "But all of them have an ideal configuration. When fire and wind are combined, for instance, both are more powerful. What I do is combine all the elements in a circle. Each enhances the other, and I unleash them in a mass barrage." He looked at the destruction, looking pleased with himself. "The result is immensely destructive."

"Well, why didn't you do that against the Third Hokage?" asked Hidan.

"Because it wouldn't have worked," said Kakazu. "Our only chance in that situation was to retreat. In this situation, a prolonged battle would have been likely to result in my death. So I annihilated everything that moved."

Hidan stretched. "Well, that was fun. Hey, where's Konan anyway?"

"Shut up and walk," said Kakazu.

* * *

It was a possible future Neji prayed would not come to pass.

Even so, as soon as he'd seen the fire, he'd seen that Tenten had blocked it. Fighting all the Akatsuki at once was unacceptable. One or two might be overwhelmed or stalled.

All three would have the power to wipe them all out at once.

With his abilities to perceive past and future, Neji knew at once he was ideal for stalling one of them. He'd be able to predict their moves to an extent. That was why he'd scanned for Konan, found her, and headed right for her.

She'd made a run for it, of course, drawing him on. As he kept his gaze on her, he reflected that she was truly a beautiful woman. Almost too perfect in appearance. Her skin lacked any of the imperfection normal people had. As if she were made of something else entirely.

And then, as she leaped back, Sakon descended toward her.

Konan spun away, clashing kunai with him before Ukon dropped down from before. As he did, his legs hit her and seemed to fuse into her body. Looking up, Konan calculated.

It might just be over.

No, Neji saw what would happen and sped up as quickly as possible as the vision played. Even now, he could see Konan's chakra preparing.

"Got you," said Ukon. "Right now, our chakra networks are merging. Soon, your body will be broken down and-"

And then part of Konan, her shoulder, broke off and Ukon with it. As he did, the pages lit aflame. Ukon howled, and the pages exploded, killing him instantly. Then the vision ended.

Neji came through the trees to where they were. "Get out! Get out of here now!"

Ukon looked up, then noticed Konan detaching her shoulder. More prepared, he surged out and was caught only in the outskirts of the explosion. Sent flying back, he landed on a tree branch, howling in agony.

Neji quickly positioned himself between Ukon, as Sakon rushed to his brother's aid. "Quickly, brother. Get inside me and heal."

"Right," said Ukon.

Neji saw through his Byakugan as Sakon and Ukon remerged. He also saw Konan without expression. She'd burned some of her chakra in that technique, so it was something. "An impressive ability." said the woman, as wings of paper formed around her. "Orochimaru always was a master at using old techniques in new ways. However, you clearly do not understand. There is no part of my body that cannot be broken off and reformed later." Then her attention turned to Neji as Sakon and Ukon landed beside them. "Perceptive boy, aren't you."

And then the tree branch they were on exploded. Neji screamed as he felt his legs blown off and fell toward the ground. Everything went dark.

Then he was back moments before and unleashed his Kaiten charge. Making the movements, he surged forward while spinning. Konan leaped over it, as Sakon surged to strike her. Deftly she twisted past his attack. The explosion below shook Sakon, and at that moment, Konan stabbed through his throat.

The vision ended, and Neji hurled a kunai straight at her face.

She parried it, which meant that it could have injured her. Then Sakon turned around and kicked her in the face. Konan fell backward. Sakon charged at her, only for her to break into thousands of papers that fluttered away.

Sakon leaped back in caution, and that saved him from the explosion.

Then the branch Neji was on fell downward. As he descended, Konan reappeared before him. Readjusting himself in the air, he thrust forward. But she reformed before his eyes and her paper wrapped around him. Before he could move, it was covering his face.

Then he felt her within his mind.

She was searching through it, scanning, tearing through his mental defenses one by one. He struggled to keep her out but found he couldn't breathe at all. Neji could hear nothing, and one by one his memories were being-

And then there was heat.

Konan was screaming around him, and there was an inferno. Fighting free of the heat, Neji found a clawed arm pulled him out. Sakon was over him. "Are you alright?"

"No," said Neji, feeling burns all over him. "But that was a clone."

"Are you sure?" asked Sakon.

"The woman is highly tactical," said Neji. "She wouldn't have risked such a measure unless it was a clone. We were killed three times in the last few minutes." His vision was blurring and he fought it back. "What was that?"

"Fire style," said Sakon. "Lord Orochimaru taught it to me. What do you mean we were killed three times?"

Neji remembered he was dealing with a known enemy agent. "Nevermind. We need to-"

There was a whirlwind that nearly knocked them from their feet. Paper came with it as they braced themselves. It exploded, and Neji heard himself scream.

The vision ended.

"Break!" said Neji. "Duck for cover!"

They did, even as the gust came. But it was not as strong, and suddenly it came from above. Konan had changed strategies. Neji moved away, and Sakon moved with him, even as sheets of paper fell where they had been. But it did not explode; instead, it reformed into Konan. Behind him, Neji saw another Konan coming toward him.

Whirling around, he caught a kunai and held it in place. But the arm came off, and he fell backward. Throwing the arm away, he saw Konan engulfing Sakon and Ukon, only for both to demerge from her in mere moments. The arm exploded as the Konan above him changed shape into a lance and was caught by the other.

Was that the original?

It tossed the spear toward him, and it began to crackle with flame. Neji leaped into the air and used his Kaiten. Moments later, the spear exploded, and he was thrown back. The energy field saved him, but as he halted, he fell to one knee in exhaustion. Konan was behind him, and before Neji knew what was happening, a dagger was driven into his back.

Had she known he'd land her.

"So Hidan's concerns are true then," said Konan. "You possess the ability to perceive possible futures. Each time you were unaware of my traps, and each time dodged them a few seconds before they would have taken effect."

"How…" gasped Neji as smoke came into the forest. A tremendous explosion echoed, signifying the coming of that future.

"My clones contact with your mind revealed the nature of your ability," said Konan. Then she drew the dagger out. "From there, I created several paper clones. I gave them no specific instructions other than to act on an impulse to turn the fight in my favor. It appears that spontaneous decisions are more difficult for you to predict." She drew out the kunai, and Neji fell to the ground. There was not a lot of blood, she seemed to have missed his vitals. But he could not move at all.

Desperately he channeled healing jutsu through his body. As he did, Konan created a sword of paper. "It is unfortunate. However, your eradication is necessary to establish peace."

And then Guy-sensei punched her in the face. The blow was so powerful that her form broke into thousands of pieces of paper that lost chakra. As she reformed, Tenten landed by him. She looked at him in horror. "NEJI!" She kneeled by him. "Hold still, Neji, I'll get you wounds. Just stay where you are."

They were alive. Thank God. Though they were also covered in muck. "Tenten, are you alright?" asked Neji.

The other members of the Sound Four landed as Konan stood, unphased. There wasn't a bruise on her.

"Yes, I'm fine," said Tenten. "Jirobo used his Earth-style to pull us underground. He had just enough time to do it before Kakazu destroyed my shell. That thing was expensive. And now our clothes are wrecked.

"Then, Kidomaru told us what was going on and led us here."

"I take it that you're the leader of these Akatsuki, then," said Guy.

Konan said nothing.

There was a gust of wind blew through her hair. Like a thousand errant sheets of paper in the wind, Konan broke away and was blown away. Looking around, Neji saw what had happened. Every single one of them was exhausted, having thrown everything they had into it.

And the enemy had suffered no permanent harm.

Guy-sensei was powerful, and he had trained them to have a far higher level of power than an ordinary ninja. The Sound Four were Orochimaru's most elite group. And they had not even delayed them long enough for reinforcements to arrive. As the ANBU Black Ops arrived around them, Neji realized just how out of their league they truly were.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So, I consider Konan to be one of the higher tier Akatsuki.

Her ability is really brokenly overpowered if you think about it. Physical attacks would be nearly useless against it. And any part of her body can be turned into an explosive with no ill effects.

This not only makes her an ideal ranged attacker but a monster in melee. Punch her, and she can just turn into paper and entomb you in herself. Oddly enough, if this fight were in the TV show, I could see it taking place over the course of half the season.

It's absolutely criminal that more wasn't done with her, to be honest.


	7. Business as Usual

**Chapter Seven: Business as Usual**

Sakura was waiting for Sasuke outside when he opened the door.

It was strange, being met on the doorstep, but not unpleasant. She looked a bit awkward as he made his way out to her. Sasuke wasn't really sure what to say, Sakura was the one who usually talked. "Hey, uh, Sasuke?"

"Sakura, why are you waiting out here for me?" asked Sasuke.

"Well, I just, I figured maybe we could walk to the bridge together," said Sakura.

Sasuke looked down to the folder he'd brought out under one arm, then back. "I'm not walking to the bridge."

"What?" said Sakura. "But Kakashi-sensei-"

"Is going to be late again, and if he does arrive, he can wait himself," said Sasuke, feeling a touch annoyed at sensei. "I've got to get this form to the Hokage."

"Oh right, the thing we wrote up together," said Sakura. "Um, I'll go with you."

She didn't have to do that, and it didn't serve any purpose, but the gesture was appreciated. "Thank you."

"Oh, um..." Sakura blushed.

Sasuke blinked. "What?"

"You've never thanked me before is all," said Sakura.

"Do you have to be so weird?" asked Sasuke, frustrated. "Come on. I want to try to get to the bridge on time, at least."

"Right," said Sakura.

So they began the trip to the Hokage's office. The time, last time Sasuke had checked, was a few minutes before meeting time. He slept a bit better these days, as opposed to back when he'd have nightmares every night. Even so, Sasuke had ended up sleeping in later because of that.

It was drizzling a bit, and there was a slight mist in the air, leaving it a bit chilly. Sasuke focused his chakra to warm himself as he walked, and Sakura did the same. After a moment, Sakura spoke. "So, um, does it seem like Naruto is acting different lately?"

Sasuke thought about that. Naruto had changed how he presented himself, but he'd always done that. "No."

"You sure?" asked Sakura. "I mean, if it were a couple of months ago, I'd say he was the same as ever. It's just... for a bit he was acting more mature. Now he's sort of gone back to how he was before, just without the pranks."

"He's acting," said Sasuke, stating the obvious.

Sakura didn't get it. "Huh, what do you mean?"

"Nothing," said Sasuke. She wouldn't get it.

"You know, I think Naruto is the way he is because he never had anyone to look out for him, like um..." Sakura paused, probably realizing the ground she was treading on. "nevermind."

She'd become a bit more self-aware lately.

They reached the Hokage's HQ and made their way up the stair to the front door. By the time they did, the sun had come out a bit. Even so, it looked to be a gray day coming up.

"You know," said Sakura, "I always wondered why there wasn't more security."

"The Hokage doesn't need it," said Sasuke.

"I guess," said Sakura.

Coming to the office, Sasuke knocked. There was a pause, and then a voice came from inside. "Come in."

Sasuke entered and found the Hokage reading over reports with a frown. He looked up, and his expression brightened. "Ah, Sasuke, I thought you'd be meeting with Kakashi."

Sasuke came forward and set down his folder. "I had to deliver something before I forgot it."

The Hokage nodded then took the folder, quickly looking through it with good humor. As he did, however, his expression turned to a frown. Was he merely surprised Sasuke was asking? Or was it something else? "Hmm, this is...

"Well, this is certainly properly filled out."

"Sakura helped me with it," said Sasuke quickly. Her understanding of procedure was helpful to say the least.a

"I'm impressed with your grasp of academic subjects," said Sarutobi. "You want all the Sharingan and Uchiha property in the custody of the Village to be handed over. Are you certain of this?"

"Yes," said Sasuke. "Is that a problem?"

"Of course not," said Sarutobi. "However, you should keep in mind that the Sharingan is a dangerous weapon. If misused, it can be as lethal to the wielder as the enemy."

"I'm willing to take that risk," said Sasuke.

The Hokage remained silent for a moment. "...Very well then, I'll put through the paperwork. However, it may take some time for it to come through, in the meantime, one moment." He opened his desk and drew out a folder of his own, though it was dusty. Had it been long prepared?

It was offered to Sasuke, and he took it. "What is this?"

"This a report detailing the various abilities of the Uchiha Clan," said Sarutobi. "All known abilities and their details are present in that report. It was written up by your father, I believe. He was quite meticulous in mapping the Sharingan's path of evolution."

"Why was this taken out of the house?" asked Sasuke. He'd known the ANBU had performed searches. He hadn't thought they'd confiscated data. Even so, they hadn't found the data Itachi had directed him to.

Why?

"Simply put, the Sharingan is dangerous to develop," said Sarutobi. "I suspected that if you had access to the full details of how it operated. You might do yourself harm, attempting to gain them.

"I recommend you discuss the use of these abilities with Kakashi before trying to attain one."

"But Hokage," said Sakura, "isn't that illegal?"

"Hmm?" asked Sarutobi.

"Well, I mean, all that data belongs to the Uchiha. The village government is strictly forbidden from interfering in Clan affairs," said Sakura.

"Unfortunately, that data was a potential risk to the entire village," said Sarutobi. "If it was all placed inside a largely abandoned district enemy ninjas might see it as a target. Or, perhaps, other clans."

Sasuke saw his point. And he gained nothing by throwing a fit over this. So he bowed quickly. "Thank you."

"It's no trouble," said Sarutobi, puffing on his pipe. "Now, I suggest you meet Naruto in the usual spot."

"Right, we'll head out right away, Hokage," said Sakura.

She and Sasuke turned to leave quickly, as Sasuke quickly sealed the folder away within a scroll.

"Oh, and Sakura." said the Hokage suddenly.

"Yes?" asked Sakura, glancing back with the look of one afraid she was in trouble.

"Try to work with Naruto," said Sarutobi. "I realize he can be... disorienting, but it would be for the best of all involved if you became friends. He may not show it, but he has been frustrated by his placement on your team more than his appearance dictates.

"A little kindness might go a long way."

Sakura nodded, looking a little ashamed. "Yes, Hokage."

So the Hokage had noticed as well.

Sasuke had observed Naruto Uzumaki a great deal during their time in class. His antics were largely a cry for attention. Once he'd befriended Ino and Hinata, he'd settled down and cut out the pranks. That was why Naruto had beaten Sasuke. Sasuke hadn't acknowledged him as a threat, and he'd been improving too.

There had been a time when Naruto was always looking for Sakura's attention. That had stopped for a bit until he got assigned to Team 7. Now he'd been acting like he was before, but there was an edge to it. Sasuke had gotten the impression Naruto was doing it more to fit in than anything else. But there was resentment there as well.

All these thoughts went through Sasuke's mind, so he hardly noticed the way back. Soon, he saw Naruto leaning against the side of the bridge, an umbrella over his head. As soon as he saw them, his contemplative eyes narrowed for only a moment. Then he smiled and ran toward Sakura.

"Oh, hey Sakura," said Naruto, beaming too widely to be natural. "Where were you?"

"Oh, we had some uh... paperwork to do," said Sakura, looking away.

"What about?" asked Naruto.

"None of your business," said Sasuke flatly.

Naruto looked at Sasuke flatly, and his eyes narrowed for only an instant. Sasuke got the feeling that if it were possible, there'd be a line of fire between them. "Fine," said Naruto, before walking back. "Whatever, I didn't care anyway.

"Sakura, you want to use my umbrella?"

"Um, thank you, but I'm good," said Sakura. "So, um, Naruto..."

"Yeah?" asked Naruto.

"What do you, um..." Sakura shifted. "Do you do anything for fun?"

"Well, mostly I train in my spare time," said Naruto, voice returning to false cheer. "I used to go out with Kin and Zaku, but ever since they left, I spend time with Hinata and Ino."

"Ah, right," said Sakura. She seemed about to say more.

Then there was a call. Sasuke glanced up to see Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji running toward them. Ino was waving. "Hey!" she called. "Naruto, long time no see!"

"Ino, Choji, Shikamaru!" said Naruto, not pretending as he ran up to them. "How are you guys?!"

"We're sort of heading out on a mission," said Choji. "Asuma-sensei told us to meet him at our usual training grounds. He had something to do, I think."

"Yeah, like buy flowers for Kurenai-sensei," said Ino. "I saw him at the shop."

"Ugh, this is such a drag," said Shikamaru. "Why does Asuma-sensei have us searching for a cat anyway?" This would be good.

"Wait, which cat?" asked Naruto, voice deadly serious.

"Um, some cat named Tora, I think," said Ino.

"Tora?" asked Naruto in a strangled tone.

"Naruto, why did you just go white?" asked Ino.

"Um, yeah, you might want to be careful, Ino," said Sakura.

"What, you think I can't handle a cat, Billboard Brow," asked Ino.

"No, you don't understand, Ino, that cat is evil," said Naruto. "It took out Kakashi-sensei!"

Ino blinked, then smirked. "Oh, I see. This is another prank.

"Nice try, Naruto.

"Come on, guys, let's go meet Asuma."

And they walked past.

"No, no, wait, you can't just..." began Naruto.

"They're doomed," said Sasuke.

"Yeah, I know," said Sakura.

And then Kakashi-sensei arrived on top of the gate. "Sorry, I'm late. An old woman needed help crossing the street."

"Yeah, right!" said Sakura.

Naruto said nothing.

"Anyway, why don't we prepare to head out," said Kakashi. "Those fences aren't going to paint themselves, after all."

"Yeah, I know," said Naruto.

"Um, Kakashi-sensei," said Sakura, "aren't you only allowed to paint things that are dry?"

"Yes," said Kakashi. "Which is why we're going to practice warming the wood with our chakra. I already taught you how to warm yourself in cold weather. This operates on the same principle."

"What about the rain?" asked Naruto.

"Oh, this should stop in a little while," said Kakashi.

Kakashi turned out to be right about this. Almost as soon as they headed out, the mists cleared away, and the drizzle ceased. The clouds were blown away, and they made good time. As they were passing the gate, however, a group of medical ninja rushed past them. They were carrying wounded men on stretchers.

"What happened there?" asked Naruto.

"There was a recent engagement with a group of enemy ninja called the Akatsuki," said Kakashi. "Several of our teams were hit especially hard."

"Geeze, I hope Neji and the others are alright," said Naruto.

"Don't worry," said Kakashi, "they did engage the enemy. But despite a few close calls, they managed to all make it out okay.

"Why don't we focus on what we can effect for now. Now, for the purposes of this training, I want you to focus on coordinating to finish this task.

"Be efficient, but let's not rush anything."

And so began the process of dealing with the fences. Drying them out with chakra was actually pretty difficult. Sasuke had to work hard to pour the right amount of chakra in. Too much, and they'd tire out too quickly, too little, and they wouldn't finish in time.

Most of Kakashi-sensei's lessons were like this. Small parts of D ranked missions that forced them to work on the basics. Sasuke hadn't even realized how deficient he was in a dozen small ways, and doing this, he'd really rounded out.

The basics were everything.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei, why are we doing all this?" asked Naruto, suddenly, around the time they got to painting. Here Kakashi-sensei had made them paint in a particular way that worked the muscles. While they were using their chakra to spread the paint a little farther and thinner.

"Hmm?" asked Kakashi-sensei. "You mean the D ranked missions?"

"Yeah, I mean, this isn't really ninja stuff," said Sasuke after a moment.

"Well, the D ranked missions serve a number of purposes," said Kakashi. "For one thing, they give ninja a source of income during times of peace. It helps with our relations if people know we can help them out.

"For another, doing this kind of job takes coordination and teamwork. Both traits that are important for any team in a dangerous mission."

"Did you do these missions, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi flinched a little, though it was barely perceptible. Sakura and Naruto didn't notice it. "Um, well, not so much, to be honest. My team was myself, Rin and Obito Uchiha, under your father, Minato, Naruto. We began operating during the buildup to a world war, so we had more... dangerous assignments.

"Scouting and such.

"When things got truly bad, we were eventually called into combat. That was where things went really bad for us."

"What happened?" asked Naruto, curious.

"Well, Rin was an expert at medical ninjutsu, and I was one of the most talented ninja of my generation," said Kakashi. "Obito wasn't that far behind us either, once Minato took to training him overtime. I remember we were always butting heads, it took me a long time to appreciate them for the friends they were.

"Then, well..." Kakashi looked down. "Obito gave me his Sharingan."

"I remember reading about that," said Sasuke, remembering the yelling. "Father was still bitter about it."

"It was controversial at the time," said Kakashi. "However, given the crisis, and Minato's influence, the Third Hokage ruled in my favor, and I was allowed to keep it. Obito had never been accepted among his own family, they were only interested in him after his death.

"All of us were outcasts in our own way.

"In any case, you three had better pay more attention to your work and less attention to my tragic backstory."

"Right," said Sakura.

As they worked, Team Asuma came back, and all of them were covered in scratches and exhausted. Even Asuma wasn't unscathed. Sakura looked up. "Hey, Ino-pig. How'd hunting Tora work out for you?"  
"Shut up," said Ino.

Things could certainly be worse.

* * *

Author's Note:

Sorry for the delay, I started writing this thing and then lost all my data. It took a while to find inspiration.

One of the decisions I made very early on is that I decided I wouldn't keep the plot twists a secret. Why conceal the fact that Jiraiya is Naruto's godfather until after Jiraiya is dead? The fact that he was could have made for interesting character interactions. Why reveal Kakashi's backstory in a side story. It would be far more compelling to have him explain his backstory to Team 7. The one is merely a reveal to the viewers, the other is character development for the main cast.

While it worked with Zabuza, I personally despise the trend of revealing a villain's backstory right before they die. It's a cheap and lazy way of making them sympathetic, right before their backstory becomes irrelevant.

In my opinion, if the villain's backstory is important, it should be revealed well before their death. That way, the audience can put thought into whether their actions are justified or whether they are sympathetic. The reveal will make the character more interesting while they are still alive, and open the question of whether they can be redeemed.

But that's just me. What do you think?


	8. Mission to the Land of Waves

**Chapter Nine: A Mission to the Land of Waves**

A week later, Naruto tensed as he waited in ambush.

The enemy was near, he could sense it creeping through the underbrush. Far too much effort had been put into this to let it fail. So he waited, scarcely daring to breathe.

"Sasuke here, in position," said Sasuke, some ways away.

"Sakura here, in position." said Sakura.

Kakashi-sensei was working to drive the enemy into an ambush. How naive Naruto had once been of how easy this would be.

And then there was a blur on his senses.

"Target on the move!" said Kakashi.

Naruto saw it, a black blur surging across his path. At any time, it would escape! Mustering all his courage, he sprang forward and grabbed the beast by the tail! It howled and turned to scratch at him.

Across the forest floor, they grappled, the creature squirming in his grip. Naruto desperately pulled it up as he got onto his back. Then he saw the claws slashing at him and felt them pass his whiskers as he leaned back.

Sasuke and Sakura came quickly, as did Kakashi-sensei.

"Ah!" said Naruto as one claw scraped his face. "Can't we get a better mission than this?! I hate cats!"

Sasuke, however, set down a book and opened a vial of ink. "Naruto, let me see him."

He grabbed the cat and pulled it up, even as it struggled.

"What are you doing?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke looked Tora in the eye and activated his Sharingan. As he did, Tora shuddered and fell limp. From there, Sasuke dunked the cat's paw in the ink, before imprinting it onto the page.

"Getting a paw print," said Sasuke.

"Why?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah," said Sakura, "doesn't that seem sort of like kid stuff?"

"It's an achievement," said Sasuke. "Back... before what happened, I used to try getting the pawprints of any cats I had to catch."

"Why?" asked Sakura.

"The Uchiha Clan had a long association with them as summons," said Sasuke. "It was a hobby when... he... had business with Granny Cat."

"Sounds stupid to me," said Naruto, not interested.

"Would you call this easy, moron?" snapped Sasuke.

"Whatever," said Naruto, standing to walk off. "Hey Kakashi-sensei, we got the pawprint!"

"Good work, all of you," said Kakashi as he emerged. "Why don't we head back and tell the Hokage the good news."

Shortly thereafter, an overweight woman was pressing Tora the cat into her bosom. The black cat yowled as he was smothered with unwanted attention.

"Oh, my dear kitty!" said the woman. "I'm so glad you're alright."

Naruto was more than a little glad to see it happening. It had taken three tries and a lot of ambushes to get it right. He still felt the scratch marks, even though they were gone. "That kitty deserves to be squashed!"

"Well done on the mission, Team 7," said the Old Man after she left. "Now, there are a number of options today. A woman needs her son babysat, a field of potatoes are in need of harvesting-"

Again? They'd had to work for weeks on all those things. Naruto could handle more than this. Anything beat hanging out with Sasuke and Sakura. "Oh, come on! We've been working at these D ranked missions nonstop for weeks! Can't we get something better than this?"

"How dare you?" said Iruka, standing by. "You'll obey the orders you are given, and that's final!"

Naruto flinched and put his head down. "But Dad, I just... nevermind."

"He's not wrong," said Sasuke. "This is kind of getting old."

"I wasn't going to say anything but, yeah," said Sakura.

Oh, so Naruto was the one who said it, and after he got chided, they got to speak their approval. Jerks.

The Old Man smiled. "So, you want a new mission then?

"Kakashi, would you say your team is up for something a bit harder?"

"Well, they are quite able," said Kakashi carefully. "I think they could handle a lower-tier C rank."

The Hokage nodded. "Very well, I've got a C rank that should satisfy you. It's an escort mission."

"Really?" asked Naruto, putting on appearances. "Who are we escorting? A Princess, or maybe some kind of super-powerful shrine maiden on a quest to save the world?"

Probably not, but it couldn't hurt to play pretend.

The Hokage looked up. "Come in."

Into the room came a tan-skinned man with gray hair. He wore white and brown and had a straw hat. In one hand was a bottle of booze, and he looked to have been drinking. "I'm Tazuna, an architect of unsurpassed skill. I expect you to defend me with your lives." He eyed them. "Hmm,

"How is this short blonde kid supposed to protect me?"

"Who are you calling short?" asked Naruto, not in the mood for this.

"Let it go, Naruto," said Kakashi, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hokage, what are the details of this mission?"

"Tazuna is a bridgebuilder from the Land of Waves." said the Hokage. "At the moment, he is in the process of constructing a bridge to the mainland. However, certain local criminal groups would prefer it remains incomplete.

"He believes his life is under threat and requires your assistance to help.

"With your ninja training, and Kakashi as your jonin, I expect you should have no trouble with a few bandits." He looked to Tazuna. "These three may be young, Master Tazuna, but I assure you they can get the job done."

"As long as you say so, Hokage," said Tazuna.

"You'll set out right away, so you three had best get your things in order." said the Hokage.

Sakura blinked. "What, right away? But we just got back from a mission."

"Sometimes, a ninja must leave on a mission on short notice, Sakura," said Kakashi. "It's part of a higher tier mission."

The Hokage passed Kakashi a set of secret orders, mission details, and stuff, and off they went. Kakashi-sensei looked really serious for a minute when he saw the details.  
And so they separated to get their things together. Naruto quickly put together his gear at his apartment. As he was leaving, however, he spotted Neji. The other boy had his arms crossed and was frowning more than usual. He looked up. "Naruto?"

"Oh, Neji, how are you doing?" asked Naruto. "I was kind of afraid you guys had gotten hurt? You okay?"

"Listen, Naruto, be careful," said Neji. "Even a weak enemy can be dangerous if you let your guard down."

"What's wrong?" asked Naruto. "And how do you even know I was... glowy Hyuga eyes, right?"

"Somewhat," said Neji. "I have found that observing places I have never seen before is far more difficult. Unless someone I know is present. So I don't have any details. Just remember that you may face combat on this mission, and if you hesitate, someone could die. It's a... feeling."  
And he turned to walk away.

What was up with Neji anyway? Well, either way, Naruto figured he could be extra careful.

* * *

Deidara was in a pretty good mood for three reasons.

First, he had a new mission that would give him plenty of time for art. Second, he'd be getting paid well for the mission, so he could pay for more materials. And third, Sasori was coming along, which meant Tobi would be keeping his distance.

"So, Sasori, my man, not that I'm not glad you're tagging along, but you know this isn't an official Akatsuki mission," said Deidara as they approached the shore.

"You have taken it upon yourself to take this job," replied Sasori, still hunched over and clad in a cloak complete with straw hat. "I am your designated partner. That means that even if Pain did not sanction it directly, I am obligated to assist you."

"Fair enough," said Deidara, smiling. "So, any reason we're arriving two hours early?"

"I hate keeping people waiting," said Sasori, drawing to a halt by the pier.

Deidara imagined what it would be like if he set off some detonating clay in the water. That would look great against the setting sun near the Land of Waves. Still, he'd need a target, wouldn't he?

"So, how's that new puppet thing you've been working on?" asked Deidara.

"The sentient puppet?" asked Sasori. "Not well. Most of the subjects I've experimented on end up dead after a few hours. Despite my best efforts, creating a creature that is both fully puppet and fully sentient has been a... difficult hurdle to cross."

"I hear you," said Deidara. "I've had this idea of creating tiny explosions that detonate at a microscopic level."

Sasori glanced at him. "What purpose is there in that?"

"Well, it could really kill my enemies easily," said Deidara.

"Yes, but I was under the impression you considered your explosions to be art," said Sasori. "However mistaken your concept of beauty, even you must realize the futility of art that no one can see."

"Oh come on, Sasori, my man, just imagine it," said Deidara. "Once I use this ability, I can just snap my fingers and bam..." He snapped his fingers. "All of suddenly, everything around me begins to fade into nothingness. People disintegrate suddenly, with just enough time to wonder what is happening.

"An understated beauty. It's a more subtle form of my art."

Sasori scoffed, and Deidara looked on in irritation. "You'd make a wasteland and call it a painted canvas. How many times must I tell you, Deidara, true art is something that is enduring. It must be a monument to some concept that stands the test of time. It must endure long after the original has faded away to nothingness."

"What better testament to an explosion than a smoking crater?" asked Deidara, taking his point.

"Not this again," said Sasori in frustration.

Sasori had the soul of an artist, but his understanding of it had been warped by experience. "Sasori, my man, art isn't about living forever. Art is transient, a single instant of emotion. A-"

"Deidara!" cried an annoying voice. "Deidara, I caught up-"

Deidara glanced back, ready to punch the one responsible. However, before he could, Tobi ducked as Sasori's bladed tail went near he was. His gloved hands clutched his swirly mask. "Ah! I'm sorry Sasori, I didn't mean to annoy you!"

"You're late, Tobi," said Sasori, glancing back.

"I didn't mean to arrive off-schedule," said Tobi. "I just thought you and Deidara wanted to talk about your arts and crafts projects."

"That's a bit harsh, Sasori," said Deidara. "It's not like we need him or anything."

Then, a boat came around the bend. It was a large one and had numerous rough and ready men on board. A vessel came ashore, and their employer stepped out. Gato moved forward, noticed Deidara, and then noticed Sasori with a doubtful expression. "Ah, so you're both here then. Good."

"Gato," said Sasori, voice impassive.

"I have a bit of a problem," said Gato, keeping up a brave face under Sasori's gaze. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't call someone of your caliber in for it, but I'm in need of a rough hand. One that can take care of someone guarded by ninja."

"Well, that's us," said Deidara. "So, what are the details?"

"Well, see, a while back, I set up business ventures in the Land of Waves," said Gato. "Using it, I was able to get control of the docks and various other regions. When the locals got uppity, well, I have contacts with certain ninjas.

"But just recently some of the locals have been starting trouble. We nearly had an uprising on our hands, and after we quashed that, well, a man named Tazuna started trouble.

"He's building a bridge to the mainland-"

"-with the intention of allowing trade too and from. Thus cutting your shipping business out of the trade." finished Sasori, who was knowledgeable about these things.

"Yes," said Gato, looking to Deidara. "Who's your partner?"

"I am Sasori," said Sasori simply.

Instantly a bead of sweat dripped down Gato's brow. His men trembled as the name was mentioned. One of the men, about forty, dropped his spear and backed away. "...It... it can't be..."

He let out a howl of terror, leaped into the water, and began swimming as far away as he could. Several other men bolted off the ship and ran inland. Gato's eyes widened as he probably realized just who he was dealing with.

Sasori remained silent a moment. "I see my reputation proceeds me."

"You... you're Sasori the Cruel," said Gato, regaining his composure somewhat.

"I prefer Sasori of the Red Sand," said Sasori.

"The legendary mercenary who went from village to village in the Land of Rice Paddies. The one who killed people so he could...hollow them out," said Gato, wiping his brow with a handkerchief. "Make them into puppets?"

"Only some of them," said Sasori. "I am very selective on which corpses I use. Is that a problem?"

"No, I just..." Gato looked to Deidara, then back to Sasori. "Well, I had no idea you were still in business, is all."

"And what other areas of employment would suit me?" asked Sasori in amusement.

Gato tried to give an unconcerned smile, but it ended up looking nervous. "None I can think of.

"Anyway, I want the man dead, and I'll pay you handsomely to do it. I uh, I think I already discussed the fee with Deidara, I'm sure he could fill you in.

"I uh... need a moment to discuss things with my advisors."

"Of course," said Sasori.

Never had Deidara seen a skeleton crew row a boat so quickly. He laughed and looked at Sasori. "Man, Sasori, it looks like you've made a new friend."

"Gato and his thugs seem awfully terrified of you, Sasori," said Tobi. "What'd you do to make them like that?"

"If you don't want to find out, I suggest you follow the instructions on this notecard to the letter," said Sasori, drawing out a sheet of paper and handing it to him. "If you are detected, I will kill you and use your corpse as a puppet. Understand?"

"Yes, sirree! Off I go!" said Tobi, racing off. Had he missed the bit about being turned into a puppet?

"You wouldn't really?" said Deidara.

"Do you truly care?" asked Sasori, glancing up.

"...Not really." admitted Deidara. "So, what'd you send him to do."

"That is on a need to know basis," said Sasori. "Suffice to say Pain has other reasons for dispatching me to this location. For now, we have a mission to botch."

"You know, this would be a lot simpler if we just blew everything up," noted Deidara. "Then took whatever we needed."

"Perhaps," admitted Sasori. "But there would be no artistry to it."

"Yeah, I guess you've got to time your art," said Deidara.

This looked like the beginnings of and interesting time.

* * *

Author's Note:  
So on a separate note, in my opinion, Sasori is probably tied with Orochimaru for the scariest villain in Naruto.

Madara is just a Dragonball Z villain. Orochimaru has a clear ideology and can be reasoned with. Most of the Akatsuki, for all their eccentricities, are made nightmarish mostly because of their powers. Take away the body horror, and they are just an interesting bad guy.

But Sasori could easily be a real-life serial killer. He's a deeply disturbed individual who murders people and turns their corpses into puppets. There are real people like him.

Also, I like the fact that no pretense is made that Sasori's backstory either justifies or absolves him of his actions. He is a character in his own right and isn't defined by his tragic backstory. It is where he came from, not who he is.

They really underutilized him, to be honest. His rivalry with Orochimaru could have provided a goldmine of interesting stories. Hell, you could have had a rivalry between him and Sakura. Poison master Vs. Medical Prodigy.


	9. Mirror Mirror

**Chapter Nine: Mirror Mirror**

On Team Seven walked.

Naruto was a bit torn. On the one hand, he was going off on a great adventure and his first real mission. If he succeeded here, it would look great on his resume. On the other hand, he was going on his first mission with Sasuke and Sakura.

Sakura, at least, had stopped fangirling a bit. Probably because she actually sort of knew Sasuke at this point. Whatever, Naruto wasn't all that interested in chasing her further. He'd put up with her abuse for years, so if she wanted to be friends, she could make the first move.

That left everyone in stony silence.

Sasuke never talked to anyone unless he needed something from them. Sakura, now that she'd left fangirling behind didn't have anything to talk about. And Naruto didn't want anything to do with either of them.

Kakashi looked down at Naruto, and Naruto looked straight back. Then Kakashi-sensei looked away. Tazuna shifted.

"Well," said Tazuna, "you all seem the strong, silent type."

"Not really," said Naruto. "Sasuke sort of is, but the rest of us aren't."

"Ah," said Tazuna, "any reason you're so quiet?"

"Well, I think Kakashi-sensei isn't all that good socially, and he hasn't had a team before. I guess he's trying to figure it out," said Naruto. "Sasuke doesn't talk unless he wants something. He doesn't need anything right now, so we're beneath his notice. As for Sakura, she doesn't actually have any interests beyond fangirling over Sasuke. Now that Ino has better things to do and Sakura is in the lead, she doesn't know what to do with herself."

"Naruto..." said Sakura.

"Um," Kakashi shifted, "you might want to quit while you're behind."

"I'm only telling Tazuna about our team dynamics, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto. "See, now Sakura's going to hit me in order to stave off thinking about who she is as a person. She started doing it around the time she broke up with Ino."

"Broke up?" asked Kakashi. "Do you mean they were dating?"

"No," said Naruto, "they were best friends. At least Ino was best friends with Sakura. It can't have meant very much to Sakura since she ditched Ino because they happened to have a crush on the same guy.

"Sasuke over there, I guess.

"Honestly, though, Sakura seemed to be friends with Ino, which is more than she ever had with Sasuke. And she seems to think that Sasuke's going to marry her or whatever, so I guess maybe they were dating. By Sakura standards."

Sakura was visibly shaking from behind now. But she didn't say anything. Naruto leaned back and put his hands behind his head. "Anyway, this is the point where she turns around and hits me like she always does."

Sakura ran off sobbing.

Naruto blinked, then shrugged and kept on walking.

"Sakura, wait!" said Kakashi, racing after her. He halted. "You three, stay here."

Sasuke turned to glare at Naruto, who blinked. "What? So you pick now to start caring about the harem of airheads who hang on your every word? Get over yourself, Sasuke.

"I've spent the past few years getting bruised for trying to be nice to her. Someone else can take her punches for once. And it isn't like you really care about her."

"Why you..." snarled Sasuke.

"What? It's true," said Naruto. "You don't care about anyone. Sakura is the closest thing you have to a friend, and you treat her like dirt. Your idea of being nice is letting her help you with paperwork to get back your stuff. That and encouraging her to watch you train, while she falls farther and farther behind."

"Shut up!" snarled Sasuke. "What the hell would you know about me?!"

"I know you've been alone for the past few years, and you're a total jerkass," said Naruto. "I've been alone my entire life. And I'm only now starting to give as good as I got.

Quit your whining, form some bonds, and shut up.

"So what if you lost your Mom and Dad when you were eight. I lost mine the day I was born."

"I'm suffering because I had those bonds!" snarled Sasuke. "How could you possibly understand! You were on your own right from the beginning!"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't care. I don't want to be your friend; I don't want to be acknowledged by you. I just want to finish this mission and make Chunin so I can switch teams, so I never have to think of you again."

Dead silence.

Sasuke's Sharingan was blazing as he shook visibly. "Step away from Tazuna. Let's finish."

"Yeah, no." scoffed Naruto. "About that, you're not my rival anymore. I beat you weeks ago, and right now, we're supposed to be guarding Tazuna. Kakashi-sensei wouldn't be happy if he came back and found him dead because you're too much of a brat to hear the truth."

Sasuke leaped at him, but Kakashi landed between them. "Stop it, both of you! We're in the middle of a mission here. If you don't shape up, I will turn this around and assign the task to someone else." Then he looked to Naruto. "Naruto, we'll discuss this in private later. For now, let's just drop this."

"Whatever you say, sensei!" said Naruto, smiling widely and saluting. "I'm going to be Hokage som day with the help of my friends."

"Sarcasm doesn't work for you, Naruto," said Kakashi.

"I never said 'they' were my friends," said Naruto.

"Let's just move on," said Kakashi. "Sakura, are you ready?"

Sakura came out, looking like she had been crying. "Y-yes, sensei, I'm fine."

Naruto felt nothing. That was kind of odd, actually. A year ago, he'd have felt bad, but now he just felt nothing. It wasn't that he hated Sakura and Sasuke, he just... wasn't emotionally invested in them. He wanted nothing to do with either of them. If he'd been on a team with anyone else, he'd have never thought about them again.

The truth was, he almost pitied Sakura. She was such a shallow and violent jerk that she didn't even realize she was the cause of her own misery. She'd alienated everyone around her until Naruto was the only person who wanted to be her friend. Now she had what she wanted, and her life had lost what little superfluous meaning it'd had in the first place.

Naruto almost pitied her. Then he remembered how she'd used him as her punching bag, and that pity sort of went away.

On they went. "So, um, Tazuna," said Naruto. "What's so important about this bridge anyway?"

Tazuna shifted and looked to where Sasuke was stalking off. "My homeland, the Land of Waves, has become dependent on the sea. Fishermen provide most of the food supplies, and trade all comes by sea. Because of this, it is difficult to transport goods without considerable risk.

"The bridge we are building will enable us to bypass the dangers inherent to sea travel, as well as... other threats."

"What other threats?" asked Naruto.

"That's enough, Naruto," said Kakashi. "Building that kind of bridge will cut into business interests. It's only natural that Tazuna would need security against unethical

businessmen. Some people would stand to lose money from the bridge."

"Well yeah, but why not call on their own ninja village?" asked Naruto.

"Sakura could explain that," said Kakashi.

What was this, a bonding exercise?

Sakura looked to sensei, as if for approval, then wiped away her eyes. "Right, um, the Land of the Waves has no need of a ninja village because of the seas that surround it.

The channel between it and the mainland is rough water at the best of times, so moving armies is difficult.

"The Lord of Waves made a conscious choice to remain neutral during the wars. It helped prevent them from being ravaged. They were able to provide food for ravaged countries. But um, they lacked a strong military."

Wait, had Sakura just made a positive contribution? Kakashi had asked her for that purpose, hadn't he? Book learning was the only one of her lessons she'd really been serious about, after all. Except Kakashi-sensei knew all that, he was the team leader, and Tazuna definitely did.

So this was about making Sakura feel useful probably because Kakashi-sensei couldn't think of any real skills she might have.

That was really sad, actually.

Tazuna nodded. "That is the gist of things. When I was a boy, we made immense profits from trade, and even the poorest of us had money to spend." He sighed. "Things have gotten worse since then.

"What happened?"

"...A shipping magnate named Gato bought up most of the shipyards," said Tazuna. "He has control of all the ports, and he holds them in an iron fist. Because of this, he's able to charge obscene rates for basic commodities, as well as ship... other products.

"When I complete my bridge, however, I will make it public domain. Anyone will be able to travel across it without paying anything. So Gato's stranglehold will be broken."

"Hang on a minute, I read about Gato in some articles," said Sakura, jumping at the chance to show off her knowledge. "He's rich, but how could he buy out all the ports in the Land of Waves? That must have been massively expensive. Did you do it over the course of years?"

That was a good question. Asking good questions didn't make you any less of a milestone, though.

"Not exactly," said Tazuna, looking away. "Gato has powerful friends who he does favors for. In exchange, they helped ensure his control."

"And these powerful-" began Sakura.

"Hold where you are, hapless fools!" said a voice.

And then, down from the air, descended a man clad in black robes with the emblem of red clouds on them. He landed in a three pointlanding and promptly fell flat on his face. Rising up, Naruto saw he was wearing a ridiculous orange spiral for a mask. He posed dramatically. "I am Tobi, and you shall not go further!"

This guy was pretending to be stupid, wasn't he? If he'd really botched that landing, he'd be in some pain. And nobody would wear such an absurd mask unless they were trying to get noticed. Naruto wore an orange jumpsuit for a reason.

"Tobi, huh?" said Kakashi, moving forward. "We're just crossing the road. I suggest you step aside. We're on official Leaf Village business."

"Oh, you're on official Leaf Village business, are you!" said Tobi, drawing back as if in fear. Then he stood tall and put a hand dramatically to his heart. "Well, I'm on official Akatsuki business! So there!"

Everyone went silent. Tazuna turned white. "Akatsuki?" asked Kakashi.

"Oh, um, I wasn't supposed to say that," said Tobi, drawing out a book and flipping through the pages. "Um, what did Deidara tell me to do in this situation? Um..."

Kakashi surged forward and put a kunai to his throat. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."

"Ah!" said Tobi.

Then something happened. Tobi lost his footing, and his neck moved away from the kunai. His leg came up, and Kakashi-sensei narrowly ducked under it. Tobi then tettered in place, and accidentally on purpose backhanded Kakashi.

Kakashi rolled with the punch and slashed at Tobi, who staggered backward and slid to a halt. Bringing up a hand, he realized that his garment's shoulder had been slashed.

"Oh no, I wrecked my robes. Mister Zetsu is never going to let me hear the end of this!"

Kakashi surged forward and unleashed a flurry of strikes. Tobi let out a cry and cowered in a fashion that coincidentally meant Kakashi hit nothing but air.

Finally, they ground to a halt, Kakashi looking furious. Tobi, on the other hand, was obviously having the time of his life as he looked over himself like an idiot. "Wow, that was close. Good thing I flinched in just the right way, huh."

"Who is this kook?" asked Sasuke.

"That was pure luck," said Sakura.

"I'll have you know that I'm going to take my place as the leader of the Akatsuki someday!" shouted Tobi pathetically. "You'll see, nobody will be able to look down on me then!"

"I've had enough of this," said Sasuke.

Sasuke launched himself toward Tobi, a kunai in hand. Kakashi looked up. "Sasuke, wait!"

Tobi looked up in confusion as Sasuke surged to him. Then began the most one-sided beatdown Naruto had ever seen. Not only did Sasuke not land a hit, but he also didn't even get to throw a punch. Tobi predicted his every move and countered it before he could make it, beating him senseless.

Best of all, it looked like the whole thing was happening by accident.

Naruto reflected that he'd better take action. He was starting to root for Tobi. Making hand signals, he created a number of explosive shadow clones with one mission. Then he had a bunch of medical shadow clones and gave them instructions. Finally, he created a third set around Tazuna to move him if the enemy came near.

Then Naruto turned around to see Tobi in front of him and leaped back. Sasuke was lying in a heap on the ground, bruised all over. Kakashi-sensei was lying in the ground, groaning. He must have tried to help Sasuke and gotten beaten down. "Uh, uh, uh...

"Mr. Pain says that I can't let any of you go. I've got to complete my mission, so you can't run away."

Naruto ducked, grabbed Sakura, and pulled her to the opposite side of the battle. "Stay here, and don't get involved."

"I don't understand, how could Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei be losing?" said Sakura. "He can't be that lucky, could he?"

"He's not lucky," said Naruto.

"What?" said Sakura. "But... but he's a-"

"Who are you looking at, Sakura?" asked Naruto flatly. "Stay out of this."

And then he looked up to see Tobi surging toward him. Naruto immediately surged forward to keep him from Sakura. Only to pass right through him as he did and nearly land on his face. Catching himself, he tried to rise, only for Tobi to step on his back. Naruto screamed as he felt something break. Looking up, Naruto couldn't move, but he saw

Tobi punched Sakura across the face. It was the perfection recreation of a stumble.

Move. MOVE!

His body was healing, and he forced his healing powers to set the bones. But it hurt, it hurt a lot.

"Aha! Victory is mine!" said Tobi, raising a fist skyward as his cloak flowed around him. "I have triumphed over a... twelve-year-old, pink-haired nobody." Then he slumped visibly. "Oh no, I don't think Mr. Sasori will be very impressed at all."

"Don't treat me like a joke! I'm a true ninja!" said Sakura, drawing out a kunai.

Tobi stood up and backed away fearfully. "Oh no, you're the Leaf Jinchuuriki, aren't you! I've really done it this time!"

Sakura shuddered. "Well no-"

"Then you've got some super-secret ultimate kekkei genki, don't you!" said Tobi. "You're the last of the Uchiha, aren't you? Oh, I should have known you were actually a boy from your figure!"

"Why you-" Sakura surged forward, repeatedly slashing, only for Tobi to move out of the way easily. He wasn't even pretending to be a fool here, probably because it made it all the more humiliating. "I don't need a demon inside me or a kekkei genki! I'm a ninja in my own right!"

"Well yeah," said Tobi, crossing his arms and rubbing the chin of his mask. "but you're slower, weaker, less skilled, and less tactically minded than your squadmates. So if you've got no special abilities and no demon that just makes you..." His hand grabbed her wrist as she stabbed. And suddenly, for an instant, Tobi looked like someone else.

"...nobody special, really."

There was a snap. Sakura screamed as her kunai fell from her hand, and she fell backward, clutching a broken hand. Tobi stood up over her, pretending to be surprised. "Um, oops. I'm sorry, little girl. I didn't mean to snap your wrist. It's just that Mother said I shouldn't hurt girls, and your attacks were sloppy, so I sort of accidentally did it."

Then he 'stumbled' and kicked Sakura in the face, before righting himself and stepping on her arm. Naruto wasn't rooting for Tobi anymore.

He was a sadist.

Naruto's bones had healed, and he surged toward Tobi, drawing a kunai. "Leave her alone, you bastard!"

Tobi took on a perfect appearance of fear. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt the lady, she's just sort of useless and weak-"

Unfortunately for Tobi, Naruto was putting on the perfect appearance of fury. So when he ducked low and stabbed Tobi in the foot, it came as a complete surprise. Grabbing Sakura, he pulled her out of the way.

And then the trap was sprung.

Out of the ground burst the explosive clones. Tobi pulled the kunai from his foot and looked up.

"Kamikaze striker!" cried the clones.

And then an explosion ripped through the area. Tobi surged upwards as smoke filled the air. "Wow, that was a close one."

"Not close enough!" said Naruto's medical clones as they descended. And then they exploded into a rain of medical chemicals. It soaked Tobi as he descended.

Naruto turned to Sakura, who was unconscious. Quickly he began using his medical jutsu to heal her as best he could.

Then Tobi landed by him. In his hand was a bloodied kunai, and he towered over Naruto as he raised it. "Nice try, but Mr. Zetsu taught me how to jump really high. Your explosions aren't anywhere near as good as Deidara's anyway."

"Yeah," said Naruto, "but they do work as a distraction."

"Oh, I see!" said Tobi, rubbing his masks chin. "You were using the explosions to try and distract me so you could soak me with poison! Well, I take my vaccines every day, and I'm totally immune to poison, so there!"

"What about painkillers?" asked Naruto.

Tobi stopped. "What?"

"What about medical ninjutsu designed to numb pain and dull motor control as a side effect?" said Naruto. "Do you have total immunity to that?"

Tobi fell to one knee, shuddering. "...Oh shit," he said in a very dark and uncomical voice.

Then a battered Sasuke surged beside him. "Fire style! Fireball jutsu!"

A massive wave of flame shot through Tobi, and yet thought the flames were immense, they didn't even singe him. When they faded, he had a strange, intangible glow around him. "Jokes on you! Even if I'm slowing down, I can just evade with my jutsu!"

And then Kakashi put his hand through Tobi's heart from behind. His hand was crackling with energy. Naruto could feel the heat on his face from here. Tobi shuddered as he looked down at the hand coming from where his heart had used to be.

"Chidori." said Kakashi, voice hold.

There was a long, deadly silence as Tobi clenched his fist. "Wow," he said, voice halfway between buffoon and monster. "You must get a lot of practice with the ladies using a technique like that."

Kakashi bodily hurled Tobi across the path to land on the ground. And then something happened. Tobi got up. The gaping hole in his chest where his heart had been sealed itself shut. Then he took on a tone of buffoonish panic.

"No, no, this can't be happening! I have to win, or Deidara will be really, really mad, and Sasori will turn me into a puppet!" He paused, looking at them. "Maybe if I tell them how tough these guys are, they'll understand!

"Yeah, I'll do that!

"Oh, you won't get away with this! I'm going to go get Deidara, and he'll fix you up, pal!"

And he disappeared in a flash.

Naruto looked to where he was healing Sakura, and he'd managed to fix most of the damage. She'd be physically recovered soon.

"What the hell was that?" asked Sasuke.

"I don't know," said Kakashi, rising up. "We'll heal our injuries and move on. I don't want to chance that thing having friends around."

"Then you, Tazuna, would you like to explain to me why you hired C rankers to protect you from the Akatsuki."

Tazuna shuddered.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So, apparently I'm writing the Dark Souls of Naruto fics.

In terms of heroes journey's, Naruto has literally JUST crossed the threshold out of the ordinary world, and his team has already been attacked by one of the most powerful people in the setting. Fortunately for them, Naruto and Sasuke are much more powerful than canon, and Kakashi has been training himself up for a potential war.

Not that it did them much good.


	10. The Tale of Sasori

**Chapter Ten: The Tale of Sasori**

Tazuna did not answer the question immediately, or for most of the rest of the day. He looked utterly at a loss for words. Kakashi-sensei ended up having them travel onward to get away from the site.

Sakura walked in silence. It had been awkward before, but now she felt miserable. She'd never realized how awful she'd been to Naruto before now. And she hadn't wanted to think about how she'd broken with Ino. All the angry rants in the world hadn't gotten through to her.

Naruto saying it all like it was a matter of fact hurt. He'd been the one who always kept reaching out to her when no one else tried to. And Sakura had rejected him every time. Now he didn't even care.

All this bothered her as she set the fire for the group.

Naruto had healed her earlier, tried to get her out of the way. The memory of the pain was still on her. 'Nobody special, really' summed up her whole life, didn't it? She'd been Ino's friend, and then when she'd broken that off, she'd just been 'that pink-haired girl.' She'd only ever been a somebody to Naruto, and now he wanted nothing to do with her. Looking over at Sasuke, she realized she wasn't much more than a fangirl.

Yes, he acknowledged her, maybe showed off a bit, but...

The fire was finished, and they were all sitting down. Sakura looked over to Naruto, who didn't look back. He was reading a set of papers he'd taken from his pack. She should... she really should apologize. If they were going to work as a team at all, they had to bury the hatchet. And it was on Sakura to make this right.

She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

Then Kakashi-sensei spoke out. "Now then, Tazuna, I think you'd best explain yourself."

Tazuna looked up before taking a swig of his drink. He'd been trying to avoid the gaze of anyone he spoke to before now. "...Very well.

"The truth, Kakashi, is that Gato is not merely a shipping magnate. He is also an extremely influential crimelord. Somehow, he has managed to employ elite rogue ninja to attack us. The Land of Waves is defenseless against them.

"Whenever someone refuses to sell to Gato, they'd turn up dead, or their shipyards would be ruined.

"But taking over the ports was only the beginning. Even now, he's been peddling drugs into the Land of Waves. He even helped engineered a coup in the Land of the Moon, in the hopes of producing opium. People are desperate, and many are turning to drugs.

"Gato is ruining our land, and then profiting from the misery he creates."

"And the Akatsuki?" asked Kakashi.

Tazuna looked around. "I... I've heard of them. But I had no idea Gato might have contacts among them. If he does have subordinates among them... this is worse than I feared."

"I see," said Kakashi, before leaning back. "Well, that is just about what I expected to hear."

Sakura blinked as she connected the dots.

"You knew?" guessed Tazuna.

"I'm afraid so," said Kakashi. "Tazuna, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, I have a confession to make. The truth is that this mission was made under false pretenses. We were fully aware that Gato employed ninja and were using them to break the Land of the Moon.

"We merely pretended otherwise to maintain appearances."

"Wait, you knew this was above a C rank?" said Sakura, horrified. They'd all nearly died! "But then why were we sent, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Because you aren't an ordinary team of genin," said Kakashi. "Naruto and Sasuke are both far above the normal level of power expected in a genin. While their attitudes need adjustment, in terms of raw power, they are at least Chunin Level. Probably more, given that any of us are still alive.

"Meanwhile, not to brag, but I am one of the higher tier ninja in the Leaf. I have a wide variety of different jutsu and a great deal of combat experience." He paused. "Though, Tobi, evidently, is in a class of his own.

"When the Hokage dispatched us, we assumed that we'd be dealing with ordinary rogue ninja. Most are just glorified bandits with subpar equipment. We never imagined that Gato would have networks with the Akatsuki.

"Officially, the Leaf would go on a C rank; it would turn out to be a B rank, Tazuna would explain the situation. Then we'd soldier on and deal with the problem because it was the right thing to do. We were confident that this team would be able to handle it without casualties. At least as long as no one did anything stupid.

"And if something went wrong..." He sighed. "Well, it is the job we all signed up for."

"What about me, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura quickly.

Why had she gone and asked that? Sakura already knew the answer. She had no Sharingan, no special powers. Just a bunch of book knowledge and mediocre scores in everything else.

"Well, no offense meant, Sakura, but you are at something of a disadvantage," said Kakashi. "My plan was to keep you on observation duty — that and other important tasks that don't require significant power to achieve.

"Not everyone in a team is always equal. What is important is that they do what they can."

That was all she was. A millstone, like Naruto, had said. Even Kakashi-sensei knew it.

Suddenly, Tazuna laughed bitterly. Kakashi glanced up. "What's funny?"

"Well, I thought I'd pulled the wool over everyone's eyes and was feeling more than a little guilty about it," said Tazuna. "Now, I feel a bit silly."

"I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, Tazuna. Deception is one of the things we're trained in," said Kakashi. "Which brings us to our choice.

"Given the situation, I would be well within my rights to call off the mission. If we face another member of the Akatsuki, we could have serious problems. In fact, I would have done just that if not for your performance against Tobi.

"Also, I do not think we will run into another member of the Akatsuki."

"What do you mean?" asked Sakura.

"Think about it, Sakura. The Akatsuki is a high-level terrorist organization," said Kakashi. "They have ten S ranked criminals as their leadership. We've already run into one. And our contacts with the Sound believe him to be one of the more powerful among them. It's possible their leader, Pain, uses him to ferret out dissent.  
"Until now they've been trying to operate in secret. I doubt they'd put in more than one person to prop up Gato.

"Even if there is another, however, we are stronger than we've let on."

"But who's this... Sasori and Deidara?" asked Sakura.

"Sasori of the Red Sand," said Tazuna. "My daughter used to tell horror stories about him. Mothers told their children not to be greedy, or Sasori would come and turn them into a puppet."

"He has a reputation in the region between the Sand and Leaf villages," said Kakashi. "I suppose I should give a full background on them, just in case we run across him.

"Sasori of the Red Sand, according to Orochimaru, is Pain's right-hand man. He was the first recruit of the current generation of Akatsuki. While not the most powerful, Sasori seems to hold a position of authority. At least compared to the others, though technically they are all equals." Kakashi shifted. "...My Father killed his parents."

"What?" said Naruto, looking up from his book. "Are you serious, Kakashi? Why would he do that?"

"I'm surprised you're able to pay attention while reading," noted Kakashi.

"Oh, I've got shadow clones listening in," said Naruto. "If anyone says anything important, they'll unsummon themselves and give me the memories."

Kakashi sighed. "I'm not sure. It was a war, and at some point, he must have run across the in battle. At any rate, once he was orphaned, he was selected for the Sand's Living Weapon Program.

"It was an attempt to create the ideal ninja that was a bad idea from the start."

"What did they do?" asked Sakura. "Was there some kind of genetic experimentation."

"No, it was mental," said Kakashi. "There is a concept known as the perfect ninja, a warrior who is more living weapon than person. They accept any contract without personal feelings and fulfill it with absolute efficiency.

"Obey the rules of war. Perform your duties without erring, and all will be well. Then vanish when you are no longer needed."

"That's horrible!" said Sakura.

"Well, it isn't a perfect ideal," said Kakashi thoughtfully. "It was developed as a backlash to the endless cycles of revenge. Blood feuds and personal vendettas ravaged the world during the Warring States period. However, the Third Kazekage was the first person to try and put it into action.

"And Sasori was, apparently, his first success. The reports I read indicated that he defined himself as a puppet of the state, it was his whole identity.

"It certainly matches up with what I saw of Sasori."

"You met him?" asked Sakura.

Kakashi's face went grave beneath his mask. "My team fought him when the battle came to the Land of Rice Paddies. What I saw in that conflict will haunt me for the rest of my life. Sasori annihilated the armies around them using hundreds of humanoid puppets.

"He went from town to town, burning and destroying everything he found. When I faced him, I expected that he would be some frothing maniac. But he was polite and cordial, even as he tried to cut me into pieces. The Leaf Village had been using the towns of the region as bases, hiding among the populace.

"Rather than hunt them all down one by one, Sasori decided just to purge them all. Civilians were already being targetted in the war, so in his mind, the action had precedent. And wasting time hunting them down could cause the war to go badly.

"I barely escaped, and if not for Rin, his poisons would have killed me. And Sasori continued his rampage. He was only stopped when the Third Kazekage ordered a withdrawal.

"He was fifteen years old at the time.

"On that day, Sasori of the Red Sand destroyed an entire nation and earned a new title. Sasori the Cruel. The Sand Village got their perfect weapon. But a weapon can't distinguish between combatant and civilian.

"To this day, the Sand Village is paying the price. They have a bad reputation in the surrounding lands. It has led us to have serious advantages in negotiation.

"Twenty years ago he went to visit his Grandmother, Chiyo, had tea with her, walked off and was never seen again. But villages began disappearing off the map now and then with no survivors or traces left. The Third Kazekage, the strongest the Sand had ever had, disappeared as well. Then, nothing.

"I imagine he must have joined the Akatsuki later." Kakashi looked up. "Our team barely escaped alive, and we were the only ones. And for surviving that confrontation, I was made a jonin. Whatever the case, we now have a choice to make. I've already dispatched a request to the Leaf for support, and Guy's team is on their way. If you wish, we can continue the mission. Or, if you three don't feel up to doing this, we can pass things over to them."

"What will happen if we don't go on, sensei?" asked Sakura, looking to where Naruto had gone back to reading. Sasuke was staring impassively.

"Well, Tazuna could answer that better than I." said Kakashi, looking to him.

"If I go back home without any protection, I'll probably be murdered as soon as I step off the boat," said Tazuna sadly. "My grandson will lose his grandfather, and the people of the Land of Waves will lose all hope. Gato will rule the Wave, at least until some other archcriminal takes his place. But I doubt things will get any better for us then."  
Sasuke spoke for the first time and looked at her. "...We can handle it, right, Sakura."

Sakura's first impulse was to agree at once. Then she remembered just how well last time had gone for them. "No, we can't," said Sakura flatly. "We're first-time genin. We barely survived that last fight. We should go back and leave this to someone who's actually qualified."

"Forget it." snapped Naruto flatly, flipping pages. "I'm not going to let Neji, Tenten, and Lee fight these Akatsuki guys on their own. I'm going."

Naruto was closer to Team Guy than Team Kakashi. Was Sakura really that horrible a person?

Kakashi sighed. "Then it's decided. But Sakura is right; we are outmatched. As such, while we are traveling, I'm going to be putting you three through the wringer. For a start, I know you've trained in tree walking, but there is a more extreme version.

"Water walking."

Water walking, that was a thing? Well, Sakura had read about it, but she hadn't thought they'd be trained in it so quickly. But Naruto yawned and did not look up. "I've already done that, Kakashi-sensei. Tsunade-sensei trained me."

"Sai showed me how," said Sasuke.

What?

Sasuke had been trained in water-walking and hadn't even told her it was happening?! Couldn't he have invited her? Sakura could have learned it too.

Except it didn't matter.

Sakura was just a fangirl. And right now, Kakashi-sensei was above to move on. If she didn't say anything, maybe nobody would ask. But then she'd never learn water walking. "I um...

"I haven't."

Kakashi looked up. "Fine then. We'll each have different training regimes. We'll have to wait for Guy to show up anyway before we do anything. In the meantime, we'll wait for Guy to show up before going anywhere.

"This region should suit our purposes well. There's a lake some ways away and plenty of ground. We'll start tomorrow. I'm going to have a look around, you three-guard Tazuna while I'm gone." And he zipped off.

Naruto laughed suddenly and stretched. "Geeze, the Sharingan is completely broken!" Wait, that was Sasuke's folder he'd gotten from the Hokage, he couldn't...  
Forget it. Sasuke wouldn't appreciate her chiming in anyway.

"What?" said Sasuke suddenly. "Give that back!"

Sasuke surged forward, only for Naruto to disappear and hang down from a tree by his legs behind Sasuke. Sasuke turned around and snatched the paper. "Relax. I'm done reading it anyway.

"You Uchiha really are spoiled; you know that. Invincible suits of armor, super perception, chakra vision, opening portals to other dimensions. Oh, and if something does bypass all of that, you can just use it to rewrite reality, so it didn't happen."

"You had no right-" snapped Sasuke.

"Are you seriously going to start a lawsuit over me reading a book about how awesome your family was?" said Naruto, rolling his eyes as he dropped down. "Kind of makes me feel sorry for the Hyuga. How is seeing the future and reading chakra networks going to stack up against that."

Sasuke stalked off and began reading it himself.

Sakura looked to Naruto, who was lying down again. "Naruto I..."

"What?" said Naruto.

"I'm sorry, okay," said Sakura. "I haven't been treating you as I should."

"Yeah, you and ten-thousand others," said Naruto. "Just forget it, okay. Not worth talking about."

It wasn't like they were friends now or anything.

But maybe Sakura could be called that later. God knew she needed some.

* * *

Tayuya was pissed off.

First, she'd been called up by the Leaf to go on patrol. And now they were getting called up to go to the Land of Fucking Waves. And Lord Orochimaru was just sending them to do it. Probably luring the Leaf into a false sense of fucking security, but that didn't make it any less of a pain in the ass.

And now the Hyuga was off fuck knows where. She'd been searching for him for thirty seconds, and that was too long. Coming through the trees, she found him sitting crosslegged. He had a white tunic on, and a straight-bladed sword across his knees. Apparently, he'd picked it up in the Leaf. Probably to remind himself about how he'd wounded Lord Orochimaru.

He really pissed Tayuya off. She brushed aside a strand of red hair and moved forward. "Hey, blank-eyes, what the hell are you doing?"

"Do not disturb my meditations," said Neji flatly.

"Oh, far be it from me to interfere with your majesties beauty sleep, but we've got orders!" snarled Tayuya. "Orders just came down from Lord Orochimaru and the Leaf. We're supposed to-"

"Meet up with Team 7 as reinforcements to the Wave," said Neji. "I am well aware of our orders. I knew about them before they were signed."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Tayuya.

"Neji possesses the unique ability to see into the future," said Tenten, coming out of the trees. "He must have seen the message being delivered before it was sent."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" asked Sakon, coming out as well.

"I am looking through possible futures and trying to devise a winning strategy," said Neji flatly.

"You've been meditating ever since we stopped to rest two hours ago, Neji," said Tenten.

"I know," said Neji. "I've scanned three hundred and sixty possible futures so far, and we've all been killed in each of them. At best, we fail with serious casualties. Traditional avenues of attack do not seem to work against this one."

"Is it really that one-sided?" asked Tenten.

"No," said Lee. "In many possible futures, we do kill him. However, something odd happens. Whenever we score a winning move, everything just resets, and the timeline changes.

"By that time, we're usually exhausted, and he bypasses our strategy and kills us all."

"Hey, isn't this Tobi guy supposed to be a dumbass?" asked Tayuya.

"And that makes him less dangerous?" asked Neji.

"...Well, I guess you guys were a threat, so good point," said Tayuya. "Fucking blank-eyed pain in my ass."

And then the clone of the guy who'd beaten up Lord Orochimaru descended from the trees. Where the fuck did he come from? "Neji is right.  
"Guy-sensei and I are often dismissed as dimwitted. But we are formidable opponents nonetheless."

"So what do you suggest as a strategy? Ambush?" asked Sakon.

"The problem is that if there is a hole in our strategy, our enemy realizes it and exploits it on the second go through," said Neji. "The element of surprise is useless. Combined with his already superior power, we usually get killed.

"Evasive maneuvers might help, but only ones extreme enough to ensure Team 7 gets to the Wave by itself."

"Naruto took him offguard," said Tenten suddenly.

"Hmm?" said Neji, looking up.

"The report says that he blasted him with the explosions. Then he caught him with medical ninjutsu," said Tenten.

"Then our enemy is not invincible!" said Rock Lee. "If we cannot find a possible future where we gain victory, then we need only change the futures we do have."

"Are you high?" asked Tayuya flatly.

Neji paused, and the yin-yang symbol in his eyes began to turn rapidly as he scanned through more futures. He did that a lot. "...Hmm, so Naruto did. That may actually work, Lee.

"What we will need is a multilayered strategy. One that ensures our enemy dies multiple times, regardless of his moves. In essence, no matter what happens, the outcome we desire much happen."

"Can't you just plan one out then? It'd be a lot simpler," said Sakon. "Check each future and tailor the plan to be unstoppable."

"Seeing the future isn't like chess, Sakon," said Neji. "People make choices, and those choices do not always line up with who they are. Someone who is ordinarily greedy can be generous; someone who is kind can be cruel.

"My sight allows me to see possible futures if things unfold a given way. And if someone has made a choice, such as setting up a trap, I can detect it. But the further ahead I look, the less reliable it becomes. For all we know, he'll decide not to wipe us out and go to a hot spring instead."

"Is that one of your possible futures?" asked Sakon.

"Yes!" said Lee. "Perhaps we may all eat Ramen together and emerge as friends!"

Neji looked at Rock Lee and sighed. "It was merely an example, Lee."

"So, what's the plan, Neji?" asked Tenten.

That was the weird thing about this team. Guy was clearly the most powerful of the group, but Neji seemed to be the one who everyone looked to. For a moment, he contemplated his plans. "...Get the teams together. This plan is going to be complicated, and we'll need all your help.

"Also, I need to send a few letters. We're going to need a lot of prep work for the trap even to have a chance of working."

Just what Tayuya fucking needed. More prep work. 


	11. Gazing into the Abyss

**Chapter Eleven: Gazing into the Abyss**

Tobi was far ahead of schedule.

When he'd gone to confront Team 7, he hadn't expected them to put up nearly as much of a fight. The last word on Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke was that they were formidable for their age. But they had been judged as no direct threat to an Akatsuki. Kakashi, meanwhile, had neglected his training in the long and hollow peace.  
Evidently, that imbecile Hidan had been a wakeup call. With the Leaf Sound Alliance, it appeared as if the Akatsuki were going to have a serious fight on their hands. Thus why the Land of Waves expedition was so important.

But, if nothing else, the seal on his heart was destroyed.

Kakashi could be thanked for that much, at least. Tobi was still going to kill him once he outlived his usefulness, but he might do it quickly now. The man seemed to have some sort of fixation on putting his Chidori through people's hearts.

It was some sort of reflex. He always went for the heart.

"You enjoyed that a great deal, didn't you, Tobi?" asked Zetsu, Tobi's constant companion.

Tobi glanced back through his mask from the tree branch he was sitting on. Zetsu had slunk out of the ground and was looking up at him from between canines. "Hmm?

"I'll admit, tormenting Kakashi has a certain therapeutic value. Still, the Leaf Jinchuuriki has come a long way in such a short time. Make a note; we'll have to discuss bumping his threat level up at the next meeting."

"What will you do now?" asked Zetsu.

"Now?" asked Tobi. Ah, Zetsu had observed the breaking of the seal and was now questioning if his allegiance had changed. A rational question, Madara had never given anyone who worked for him a choice. "That depends. Team 7 is presently en route to fulfilling a necessary duty. If they turn back, however, they will be of no further use to us. If that occurs, I'll settle the score early."

"There are others," said Zetsu.

"Hmm?" asked Tobi. Trust Zetsu to see things no one else did.

"A team of ANBU, under Guy," said Zetsu.

"Orochimaru's old student?" asked Tobi.

"Yes," said Zetsu. "With him are several dangerous prodigies. They nearly killed Orochimaru and are in the company of the Sound Four. Later, they survived a run-in with Kakazu, Hidan and Konan.

"It seems our enemies mean to go to the Land of Waves with considerable force."

"That was always a possible danger, I suppose," said Tobi, standing up and looking out over the forest all around him. Such a beautiful view, it was a shame people continued to ruin it. "Very well.

"I had planned to return immediately to Sasori. However, we cannot afford to allow Team Guy to meet up with Team 7. If that happens, the Akatsuki may lose valuable members, and it is too early in the game for that kind of operation." Sasori knew far more than he let on and was nearly impossible to read.

Of all Pain's subordinates, Sasori was the one Tobi found concerning. Itachi was a close second, but at least Tobi had a full understanding of his abilities. Sasori, in contrast, was an enigma. Only a few in the Akatsuki had seen his true self. Even Black Zetsu hadn't seen it, despite his best efforts. Genjutsu was utterly useless against the puppetmaster as well. His lack of traditional anatomy meant he perceived the world through lenses a human had no comprehension of. Even the best genjutsu master could not simulate a sensation they had no experience with. And since any fight against Sasori would involve a fight against Deidera, Tobi would be facing two formidable strategist and the world's foremost explosive expert.

But then, none of the Akatsuki would be easy to remove if it came to it. Except, perhaps, Hidan.

"There is something you should know, Tobi," said Zetsu.

"What is it?" asked Tobi.

"Team Guy has a member with a powerful ability which allows him to perceive possible futures," said Zetsu. "Konan read his mind and learned as much."

"Konan?" asked Tobi, glancing back in surprise.

"Konan is responsible for creating the mental blocks in the ninja in the Land of Rain, remember?" said Zetsu, voice holding a twisted concern. "She is quite proficient."

Tobi scanned his thoughts and closed his eyes. "Ah, yes, of course.

"I have not been back there in years. When one plays the fool long enough, you start to think yourself one."

"Memory issues from the accident?" asked Zetsu, guessing the truth.

"Given the damage I sustained, it is only natural that there would be some lingering issues," said Tobi. "No surgery is perfect. One of the reasons I prefer to leave the management of things to others is because I... miss things.

"Obvious solutions present themselves, and I can't see them. My injury is an immensely frustrating one.

"Who is it who has this ability?"

"It is Neji Hyuga," said Zetsu.

"Hyuga?" asked Tobi in surprise. "Then it is derived from the Byakugan."

"Yes," said Zetsu.

"I was under the impression that the Hyuga did not possess any higher levels of power," noted Tobi. "Still, I suppose history would not regard them as the Sharingan's equal if there was not.

"What limits does it have?"

"As far as I can tell, it seems to operate on the opposite principles to the Sharingan," said Zetsu. "Neji Hyuga attained it my willingly putting himself to be killed in place of a lesser comrade, Rock Lee. It allows him to send his chakra into others and see through their eyes. He can also perceive possible futures and react.

"In my observations, I noticed that a group of medical ninja were dispatched to the Land of the Moon. By sheer coincidence, they stumbled across a team of Leaf Ninja, who were wounded. I suspect that this was a test run.

"Coincidentally, Neji Hyuga was made a member of the Hokage's ANBU afterward."

"I remember the name now," said Tobi. "He is the son of the Clan Head's brother, is he not?"

"Yes," said Zetsu.

"Then his father was sold to the Cloud to die in order to cover Hiashi's blunder, yes?" surmised Tobi. Had he missed a member of the family?

"I understand that the village was weak after the Uchiha Massacre," said Zetsu. "The Raikage was making a power play."

"Politics as usual." scoffed Tobi, remembering why he'd started on this road in the first place. "Still, this may present an opportunity."

"What do you mean?" asked Zetsu.

"As a member of the Branch Family, Neji Hyuga is a glorified slave soldier," said Tobi. "I suspect he put himself in Sarutobi's service to stave off elimination from the rest of his family. Given what happened to his father, he cannot be fond of the Leaf, or his family."

"You believe he could work as a member of the Akatsuki?" asked Zetsu. "We have been missing a member since Orochimaru had his scuffle with Itachi."

"Our operations do involve destroying the Cloud Village, eventually." mused Tobi. "It is doubtful that secrecy can be maintained until the Eye of the Moon Plan is complete as things stand. It would be better to have such a power on our side. Not in the hands of the Leaf."

"Do you mean to make him an offer?" asked Zetsu.

Tobi considered all the angles. "...No.

"No I do not. At the moment his position is secure, and he clearly has strong ties to his team, given how he got his ability. I find it highly doubtful that any offer made by us would have a chance of success.

"Fortunately, Sarutobi will not live forever.

"So long as we arrange for the old hypocrite to die, his clan should drive him into our hands. Few things work better for our purposes than the Leaf Villages' closeminded arrogance."

"Still, Team Guy will be on route to assist Team 7," noted Zetsu. "Even Sasori and Deidara would be hard-pressed against those two and the Sound Four."

"There are other ways to tie up an army than a direct confrontation," said Tobi, smiling as he came up with an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, terrible, awful idea. "For instance, hypnotizing Neji Hyuga into setting up an elaborate trap for me."

"How would you do that?" asked Zetsu. "You have never even seen him. Surely by confronting him, you make an effort moot."

"Think of the possibilities, Zetsu," said Tobi, leaping down to land in front of his oldest subordinate. "In any possible future where I attack Team Guy, Neji Hyuga and I may come face to face. In such a situation, I need only make it a rule that I will always hypnotize him, regardless of circumstances."

"But you won't have," noted Zetsu.

"Yes," said Tobi. "But he's looking at possible futures where I do. The Sharingan is a visual jutsu, and he will be looking at it. Therefore, even if that Sharingan never actually exists, he is affected by it."

Zetsu frowned and seemed to try and work out what Tobi was suggesting. "...I am 99% certain that such an action would constitute cheating."

"As opposed to looking over all possible futures and picking the one with the ideal outcome?" asked Tobi.

"Point taken," said Zetsu.

"Better still, as long as I meet him directly, I should be able to hypnotize him with other commands," said Tobi. "If I play my cards right, we may be fortunate indeed. It should be possible for him to join Team 7 on the battlefield and still attain a positive result."

"Would it not be better for Team Guy and the Sound Four to be redirected entirely?" asked Zetsu.

"Such an ideal outcome is not likely," said Tobi, who refused to become too optimistic like he had in the old days. "If Kakashi learns that his reinforcements have been wiped out, he will call off the mission. I had to use an eye to convince him not to abandon it immediately." Warping reality itself and half-blinding himself again was a painful experience. One he'd had to undertake just to hypnotize Kakashi into doing something stupid. Tobi was annoyed at the cost this gamble had forced him to pay before they even got to the Land of Waves. "Sasori's plan had best work. I don't like wasting my property."

"Still, there is one other problem. I have to have a confrontation with Team Guy, or he won't see those possible futures happening at all. It'll have to be convincing at that."

"But if any of Team Guy are killed, it will make recruiting Neji Hyuga that much more difficult," noted Zetsu.

"I'm aware," said Tobi, considering how best to engage them. "This is a dangerous balancing act I'll have to make."

"What of the Sound Four?" asked Zetsu.

Tobi looked back and activated his Sharingan. "They are expendable."

* * *

Sakura stepped out onto the water, held herself in place for a moment, then lost her balance and fell in. It was cold, and as she pulled herself out, she slipped on the water and fell in again.

Naruto, or one of his shadow clones, looked up from his leaf. "Keep it up, Sakura. You're doing great!"

Sakura bit back yelling angril and the urge to hit him. No, no, she was going to try and be a less horrible person. If she was going to become a good part of this team, she had to get stronger and faster. So she tried again and managed to get up to a standing position on the lake. "Easy for you to say. All you've got to do it cut a Leaf!"

"Hey, this leaf is hardcore," said Naruto. "Way harder than water-walking, I did that ages ago."

"You don't have to rub it-" began Sakura.

Then she lost her footing and plunged into the shallows. Her hair was getting absolutely ruined here.

"Great job," said Naruto.

"Ugh, why am I the only one who wasn't taught water-walking?" asked Sakura as she tried again.

"You didn't ask," said Naruto with a shrug.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Sakura.

"Well, you weren't really interested in getting stronger," said Naruto. "Your rivalry with Ino was sort of like that, but mostly you competed about makeup and Sasuke.

"My guess, the teachers picked up on that and figured you wouldn't be interested."

Sakura nodded. "...Right, I guess."

"If it's any consolation, you're getting it a lot faster than I did," said Naruto.

Sakura blinked in surprise. Was he kidding? "Seriously?"

"Yep," said Naruto, focusing on the leaf. "I mean, I plunged into the water like, three hundred times before I even got one foot on. Neji and Tenten were way better than I was. The real trick is just to keep going once you succeed.

"I think the reason you ended up stalling out was that your goal was to get an A+."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Sakura.

"Well, I mean, Dad taught me that an A+ is relative," said Naruto. "Getting an A+ in math doesn't mean you're an absolute master. It just means you've got a really good grasp of the subject for your grade.

"When you got an A+ in something, your reaction was to say 'good enough.' Then move on to other scores."

"That's not fair! I know all kinds of stuff that you don't!" said Sakura. "I've studied history and theoretical subjects you don't even know the name of!" Dial it back; she was getting close to 'jerk' range again.

"Yeah, I know, that's why you passed," said Naruto. "Your scores in academics were through the roof, and you had passing scores in everything else. You weren't bad in anything like I was, but you didn't keep pushing."

Sakura sighed. "...Even if I start pushing now, what good will it do? You and Sasuke are way stronger than I am."

"Do you know how I beat Sasuke, Sakura?" asked Naruto, sitting up and putting aside the leaf while his clones continued.

"What?" said Sakura.

"Do you know how I beat Sasuke?" asked Naruto.

"Um, well, I saw the fight. You had all kinds of new techniques," said Sakura.

"I beat Sasuke for a few reasons," said Naruto. "First, I realized my weaknesses. My friend, Kin, helped me start figuring out what I needed to work on. With her and Iruka-sensei, I was able to round out my worst scores. Then, Sarutobi-sensei gave me the scroll for the Shadow Clone jutsu.

"I found I was really good at using that.

"Then I got training from Tsunade-sensei and learned healing. I was awful at it, absolutely terrible. But I worked hard and got just good enough to save some lives. And then I combined my shadow clone jutsu with explosive tags and medical jutsu. From there, I created my signature moves.

"As for my strategy to beat Sasuke, it was like any other prank. Get the teacher's attention, then ambush him with the real thing."

"So how does that help me?" asked Sakura, who had no special powers.

"Well, you haven't fallen into the water yet," noted Sakura.

"Huh," said Sakura, looking down. "Hey, I did it, I'm doing it!"

And then she got clocked in the head with a pebble and fell down with a splash. Rising up, she saw Naruto whistling while reading. "Naruto!"

"What? Standing on the water is one thing, but it's no good if you can't dodge and fight on it." aid Naruto. "Anyway, first you've got to learn a technique. Something that you can do which other people can't. Then you've got to find a way to use it creatively. Round out your weaknesses and put a lot of hard work in, and you'll be good.

"Here, let me help." He put his hands together. "Shadow clone jutsu!" Dozens of shadow clones appeared around him. "Start tossing rocks at her. Only stop when she falls into the water or says 'I give up.'"

"Hey, Naruto, this isn't-" began Sakura.

"Starting now!" began Naruto.

"Ahem," said Kakashi.

Naruto looked up. "Oh, Kakashi-sensei, I was helping Sakura learn water walking."

"Maybe talk to me before you being hurling rocks at fellow students," said Kakashi. "How is practice with the leaf going?"

"Eh, not so great," said Naruto. "I mean, some of my clones have made a bit of progress. When they do, I unsummon then summon new ones with the data. Honestly, I've been practicing taijutsu with them a lot over there.

"Eventually, I finished and went to go see how Sakura was doing while my clones continued."

"Well," said Kakashi, "if you've got so much time, I think you have time for a change of class. Naruto, I need you to head out and guard Tazuna. Sakura, I'm going to teach you two how to break a genjutsu on yourself and on others?"

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei," said Sakura. "But um, shouldn't Sasuke be here for this?"

"Sasuke is undergoing some... special training," said Kakashi. "He mastered his own elements a long time ago. I've been helping him with more advanced techniques."

"Hang on," said Naruto, "why aren't I getting advanced techniques?"

"At the moment?" asked Kakashi. "I can't think of any techniques I could teach you in this time. None that would be more effective than working on your shadow clone combo. Sometimes the best training is about mastering what you already have."

"So what technique are you teaching Sasuke?" asked Sakura.

"Chidori," said Kakashi. "Although I doubt he'll learn it in a useable fashion by the time Guy gets here. But by telling him I'm teaching him some amazing new technique, I motivate him to work incredibly hard. If I told him to just practice the basics, he wouldn't be doing it with the same enthusiasm.

"It just so happens that training to be able to learn the Chidori requires training extensively in the basics. Isn't it convenient how my lessons worked out?"  
Sakura said nothing.

"So, Sakura, are you ready to begin training in genjutsu?"

Sakura nodded. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei!"

The next time they ran into Tobi, Sakura was not going to be dead weight.


	12. Game Breaker

**Chapter Twelve: Game Breaker**  
A few days later, the time had come.

Tobi sensed their energies nearby and was preparing himself in the trees. He'd gone out of his way to exert himself at little as possible. His massive chakra reserves were beneficial. But half his body was not designed to support the other half. Kakashi had forced him to do some serious regeneration, and that had burned chakra.

He'd only just recovered.

"Tobi, are you certain you wish to face them alone?" asked Zetsu. "It might be wise to gain reinforcements. Kisami and Itachi are nearby, I'm told."

"I am more than capable of dealing with any squad of ANBU.," said Tobi. "Still, Team Guy are obviously formidable opponents, and it will not due to be reckless.

"There is no telling what traps lie in-"

And then a brown-haired shinobi in pink surged out of the trees. Tobi leaped back, narrowly avoiding her punch. But he felt the wind from it as he surged back to the next branch with Zetsu. Even as he did, however, the young shinobi landed on the branch and drew out a scroll.

It was Tenten.

Then she began to spin, the scroll flowing around her as she blurred. "The amazing master of ranged combat and one-hit knockouts, trained by Tsunade herself!" The scroll activated and into the air were fired numerous rockets. As they skyward, she posed, spinning two kunai around. "I am Tenten!"

And then Tobi felt something coming and moved aside as a blur shot throughout the forest. It surged around Tobi and Zetsu, before backflipping away to land on the opposite side of the branch. It was a lean, black-haired boy in green spandex with a bowl cut. "The green blur and genius of hard work! My name is Rock Lee! No one can beat my speed!" And he pumped the air with a fist, swinging a chain around.

"Um..." began Tobi, at something of a loss.

Then a figure, cloaked in white, descended between Tenten and Lee. He threw aside his cloak to reveal a Hyuga. "The all-seeing master of time and space, I am Neji Hyuga!

This battle was won before it began!"

And he drew a bright sword that flickered in the sun.

"And now!" said Tenten.

"The undisputed master of hard work!" said Lee.

"The Sage of Youth!" said Neji.

And down from the ground descended Guy himself, landing on one knee behind them. Then he gave a thumbs up. "I'm Guy-sensei! Nice to meet ya!"  
The rockets exploded into glorious, multicolored fireworks as they assembled... was that a sentai pose?

"WE ARE TEAM GUY!" said all four at once.

Tobi realized he ought to get into character. But for the life of him, he could not remember which character he was meant to be portraying. Why was he here again? Um, was it to assess Neji Hyuga's worth as a candidate?

Perhaps he should assess Zetsu's judgment instead. "...Wonderful.

"Zetsu, are you uh... certain these are the ones?"

"Quite," said Zetsu.

Then Tenten looked at Zetsu and flinched with a cry. He generally got that reaction when people noticed him. "What is that thing?!"

"Tenten, I taught you better than that," said Guy-sensei. "You shouldn't judge people by their appearances. For all you know, he's a perfectly fine Shinobi."

Tenten nodded and looked downcast. "Sorry, Guy-sensei, I guess I kind of got freaked out by his appearance."

"You ought to tell him that," said Guy.

And then Tenten leaped over to the branch. Tobi stepped back and took a stance, but she just approached Zetsu. "Hey, um, Zetsu, is it? I'm really sorry I judged you on your appearance. You kind of took me by surprise."

"It's no trouble, I get that reaction a great deal," said Zetsu, blinking in surprise.

And then Tenten offered Zetsu his hand. What was she doing?! Tobi could kill her at any time!

"Shake on it?" said Tenten.

"Of course," said Zetsu, quickly shaking hands.

"What?" said Tobi.

And then Guy-sensei landed and clapped both on the back. "Excellent! Glad to see your friends again?"

"I'm not certain we are familiar enough to qualify as such," said Zetsu.

"Well, it's something to work for after the Leaf beats the Akatsuki!" said Guy.

"Now, let us get back to business," said Lee.

Tenten and Guy leaped back, and Guy pointed at them. "We, Team Guy, challenge you to a fight!"

Was... what was this? Illusion? Some sort of drug-induced hallucination? What had happened to the gritty, dark universe, he'd just been walking here? And what was Tobi supposed to say in response to that? "...Why?"

"I'm the eternal rival to Kakashi Hatake, and I hear you did a number on him," said Guy. "So, Team Guy, the strongest Leaf Team, is going to take you down."  
Tobi put his mask in his hands. "...Surely you could have had your Sound allies put a knife in me while you were posing? It would be... legitimately less painful than this."

"That wouldn't be fair," said Tenten. "With the Sound Ninja, we'd outnumber you eight to one, not good odds for anyone. So, we're going to challenge you to a series of one on one matches in order."

"Are you?" asked Tobi, deciding to just see where this went.

"But not here," said Neji.

"That's right," said Guy-sensei. "This arena isn't any good for that kind of thing. Too much cover and not room for youthful ninja to fight.

"Follow us."

And they shot off like a bolt of lightning.

For a moment, Tobi stood there, completely flummoxed. This was... it was like someone took all those stupid speeches made by Minato. And then created a universe where they had a semblance of basis on reality.

Nevermind, even Minato wouldn't conceive of something this idiotic.

"...What now, Tobi?" asked Zetsu.

"I see," said Tobi, regaining control of himself, or pretending as much anyway. "It is clear that Neji is as aware of the suicidal nature of what is happening. And also that I do not intend to kill any of his comrades. It is conceivable that this is an elaborate way of throwing the fight. Or perhaps my plan has already succeeded."

"It is possible that they are legitimately that stupid, Tobi," noted Zetsu.

"Let's just follow them," said Tobi.

And they surged on. As they did, Tobi glanced at Zetsu, wondering about something. "Why did you shake her hand, anyway?"  
"It seemed polite," said Zetsu.

"You probably could have put a hand through her chest," noted Tobi.

"Yes, but our policy is to leave Team Guy alive," said Zetsu.

"Right, right, yes, of course," said Tobi.

"Have they rattled you?" asked Zetsu.

"No!" said Tobi, too quickly and loudly for his own comfort. "We'll quickly render these unconscious and move on. Then see if we can find the Sound and wipe them out."

"You seem to be making plans very hurriedly," said Zetsu. "And, you forgot to use your Tobi persona."

"Fine, maybe I am rattled," said Tobi. "It doesn't matter, I'm more powerful than them all together. Provided they have no more surprises, this should be simple."

"That seems a big if," noted Zetsu.

Tobi did not answer. Soon they caught up with Team Guy and came out of the trees to a huge coliseum made from living wood. Landing in the middle of it, Tobi looked around in bemusement, wondering how it could have been made.

Oh, yes, of course.

"An arena of living wood?" asked Tobi. "You employed Yamato of the ANBU solely for this?"

"More than that," said Guy. "Kurenai, Yakumo, drop the genjutsu!"

"Genjutsu..." asked Tobi, "but how-"

And then, suddenly, it was like a curtain was peeled away from the seats as he saw thousands of people cheering. Many were holding corndogs or eating ramen. Wait... how could they have created a genjutsu like this before anyone even entered.

Genjutsus merely changed perception, save at the absolute highest levels.

"WHAT?!" said Tobi.

And then there was a beautiful brown-haired woman who landed, holding a microphone. Cheers came forward as she strode forth. "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our grand opening! The first match of what will hopefully be many! I'm Kurenai Yuhi, and I'll be acting as the announcer for this match!

"Today, we have a grudge match between Tobi of the Akatsuki and Team Guy. Tobi recently ambushed and beat their friends in Team 7 to a pulp.

"Now Team Guy here is here to prove the Leaf Village is not one to fight with!

"Today, you'll be watching a showdown of epic proportions! Tobi will fight each member of Team Guy in a one on one battle! If he is victorious, he will move on and fight the next one tomorrow. If he is defeated, the one who struck him down will, in turn, go on to face the rest of Team Guy.

"Couple of rules, ladies and gentlemen, no killing, if someone says 'I forfeit' the fight is over."

Tobi saw other things as well. And in a place of honor in a high stand, he saw Tsunade, observing alongside the Toad Sage Jiraiya. And also, Orochimaru. And also something else. "Are those... concession stands?

"How...

"How could you have set all this up so quickly?!"

"Well, see, Neji was planning to have the Sound Four assassinate you while you were in awe from our youthful poses," said Tenten. "They'd use this trap where no possible move you could make would permit your survival.

"But Lee didn't like the idea of tarnishing the power of youth with backstabbing. So he suggested we fight you in one on one matches, in exchange for a guarantee on both sides that nobody dies.

"Then Sakon suggested that we could make a tournament where the people from all over. That way, we could make a profit on the side. Guy-sensei then had the idea to get Yamato to make an arena. After that, Jirobo had the idea to let some local merchants provide concessions. But for that, we had to get a license from the Hokage."

"The Hokage did not like the idea of doing a full tournament without having medical attention," said Lee. "So he called up Tsunade for some medical ninja, and since she wanted to see two of her students fight, she came too.

"Once Tsunade was involved-"

There was a flash as a young girl in a trenchcoat landed in the arena. She snatched the mike from Kurenai. "Orochimaru-sensei wanted a piece of the action. So he sent advertisements all over the entire country!"

Hey folks, the names Anko, I'll be assisting Kurenai with the announcing for this match-"

"Give that back, Anko," said Kurenai, snatching it away and drawing another one. "You have your own mike. Then she looked back. Anyway, it took lot of hard-working ninja had to work overtime to set this up, but we managed it!"

Wait, wait, wait, back up.

"But how could any advertisement campaign with such abruptness?" asked Tobi.

"Simple," said Neji, "I saw this future weeks ago and made arrangements."

"But you didn't!" snarled Tobi. "You couldn't imagine a future where you derailed this conflict into a tournament arc! You even admitted as much earlier!"

"True enough," said Neji. "The Kyuseishu Byakugan allows me to observe times and places my chakra is present. In theory, this would leave me only able to influence my own actions now. However, reality is largely a result of our perception of it. What we call the past and future are merely things we are not observing at the moment. What do now alters not just the future, but how the past is perceived.

"If perception creates reality, then altering the perception of the past changes it.

"So I simply altered my perceptions in a way that still led me to this point, and set up what I needed. It took me two hours of nonstop effort to pull it off, and I burned a lot of chakra. But well... it just worked."

"...You can't do that!" said Tobi. "You can't just rewrite reality to make an impossible challenge solvable!" He was cheating!

"I believe I just did," said Neji. "Though it wouldn't have been possible without the cooperation of everyone here. If anyone had been acting against me, I would have never managed it.

"Fortunately, no one perceived my interference at all."

"He has a point, Tobi." said Zetsu. "And you have been doing-"

"Quiet!" said Tobi.

"Alright, that's enough chatter kids," said Anko, moving forward. Wait, why was she calling him kid? "Now, nobody needs to worry about the battle spilling into the stands. Orochimaru-sensei has it covered! Set the shield up, Tayuya!"

Up came a shield, and Tobi had a bad feeling about this.

"This energy field is so powerful it requires four A-ranked ninja to do nothing but work in keeping it up," said Anko. "Orochimaru-sensei had it designed for the sole purpose of engaging in single combat. It separates the space within it into a separate dimension.

"This means that any jutsu that creates an effect outside the shield is useless. Hope none of you put all your points into teleport."

"No one's going to get that joke, Anko," said Kurenai.

Tobi tried to teleport. Nothing happened.

What had just happened here?

Tobi was in the middle of a public arena where he was being forced to fight a series of one on one matches against Team Guy. The Legendary Sannin were watching. So if he did anything to break the rules, they'd intervene and wipe him out. But if the Hokage had agreed to this, then he'd surely have arranged for the matches to be rigged against Tobi.

And even if he won, he'd have to expend chakra to do it, which meant he'd be at a disadvantage. And given that all of the Legendary Sanin would want him dead, they'd probably be after him like a shot.

But it didn't even end there.

As Tobi landed back on the ground, he looked at the crowd. And he realized that even if he defeated Team Guy and evaded the Legendary Sanin, it was no good. Because the victory would have satisfied the crowd. And it would result in the Leaf Village making massive amounts of money.

There was no way out!

"Now, that's enough explanation!" She tossed a mike to Anko, and both posed together, back to back framed by a genjutsu spotlight. **"WELCOME TO NINJAMANIA!"**

Cue the fireworks.

* * *

**Author's Note:**  
So, this idea came out of nowhere for me.

Neji would plan an elaborate Xanatos Roulette in the hopes of killing off Tobi. However, I ultimately decided that it wouldn't mesh with Team Guy.  
This...

This kind of insanity meshes with Team Guy.


	13. Tenten Vs Tobi

**Chapter Thirteen: Tenten Vs. Tobi**

Naruto focused his power again, made the hand signals, and got the effect he wanted. A razor wind shot past him and tore into the rock beyond, cutting down. He breathed heavily, glad he'd done it at last.

Kakashi looked up from his reading. "Nicely done, Naruto. You've done well with that jutsu.

"Now, do it a hundred more times."

"A hundred?" asked Naruto. "But sensei, I already did this a dozen times."

"Every time you try, you get a little better," said Kakashi. "You wasted a lot of chakra on it, and you need to master it before you can even think of taking it into battle." Then he looked up to the pool of water. There Sakura had finished. "Hmm, Sakura's broken another genjutsu. Guess I'd better..."

And then there was a poof of smoke, and a small, brown bulldog appeared, wearing a message on his back. "Dog messenger here," he said in a low voice.

"Pakkun?" asked Kakashi. "What's going on here?"

"Top priority message," said Pakkun, moving forward. "The Village Hidden in the Leaves has had all messengers working overtime, so I had to pitch in."  
Kakashi took up the scroll and read it. "What is that?"

"A letter for you from Guy," said Pakkun.

"Dear Kakashi," read Kakashi, eyebrows furrowed. "Having a tournament with the Akatsuki.

"Don't wait up.

"Also, please find enclosed tickets to watch the show."

Kakashi drew out four tickets. One for each of them, though Naruto guessed Tazuna would miss out. "...Guy, you are too much.

"Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, take a break."

Sakura ran up to them, and Sasuke looked up from where he was trying to master Chidori. "What's going on, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura, looking really pretty.

"Apparently a tournament with the Akatsuki," said Kakashi.

"Ninja have tournaments with their enemies?" asked Tazuna.

"Not normally," said Kakashi. "However, I've got a rival who is... somewhat eccentric. That eccentricity rubs off on people. In this case, it's a tournament. The contestants are

Team Guy against a single Akatsuki in a series of one-on-one battles. No killing allowed.

"It's apparently Leaf Village approved. They're making money on this."

"Can we watch it, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Naruto. "I really want to see Neji and Bushy Brows fight."

"Can't we just keep training?" asked Sasuke.

"This is actually an opportunity," said Kakashi. "We could learn a great deal about our enemy's powers and have a good time while we do it.

"...Against my better judgment, we'll try for it." Then he passed each one of them a ticket.

"What is that ticket for?" asked Tazuna.

"Oh, these, when activated, create a genjutsu of a particular event," said Kakashi. "They're used to present evidence, as well as for spying missions.

"I guess Guy found another use for it."

"Fine, let's try for it," said Sasuke.

As one, they activated the ticket, and then it was like they were suddenly sitting in the seats of an arena. Looking down, Naruto realized they were at the front rows. Ahead of them through a translucent shield, they could see Tenten. She was standing down against Tobi. Naruto wondered if he had been teleported away and tried to stand up, only to find himself back in the clearing.

Looking back, he was there again.

So the audience were there by genjutsu.

And a hard rock theme seemed to be playing from everywhere and nowhere.

Then Kurenai-sensei came forward. She was wearing a one-piece black leather outfit with a lot of cleavage that bared her long legs. It was really sexy, actually, well worth using as reference. "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first match of our tournament! In the one corner, a figure with no face, no identity which is known only by one name... I give you, Tobi!"

Then Anko moved up to Tobi and offered him a microphone. She was wearing much the same thing she had last time Naruto met her. He found this disappointing. "Tobi, do you have anything to say to the crowd?"

Tobi was not pretending to be an idiot, but he glanced over at them briefly, before looking away. "...No."

"Truly a man of few words," said Kurenai.

"He looks different from how he was before," said Sakura.

"Yeah, he's stopped pretending," said Naruto.

Kakashi glanced up. "You noticed."

"Yeah, I do that kind of thing all the time," said Naruto. "Pretend to be an idiot, and you can get away with things. I did it to get attention, I think Tobi did it because he likes making other people suffer."

Sasuke said nothing. He'd been taken in, hadn't he?

Then Kurenai turned to Tenten. Before she could speak, however, Anko ran up to her. "In the other corner, an up and coming ninja and a student of Tsunade, one of the Legendary Sanin herself. Though, personally, I don't think that makes her all that special, I mean Tsunade had an entire team of ninja. And training under her won't get you killed like with Orochimaru-sensei.

"I mean really, I think we both know she doesn't stand a chance here. I mean this guy is obviously a trained killing machine and-"

Kurenai quickly snatched her microphone from Anko. "Thank you, Anko, I'll take over from here. I give you, Tenten!"

"So, Tenten, anything to say to the-" began Kurenai.

And then her microphone was snatched from her by Tenten, who brought it to her own lips. "Hi, I'm Tenten, I was an orphan for years, but I supported myself by working three jobs while I went to the academy. After that, I graduated by pure merit and was assigned to Guy-sensei alongside my friends Neji and Lee.

"I'm a missile specialist. Since I don't have any special bloodlines, I've focused on mastering the basic skills of a ninja. I also picked up a bunch of new tricks from Lady Tsunade, and her training has done wonders for my chakra control."

"Well, that sounds-" began Kurenai, trying to get her microphone back.

Then what she was going to say was cut off. Looking up, Kurenai realized that Anko had unplugged the microphone. Moving up to Tenten with a new one, Anko stepped forward. "Uh huh? Let me ask if this story sounds familiar to you. A bright, bushy-tailed young ninja graduates from the Ninja Academy in the Leaf. She imagines she'll become a splendid ninja like Tsunade herself.

"Only to be trounced by people with a fraction of the work ethic she has. Solely because they were born with magic eye powers. And then our young ninja realizes her own utter worthlessness. Culminating in her consigning herself to a loveless marriage to some guy. Who it is doesn't matter at all. He only sees her as a means to assure everybody that he is not into the guy he's constantly shouting the name of."

"Well, um, I'd furiously deny that, but that doesn't sound anything like me," said Tenten, weirded out. "How many Legendary Sanin have you nearly killed?"

Anko raised a hand, halted, and then seethed. "...You win this round, Tenten."

"What's she talking about, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura.

"Oh, um, when Hashirama initially founded the village, he was very conservative," said Kakashi. "In his mind, women should not be put on the battlefield at all. Well, um, the decision was eventually reversed for many reasons, Tsunade among them. But what shut down the conservatives were gender dynamics.

"Young male ninja tended to spend all their time on assignment. So they ended up having relationships with each other. The birth rate was plummetting with all the wars going on. The Leaf Village actually had to give economic incentives for having children and well... it's much cheaper this way."

Naruto thought about the prospect of having a relationship with Sasuke. The idea of them being friends...

It made him want to throw up. Just working with the guy was nearly intolerable.

"Now, without further ado, let's get the show started!" said Kurenai, who had plugged back in her microphone by now.

Then Kurenai and Anko both struck poses, so they were back to back. "BEGIN!" they said together.

And then they vanished.

Tobi moved instantly. He surged forward at a speed that Naruto could hardly follow and brought around a leg in a roundhouse kick. Tenten ducked under it, before rolling away from another strike. Pivoting, on the one hand, she brought around a leg to kick Tobi, but it passed through. She nearly got a fist to the face for it as she rolled away, and sliding back, she drew out a tag.

"Wow, a brilliant series of attacks by Tobi! But Tenten's showing some extraordinary moves herself!" said Kurenai.

Drawing kunai, Tenten spun them around, before charging and hurling them at the same time. The kunai passed through Tobi's body harmlessly. Then Tenten ducked low and brought her fist into his stomach. It passed through that too, but as Tenten drew her fist back, she released something from her tag within Tobi.

As she backflipped away, Tobi made hand signs. "Fire style: Fireball Jutsu!"

Tobi's mask unleashed an immense wave of fire. It made the one Sasuke had unleashed look like a candle flame. The borders of the shield seemed to ripple as it shot over the ground. The liquid within the dirt boiled, and the earth itself churned.

Leaped away, kicking the ground to raise an immense shield of earth. That was burned away, but Tenten summoned her scarab shield. The flamed went over it, but it held firm. At last, the flames died away, and Tenten threw it off.

"Well... um..." began Anko. "I'm thinking this may be a bit of a mismatch."

"Hey, what the hell!" said Tenten. "That could have killed me!"

"I'm only using a fraction of my power," said Tobi. "And I can unsummon flames easily enough. You'd have lived."

"Fine then, two can play at that game," said Tenten, making a symbol with her hands.

"Forfeit now," said Tobi. "The rules say I can't kill you. They don't say I can't permanently cripple you."

"Have you looked down?" asked Tenten.

Naruto looked to Tobi's chest while he looked down. There, stuck inside his stomach, was a half-submerged explosive tag.

"Our information indicates you can survive to have your heart blown up by a Chidori," said Tenten. "You'll live."

And then the tag exploded.

Tobi screamed in horror as blood exploded from his chest, and he fell backward. Landing on the ground, he howled in agony as his entire torso was blown open. Yet even before their eyes, it began to heal, patching bone and flesh back together.

The crowd started cheering loudly.

"Amazing!" said Anko. "Tenten has blown Tobi's insides out of his body, but he's somehow still regenerating! This is so cool!"

Tenten sprang into action. Drawing out a scroll, she summoned four spears of steel. Surging into the air, she hurled all four in rapid succession. Three of them impaled Tobi's arms, pinning him down. One of his arms moved in time, even as he finished healing.

Then, backflipping into the air, Tenten surged downward with a flying kick.

Even as Tobi finished regenerating, Tenten slammed into him. The blow smashed him so hard that there was cracking from his arms. The earth broke and gave way beneath the strikes, creating a massive crater.

Tenten then body slammed Tobi. The impact smashed him further into the ground. Then Tenten kneeled on him and beginning to punch him. Tobi blocked one with his arm, and his arm broke and flew away from his useless.

The crowd was loving it.

Sakura cheered openly.

"And Tenten is on the offensive!" said Kurenai. "She's not giving Tobi any space to maneuver!"

And then one of Tenten's hands phased through Tobi. Before she could move, he deactivated his intangibility, trapping her in place. Ripping his broken arm from his body, Tobi began making hand signs in a blur.

Tenten ripped her hand out of his chest. She dragged his entrails with him as she leaped backward, covered in blood.

"I uh..." Kakashi paused. "I don't think this program is appropriate for children!"

"Crush him!" called Sakura. "Break his neck!"

Tobi roared in agony, his jutsu disrupted. Severing his own entrails, he leaped over a charge from Tenten. "Wind style: Hurricane of Blades!"

Down from the air above descended winds en masse. As they did, the earth was cleaved as though with blades. Converging on Tenten, she had nowhere to run as she took a stance. As she did, she closed her eyes.

Then the winds hit her from all sides. The earth around her was torn to shreds, leaving an immense crater. Yet as it cleared, Tenten was alive. Covered in scratches, but alive. And those scratches were already slowly healing.

"Is that all you've got?" asked Tenten.

The crowd went wild.

"Amazing! Now, this is what I call a match!" said Anko.

"Both contestants have sustained minor injuries," said Kurenai. "Now, the only question is, how far will this escalate before someone gives in?"

"What?!" said Tobi. "How could you... you're nobody. A worthless orphan with no bloodlines, no history, and no special powers."

"Tsunade taught me a lot of things," said Tenten. "She used her power to increase her strength and heal. But I figured out how to use it to harden my body to a point where almost nothing can hurt me."

Tobi shuddered in rage. "Well then, we'll see how-"

Then Tenten hurled five kunai at once. It shot toward Tobi, who went intangible. "A kunai and explosive tag?"

Then another kunai was thrown through him. Looking back, he saw it knock the other kunai in such a way as to send them around him. As they neared him, Tenten activated them.

Tobi leaped into the air, even as the explosive surrounded him. When he emerged, his robes were in tatters to reveal a scarred chest. Actually, it was like his entire body was scarred.

Even as he went upward, however, Tenten appeared over him. Before he could move, the masked man was smashed by two hands. Sent rocketing down, he caught himself and rolled away.

Tenten then came down, swinging a kunai and chain. "Try this on for size, Tobi!"

Swinging the chain, it shot toward Tobi. He caught it midswing and promptly had his arm explode. Leaping back, he nearly lost his head to the next swipe.

"Amazing! Tenten has Tobi on the ropes!" said Kurenai. "She appears to be using Tsunade's signature strength jutsu through a weapon!

"This is a remarkable advancement!"

Tenten was spinning her kunai, but Tobi moved and dodged it. Neither was able to hit the other, but both were expending chakra.

"What's the matter?!" asked Tenten. "Can't the big bad invincible wielder of the Senju and Uchiha powers compete with a little orphan girl?"

Everything halted. Tenten drew back her chain, though kept it at the ready.

"You..." Tobi halted. "How did you..."

"Teamwork," said Tenten with a shrug. "Kakashi sent a full report on your capabilities, and we analyzed it. We matched up your capabilities to be consistent with Hashirama and only Hashirama.

"So either you are Hashirama, or yosomehow yu ou stole Hashirama's DNA. I'm still fighting, so clearly you're not Hashirama. And since your right eye has a Sharingan in it, I figure you must have robbed some Uchiha eyes while you were at it.

"You went around robbing graves until you'd stolen all the most broken abilities. You got your eyes from the Uchiha, your body from Hashirama and um... well, I don't what your plan is, but I doubt you came up with it.

"So if everything that was cool about you was stolen from someone else that makes you... nobody special really."

"YOU BRAT!" roared Tobi surged forward.

Tenten swung her chain, but before she could move, Tobi had bypassed it. Bringing around a fist, he smashed her in the gut. Tenten spat out blood as she was thrown backward. "I was fighting in battles when you weren't born! I was killing experienced ninja when your insignificant whore of a mother was a child!

"How could any of you understand this world when you've existed your whole life under the Leaf!" Tenten tried to stand, only to be kicked away, sliding back to leave a trail of broken dirt. "You talk about the power of youth about friendship! But what are you really except a group of assassins in training?! Do you know how many villages your glorious Leaf Village has burned down in pursuit of 'peace?'

"Do you have even the faintest idea of the graveyards in the closet of your Hokage!"

Tenten surged forward again, but as she came, Tobi caught her punch. Turning the momentum of the blow, he sent her spinning away to crash into the shield. Tenten fell downward and barely managed to roll to a halt.

"Your precious Fourth Hokage made me and a thousand others like me. They threw us into the meatgrinder and called the ensuing mess peace." snarled Tobi. "This world is nothing but a pathetic lie! You just don't realize it because the history has been written with the Leaf as the heroes! Ask anyone outside the Land of Fire, and you'll hear a different story. Ask any Hidden Village, and you'll hear the opposite story!

"All of you are talking about the next war like it'll be some great story! But the stories that will be told will be lies! There are only villains, it's just that some of them are on opposite sides!

"I will fix that!"

"How?" asked Tenten, standing up.

"What?" asked Tobi.

"I was wondering, how are you going to fix everything?" asked Tenten. "Please tell me it's not to conquer the world like Hanzo. I think he did a pretty good job of refuting himself." Right, Hanzo was that guy who'd seized power 'for the sake of peace.' Then he'd initiated a bunch of bloody purges against 'enemies of the people.' He'd picked up dozens of mistresses and have huge feasts while people starved.

Then he closed himself off completely from the world.

"Of course not," said Tobi. "Empires rise and fall. They are no solution.

"Unfortunately, I can't explain the details to you. To do so would make the plan far harder to engineer."

"But what is the plan?" asked Tenten, looking around at the crowd. "Look, I'm sure you've got some great, super-complex plan to save the world. But it doesn't matter unless you can tell me what you are trying to achieve. If you can't sell your plan to the people you want to do it to, it isn't very good, is it?"

Tobi halted, and Naruto realized Tenten had gotten to him. At least enough that the man wanted to justify himself. "In short, I wish to give everyone what they want.

"Imagine a dream if you will. One that never ends where your heart's desire is granted to you. Think of the desires you possess in your heart of hearts, the ones you know to impossible. My plan will grant you, and every other person in existence that desire.

"I will grant the heart's desire to every person in the universe. All that live will be trapped within an eternal and unyielding jutsu. One that cannot be broken, there shall peace."

"Holy..." Tenten faltered. "So you're plan is to literally trap everyone in their own personal hell for all eternity!"

"Have you been paying attention?" asked Tobi.

"More than you have!" said Tenten. "Look... dreams are great, but they aren't real. They only become real by working for them. What you're doing is giving everyone what they want right away, without having to do anything to get it!

"I...

"What do you want, Tobi? Huh? Other than this evil plan of yours?

"Imagine that you were given it and without having to do anything to attain it. Right here, right now. What would you want next?"

"It does not matter," said Tobi. "What I desire is no longer part of this world."

"But you'd get it, or at least you'd think you'd get it," said Tenten. "Forever. How long until it loses its charm? When you achieve something you want, you want something else, don't you."

"Naturally, the dream would grant that as well," said Tobi.

"With no effort," said Tenten. "Getting what you want is only satisfying if you have to put in the work to get it. Look at you, you've got a Sharingan and Hashirama cells. But the abilities you make the best use of is that intangibility power.

"I'm guessing you had to learn that yourself. You're familiar with it.

"But...

"It's just a genjutsu. It's not actually real, and you won't ever really achieve those things. It's all a lie."

"And I suppose love and friendship will change the world instead," said Tobi.

"Yes!" said Tenten. "My friend, Neji, for years he was consumed in anger because of some really bad things that happened to him. But he became friends with Lee and me, and his life began to change. And when we met Naruto, and Naruto helped him, he changed even faster.

"He's helped other people, and in doing so got Naruto and me in contact with Lady Tsunade. And Lady Tsunade, she's got students now. She smiles a lot more than when I first met her, and her healing ninja help a lot of people every day.

"And that's just the changes I know about. Every person can change the world in a thousand different ways by doing one nice thing for somebody else.

"Our actions have meaning.

"Deal with it."

Tobi stiffened. At last, he took a stance. "...I think I'm done toying with you, girl."

"I'd hope so, I've been kicking your ass this entire time," said Tenten, taking her own stance.

"True," said Tobi. "But I've been observing your powers. And I'm fairly certain I can duplicate them."

"Cheating on your test with the Sharingan, huh?" asked Tenten.

"You've clearly never been to the Chunin Exams," said Tobi, dark amusement in his voice.

And then he made hand signs in an instant. "Earth Style: Rising Mountain!"

Beneath Tenten's feet and immense pillar of the earth grew out of the ground. Trying to keep her footing, she was left exposed as Tobi made new signs. "Water style: Flood of Ages!"

Water poured from his hands, soaking the earth and filling higher and higher. The clouds above darkened and began to rain down upon the shield. Tobi himself leaped upward as Tenten was left trapped in a place with water all around her. Quickly she drew out a scroll.

"You think I'm afraid of getting wet?" asked Tenten.

But Tobi was already making his hand signs from above. "Lightning style: Thunderbolt Spear!"

A spear of purest lightning appeared within Tobi's hand as he drew it back.

"Oh," said Tenten. "Oh shit."

Then two things happened. Tobi hurled his lightning spear, and Tenten hurled her kunai and chain. The bolt hit the chain, surging through it as it wrapped around Tobi's legs.  
But Tobi didn't scream this time. Merely shuddered as Tenten came from behind. Yet he turned around and was ready to match her. Tobi caught her punch in one hand, there was a crack, but he held her in place. Tenten broke free with a move. They exchanged blows as they descended, punching and kicking. With each blow, shockwaves were sent through the air.

And finally, they landed.

Tenten hit the ground, gasping for breath, while Tobi stood, injured but ready to fight.

"I see," said Kakashi. "Tsunade's techniques take significant chakra to maintain. Ordinarily, Tenten could pick and choose her attacks. However, here they were forced into a war of attrition. Clever."

The water faded, and the mountain crumbled.

"I..." Tenten faltered. "I forfeit."

"There is one flaw in the theory of hard work," said Tobi, ripping off a fractured arm and setting a broken leg. "No matter how hard you train, how much effort you put in, an Uchiha only needs to watch, you do it once. And they'll instantly do it better than you."

"...Well, boy am I glad Itachi wiped the clan out," said Anko after a moment. Boos came from the crowd. "Oh, what? You were all thinking it!"

Anko and Kurenai reappeared alongside medical teams.

"Tobi is the winner!" said Kurenai. "Don't worry about Tenten, she's okay folks.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what a spectacular fight! We'll be selling teeshirts, and the various combatants will be selling autographs! The next match will be at the same time the tomorrow!

For now, the contestants will not be allowed to leave the stadium in order to prevent cheating."

At that moment a... thing appeared from the ground and approached her. "Excuse me, I am not a contestant. Can I leave?"

"That depends, Zetsu, will you come back with an army of Akatsuki and kill us all?" asked Anko.

Zetsu paused. "...I might not."

"I don't believe you," said Anko.

"I suppose I will remain a spectator then," said Zetsu. "I suppose I'll go catch up with Orochimaru."

"See you tomorrow, folks!" said Ako. "If you're seeing this my remote ticket, remember to keep your schedules clear! Cause the next match is coming soon!"

The genjutsu faded.

"...That was awesome!" said Naruto. "The Leaf should do that kind of match more often?"

"Why don't we focus on completing our mission, Naruto?" said Kakashi. "Sasuke, did you get all that?"

"Yes," said Sasuke. "I've observed every technique used within with my Sharingan."

"Good," said Kakashi. "Just remember not to try any of those without first talking to me. It's a bit complicated, but the Sharingan has serious risks."

Sakura, however, looked depressed. "Tenten is only a little older than me, but... she's so much stronger."

"Yeah, that's your own fault," said Naruto.

"You don't have to rub it in," said Sakura. And she didn't hit him this time. Progress.

"No, I'm serious; in turns of base stats, Tenten is not actually that much higher than you," said Naruto. "She should be completely average at best. She's better than you because she kept on improving nonstop. Eventually, she ran into some opportunities to learn new abilities and took them. Then she used those powers creatively.

"Besides, she's a year ahead of you. If she's still leagues ahead of you a year from now, then you can complain. For now, just try to get better."

"She lost," noted Sasuke.

"The match yes," admitted Kakashi, "but she put up an excellent fight. More importantly, her loss provided valuable information to the Leaf Village. It also didn't cost us anything."

"Didn't Tobi learn to use Tsunade's special abilities, though?" asked Sakura. "I mean, he used the Sharingan."

"He had a very imperfect technique," said Kakashi. "He didn't channel his energy as well and wasted a lot of chakra. And he did himself an injury.

"I doubt he'll be able to use it without months of training. And that is with someone pointing out how to do it. Besides, it doesn't fit with his fighting style."

"But I thought the Sharingan lets you use any jutsu you look at," said Sakura.

"Sakura," said Sasuke, "if it were that easy, the Uchiha would rule the world. All we would need to do is copy from one another and copy from everyone else.

"When I see Naruto use his shadow clones, I can get a sense of how he does it. But if I were to try and create a thousand clones, it could burn out my chakra completely. I also wouldn't be as good at it since I would only have a general idea of how to do things.

"It's the difference between reading a book on taijutsu and practicing under a master."

"Yes, the Sharingan grants the ability to imitate any ability you see. However, it only imparts the technique. If you are incapable of performing the jutsu, you'll end up injuring yourself.

"We'll discuss the matter another time.

"For now, I've got other training you'll each be doing on the road. Understand?"

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei!" said Sakura and Naruto at once.

Naruto was pretty sure Team Guy would take out Tobi pretty soon. For now, though, at least they had some entertainment.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So, I've interpreted the Sharingan to have some limitations it did not have in canon. Or rather, which it was not outright stated to have in canon. I'm going to explain my motives here, in the hopes of avoiding being flamed like always happens when something 'bad' happens to their favorite character.

I'm not doing this because I want to nerf the Uchiha.

I'm doing this because if the Sharingan works as described with no drawbacks, then the entire logical basis for the series is invalid. The story of Naruto cannot happen with an unrestricted Sharingan in play.

If the Sharingan works as described in canon, then this is how the story ends:

Madara calls a meeting of his clan.

Madara shows off all his special abilities.

The rest of the Uchiha Clan watch with Sharingans activated.

Rinse and repeat with every other major Uchiha figure.

Instantly you have an entire army of people who can use Madara-level abilities to their maximum potential. They stomp the Senju, then stomp the world. Madara establishes a dystopia, and the Uchiha rule as gods until Orochimaru discovered genetic engineering and uses it to systematically eradiate the tyrants.

Now that could be an interesting story in itself. But it has no resemblance to the world we are presented with in canon. So clearly, there is something stopping the Uchiha from just copying everything they see. Since the Sharingan does not present infinite chakra or enhance your physical abilities, this seemed a logical restriction. You can't cast something you are physically incapable of casting.

I could write this entire fic pretending this wasn't a plot hole and hope nobody notices. But one of the themes of this fic is an intelligent use of the powers given to you. And it isn't as though they ever use the Sharingan in a way that disproves this limitation. Besides, I'd feel like I was cowering in fear of the people that flame me.

And I'm not willing to do that.

So, yeah. The Sharingan does not magically give you the chakra and physical capacity to do anything you look at. Tobi can do it because Tobi is broken as hell and has trained himself to a point where he can use any jutsu. Anyone else needs to train.

Deal with it.


	14. The Girl Behind the Curtain

**Chapter Fourteen: The Girl Behind the Curtain**

Tobi was escorted to a cell.

Well, actually escorted was the wrong word. So was the word cell. Instead, the ground beneath his feet caved inward. Tobi descended into a nightmarish, hellish dreamscape. Trapped in place, surrounded by vast walls of fire, he mulled things over.

He'd said far too much. But then, that girl should not have survived that long. He'd judged her abilities, and yet every time he almost defeated her...

Something happened.

There was a slight shift, and everything changed. It was faint, but it was light the girl had suddenly moved to a different place so he'd missed her. It had taken him by surprise, but he'd still stopped her attacks. Or so he thought, but then the blows landed in a different place than he'd prepared for.

Oh, he remembered Tenten attacking, but not why he'd taken the wrong guard.

It shouldn't have happened, and while he'd been reacting, she'd dealt him brutal damage. Some of her techniques had been genuinely creative, but they should not have stopped him. Or even slowed him down.

Eventually, he'd had to use a larger part of his chakra to try and take her down.

And still, everything she did landed in just the right way.

In came Zetsu, and Tobi glanced up. "You've returned."

"They are quite a bit stronger than expected, aren't they," said Zetsu.

"No, they aren't," said Tobi. "And you know it. I had that Tenten girl dead to rights dozens of times but...

"It was like something shifted every time I came near a winning move. Each time I did, she also coincidentally managed a nigh impossible and lethal blow. In a fair fight, I would have crushed her. Even so, I should have crushed her, but I was holding back, and she threw me off my game.

"What have you found out about the shield?"

"Well, it also extends into the ground," said Zetsu. "Orochimaru seems to have put a great deal of effort into it, almost as if he designed it to fight me."

"He probably did." mused Tobi. "Orochimaru was always the most intelligent of the Akatsuki. He would often force me to do degrading tasks as if to provoke a reaction. I suspect that he had some idea of my true nature.

"It is likely he taught the Sound Four to create this barrier in order to neutralize me.

"At the very least, I know that the crowd is but an illusion."

"What makes you say that?" asked Zetsu.

"I saw Team 7 among the bleachers," said Tobi. "I suspect that this entire arena is largely a genjutsu. One crafted to extraordinary lifelike qualities. Likely the 'audience' if it exists is observing from faraway places.

"Nothing in here feels real at all.

"It's as if I've wandered into a different universe. A place where things operate as the Leaf Village pretends they do. Someone has gone to an immense amount of trouble to set this up."

"Neji Hyuga?" asked Zetsu.

Why did he ask questions he already knew the answer to? "Perhaps.

"But his ability, I do not believe it could allow him to attain this level of power. Something is very wrong here. These... events could be made using my Sharingan. But there are not enough Sharingan wielders left alive to do this.

"There is some other explanation. Some parts of this mystery that is missing.

"Zetsu, find the Hyuga, and observe him. Now."

"As you wish," said Zetsu.

Then the shadow faded into the ceiling.

* * *

Zetsu made his way up through the ceiling.

Things were afoot now, shifting destinies and numerous changes. His master's policy clearly indicated the Hyuga must be kept alive, if possible. However, there were other, unexplained events. Like Tobi's spectacularly poor performance in the area.

"This shield is hell to maintain. How much energy have we had to drain to keep it up today?" asked one of the Sound Four, with a ponytail and eight arms.

"We've set up a system of chakra nets that drain small amounts of chakra from the surrounding region," said Jirobo, walking with him. "It's harmless, as long as we finish this quickly."

"Yeah, well operating this thing gives me a headache," said Kidomaru. "Any news on-"

And then there was a sound of retching, and they picked up their pace. Moving into an inner room, Zetsu followed them. Beyond, he saw Neji Hyuga on his hands and knees, spitting out copious amounts of blood on the floor. Medical ninja were around him, using spells.

"What's going on?" said Tenten, rushing in the other door. "Neji, are you alright? Come on, let me heal you."

"I'm fine, I'll be fine in time for the match." snapped Neji, trying to pull himself up.

"Rest," said Kurenai, "you don't have to do anything."

An auburn-haired girl was on the far side of the room, painting. And before her, a window appeared showing a vast, hellish landscape. Looking, Zetsu saw that it was what she had been painting. Well worth considering.

"What happened to him? How could this kind of this-" began Tenten.

"What do you think happened?" asked Kurenai. "Neji has been cooperating with Yakumo in order to change the past present and future. He allows her to use her genjutsu to alter reality at critical places to gain victory. But he has to be constantly scanning and pulling the possibilities to make sure you made it out okay.

"You would have been unconscious in a mere instant if it hadn't been for us. At best."

"He's that strong?" asked Tenten.

"Yes," said Kurenai. "He doesn't fully understand the genjutsu he is facing, he may not even be aware of the genjutsu. He is holding back, and yet...

"Well, he would have killed you if it weren't for the rules. With or without our help."

"Guy-sensei, what do you think about all this?" asked Lee, looking up.

Guy remained silent, where he was meditating. Some ways away, Anko was playing solitaire. "Neji's plan is a desperate gamble. I was looking at his movements, and I suspect he is stronger than any of the Legendary Sanin. I'm not sure I can beat him, even if we wear him down."

"No one is stronger than Lord Orochimaru," said Sakon.

"And no one can defeat you, Guy-sensei!" said Lee.

"How does this reality-warping technique work anyway?" asked Kidomaru. "You mentioned something about belief?"

"That was a lie," admitted Neji, who was being treated now. "I didn't want him finding out about Yakumo. I-"

"Let me explain, okay," said Kurenai quickly. "Neji has the ability to perceive different moments in time. Yakumo has the ability to create genjutsu that become reality.

"By implanting some of his chakra into her, Neji can guide Yakumo to change events."

Yakumo switched pictures, and a wall slid aside. As it did, Zetsu saw dozens of different pictures of the battle. Had she been drawing the events before they happened? Or had she painted them with genjutsu as they occurred? Or was it something else?

"Guy, we ought to cut this plan now," said Kurenai. "This was a dangerous bluff, to begin with. We had to warp reality sixteen separate times to keep Tenten in the fight. Even that was only the major alterations.

"If this goes on, one of your students will be killed for sure. If not all of you."

"Don't be silly, Kurenai-sensei," said Yakumo, suddenly standing mere inches away from Kurenai. "I can just change things, so they don't happen. This shield makes it really easy to do my illusions. I can make whatever you want me to make."

"Yes," said Kurenai, "but by doing that, you are burning through Neji's chakra. You've got to tone down these illusions, Yakumo. The strain of this operation could kill him."

"If you want, Kurenai-sensei," said Yakumo, before walking away.

"...That girl is fucking creepy," said Sakon, suddenly.

Guy remained silent for a long time. Anko won her game. "We still have some time for the next match, and our efforts burned a lot of chakra from him. And, if we do call things off, Tobi will attack us directly, or go after Team 7.

"Neji, do you feel capable of going on?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I just..." Neji looked a bit better now. "It's nothing."

"Good," said Guy, standing up. "Then we're going to have to take things up a notch for the next match. Jirobo, I've got an idea that could tilt the odds in Lee's favor."

"What is it?" asked Jirobo.

"Not here," said Guy. "We wouldn't want to ruin the surprise. We'll discuss it outside the shield." Guy tried to smile, but it didn't come to his lips. "Keep up the good work, all of you!"

Zetsu had seen enough and headed right back to Tobi.

* * *

Zetsu was always reliable.

He came down through the ceiling and spoke at once. "Tobi, I have learned many things.

"It appears that Neji Hyuga is creating this illusion by cooperating with a girl named Yakumo. She seems to possess some ability to change reality with her genjutsu."

That threw Tobi for a loop. It was something that had been happening a lot more than he liked these days. "...What?"

"I could hardly believe it when I heard it, as well," said Zetsu. "The good news is that there is a way to escape this shield. Guy used it. And I do not believe the Legendary Sannin are actually here."

Tobi considered that last part and what he knew of the three of them. He'd made great care to understand his enemies. "I thought as much.

"Orochimaru might have gone along with such a thing. But I expect Tsunade and Jiraiya would have talked him into just killing me in an ambush. And if they could have been gathered to this location so quickly, why not just ask them for help?

"No.

"This a very cunningly put together illusion, I will admit. I almost bought it myself. This Yakumo girl, was she adversely affected?"

"No, she seemed to be suffering no ill effects at all," said Zetsu. "It seems that within the bounds of the shield, her power is far easier to use. Or she believes as much."

"Of course," said Tobi, calculating. "We are operating an independent subspace at the moment. So it would be less difficult to warp reality. And if I were to use my own ability, I could likely do it for more than ten minutes.

"But, of course, this situation could be used to our advantage.

"What of Neji?" The boy had proven a formidable opponent, to set all this up.

"He appears to have had the worst of it," said Zetsu. "From what I can gather, his role was to direct Yakumo to what she should change to ensure Tenten's victory. I gather he was very hard put to it."

"So, he has been warping reality our entire fight to ensure I could not win?" Tobi laughed despite himself. "Well played, boy. I never realized how infuriating that technique was from the outside. Though I've rarely had to use it.

"But I can now leave when I will. I could probably break out of here by using my eye to disrupt the shields around me. Given the ease with which reality can be warped in this place, the strain may not even blind me. Still... I believe there may be potential benefits to remaining in this trap.

"Zetsu, find a way out of here. Once you do, meet up with the other Akatsuki."

Zetsu shifted. "You intend to remain?"

"Now that I know the Legendary Sanin aren't actually here, I can fight with impunity," said Tobi. "So if things do go against me, I can always kill them all. And I want to test the limits of this girl's ability in a controlled fashion.

"Depending on how her abilities operate, she could provide an alternative. It is conceivable that the Eye of the Moon Plan will become untenable."

"What do you mean?" asked Zetsu, who was very attached to that plan.

"Perception is reality," said Tobi. "Change perception and you change reality. But Yakumo has taken this a step further. At any rate, we need to know what she is capable of."

Zetsu nodded but seemed concerned. "Very well, then.

"Good luck, Tobi."

Then he faded away.

Tobi looked at his now healed injuries. He was no stranger to pain, but that had been a level of damage he hadn't taken in years. If he could observe these illusions in a controlled experiment, he could achieve his goal that much easier.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This chapter is dedicated to all those fans who felt the past few chapters were a bit too crackish.


	15. New Dispatch

**Chapter Fifteen: New Dispatch**

Kakazu was reading in his study while he counted down the minutes.

If he left right now, he'd end up in the meeting room early. Ordinarily, he'd be counting his money, but it didn't give him as much pleasure as it used to. When Pain had put him in charge of finances, Kakazu had been ecstatic, but now the gold had lost its luster.

Now he didn't know what to do.

Kakazu had put his faith in money, it was the only thing you really could put faith in. And it hadn't let him down. At first, he'd pursued money to pay the bills, and after the Senju were wiped out, he focused on getting more of it. Now he had so much money he couldn't possibly spend it. Not without indulging in excesses, a ninja should avoid anyway.

It was odd.

And then that idiot Hidan entered the room, carrying his scythe into the library. "Hey, Kakazu, you've been cooped up in here for days. You really gonna spend your leave doing paperwork?"

Kakazu snarled as he shut the book. "This is not paperwork. I am reading."

"Well, what's so interesting?" asked Hidan, sitting down across from him and setting down his scythe. He still hadn't changed out of his robes.

"Just some old ledgers I found under the desk," said Kakazu, setting the book onto the stack. "Back from before I joined Pain. There isn't much to say. Just a series of failures." Failures? How were those failures? He'd achieved his mission and gotten paid, why would he think of them as failures?

Hidan grabbed one of the books and read through it, raising an eyebrow. "Broke a Senju girl's skull while she was taking shelter at an altar. Ripped out and Uchiha's eyes to sell for 200$. Shot Madara in the back for free. How many times did you do that?"

"Somewhere between several and too many times," said Kakazu. "For all the hype, Madara was an idiot. Because he was so powerful, he assumed he was invincible and was easy to ambush. Kind of like you, actually.

"And his heavy-handed arrogance alienated all the other clans in the Leaf. He played right into Tobirama's hands. The minute Hashirama left the stage, Madara lost most of his power.

"It was a hobby." Kakazu realized he was smiling for the first time in a very long time. When had he gotten casual with this moron?

Hidan kept reading. "Wiped out a stronghold for 1000$, piled their heads in piles.

"Roasted an entire village for 500$.

"Dueled Hashirama inconclusively, spent 1200$ regaining lost power."

"I would have won that if one of his girlfriends hadn't begged him not to get hurt," muttered Kakazu. He hadn't had a chance to kill that one.

"Butchered a Lord and his entire family. Hung their rotting carcasses from the walls of their keep for 50$-" Hidan spluttered. "They paid you fifty bucks for regicide? That's way below your paygrade, Kakazu! I mean... not that I care about money or anything."

"The war ended," said Kakazu with a sigh. "Working freelance in a time of peace means you can't pick and choose. Even I have to eat. I once nearly starved to death, after I burned down my village. After that day, I vowed with money as my witness. I'd never go hungry again.

"In the ninja world, it's not how about how you live. It's about how much you get paid for making other people stop living." Kakazu leaned back in his seat and looked at one of his hands. A layer of skin surrounding black tendrils, the remnants of humanity cast aside. Sooner or later, getting more hearts wouldn't be enough, and he would die. "Looking back, I've been living hand to mouth my entire life. I've only just managed to start saving up for a retirement I'll never see.

"In the grand scheme of things, my profits have been insignificant."

Hidan smiled. "No way, Kakazu. These hits are a thing of beauty. Every kill you've made here is made with a devotion not even a follower of Jashin could equal. Ever consider converting?"

Kakazu blinked. "Killing for its own sake?"

"Oh come on, you look me in the eye and tell me you've never enjoyed a kill," said Hidan. "You don't have to join the priesthood, Jashin doesn't mind his followers having their vices.

"You kill people all the time, Kakazu. Might as well do it for God and make it official."

"...Hypothetically," said Kakazu after a moment. "If a massive Church of Jashin were to spring up, you might have donations. And you'd need someone to handle all the money."

"Well, monks are supposed to live lives unchained by worldly burdens," said Hidan. "But I guess the priesthood would need someone to take care of finances. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," said Kakazu. "I suppose there's no home in getting some insurance."

"Great," said Hidan, reaching into his robe and drawing out a golden symbol, like the one he wore. "Catch!"

Kakazu caught the symbol as it hurtled toward him and looked at it oddly. How much was this thing worth anyway? If he melted it down, he could probably make a lot of coins out of it. "What's this?"

"Emblem of Jashin. Made from real gold," said Hidan. "My village used to worship them, back in the day, but they sold out their faith for peace and plenty. I had a devil of a time finding the symbol, and when I did, well, my village and I disagreed.

"Anyway, I had this one made for you just now. I use a steel one, but I figured gold was more your thing."

"Idiot," said Kakazu, but he realized he didn't mean it.

He wasn't going to melt this down. Gold was still valuable, even if it was in necklace form. And Kakazu didn't want to listen to Hidan complain. Their partnership was... valuable, worth its weight in gold.

"Alright, I'll see myself out," said Hidan.

As they turned, however, they saw Konan standing before them, flanked by ninja. Judging by their eyes, these ninja had serious protection on their minds. You could tell when someone had been really worked over by Konan's mental precautions. They looked just a bit dead inside.

"Hidan, Kakazu, Pain is calling a meeting of the Akatsuki," said Konan.

"Great," said Hidan.

Konan led Hidan and Kakazu through the halls of their headquarters in the Land of Rain. Outside, Kakazu could see the rain pouring as strong as ever, but it had changed tempo just slightly. It was a code from Pain, which ninja were trained to recognize.

'Ninja intruder has infiltrated palace, remain calm. Search, make no sign of alarm.' Roughly translated.

Pain was planning something overcomplicated, wasn't he?

Following Konan, Kakazu heard scuttling and saw a mouse walking through the halls. Only it seemed on a closer glance to be like something drawn on paper. As if it were a picture come to life. Stepping back he raised a foot to crush it-

Konan caught him by the shoulder. "Leave the creature to the cats. Hanzo's representative awaits."

Wonderful, so now they were pretending Hanzo was still alive. Which meant Konan was using the guards like marionettes to ensure they played the part. Why was she even bothering? All you'd need to do to prove that wrong was talking to a few people in the streets.

They had probably gone straight to the palace.

At last, they got into the room, and the mouse followed behind. It was spartan, with a round table at the front. Itachi and Kisame were already there, the Uchiha and Shark-faced ninja standing together. Opposite from them were the images of Sasori and Deidara. Both holding tickets in their illusionary hands. And across from Kakazu stood Pain.

The orange-haired man was as pale as ever and hadn't changed any of the metal piercings within his face. His eyes gaze Kakazu the chills, as usual, and he was without expression. Konan quickly took her place by him, while Kakazu and Hidan stepped forward.

"Greetings, all of you," said Pain, his voice dark and deep. "Some of you may already be aware that Tobi has been captured by the Leaf."

"What?" said Kisame, usual smile fading. "Shouldn't we go rescue him?"

"The circumstances of his capture are somewhat different from normal, Kisame," said Pain. "It has also led to some revelations about who Tobi truly is.

"Take this." And he drew out a number of tickets, seven in number. Six of them were passed around.

"A ticket?" asked Kisame.

"Yes," said Pain. "The Leaf Village dispatched one here to Hanzo."

"Isn't he that guy you killed," said Hidan. "Alongside his family, his servants, and his subordinates."

"Also, that one guy he tipped at a ramen stand," said Deidara.

Konan put her head in both her hands as a groan went throughout the group. Trust Hidan to forget the codes to the rain and completely miss the subtext.

"To become a god, one cannot be a known quantity," replied Pain simply. "Hanzo and his associates needed to be wholly eradicated for a new age to dawn." Well, he was taking this in stride.

"Nobody is judging Pain, we admire your work," said Hidan.

"I don't," snapped Kakazu.

"Are you still pissed off about losing your investments, Kakazu?" asked Deidara.

"Yes," said Kakazu, who'd invested most of his savings into Hanzo's regime.

"Alright, everyone except Kakazu admires Pain's work," said Deidara.

"This is getting away from the point," said Konan.

"Right, yeah, Pain's right," said Deidara. "Tobi is as good as dead. We all now owe Sasori fifty bucks. On the bright side, this means our plan is going perfectly."

"I don't owe Sasori anything. Gambling is a sin," muttered Hidan.

"Fine, everyone except Hidan owes Sasori fifty bucks," said Deidara.

Everyone looked to Pain, who held their gaze. "You have a question?"

"Aren't you going to pay up, Pain?" asked Kisame.

"As a god, I transcend such meaningless concepts as money," said Pain. "Konan, deal with this."

Konan quickly took out her wallet and put a hundred bills on the table in front of Deidara as the other did the same. Itachi was looking just a bit out of touch and impassive.

"Getting your girl to pay for you?" asked Deidara. "Not very classy."

"The point, Deidara, is that Tobi is still alive," said Konan. "And is presenting fighting in bloodsports for the amusement of thousands of citizens. Tickets like these have been sold to numerous households."

"Are you... sure that it was the Leaf who captured him?" asked Hidan.

"Quite," said Pain. "These tickets should provide context."

So they watched the fight. It was... enlightening, to say the least. Tobi demonstrated powers far beyond what he should have been capable. And that girl should not have been able to defend against them. Somehow the fight was being rigged.

Kisame looked a bit confused and betrayed. "...Pain, did you know about this?"

"Yes," said Pain.

"And you didn't tell us?" asked Kisame.

"Tobi and I have been, up until now, equal partners," said Pain. "I act as the face of the organization, gathering the various members of the Akatsuki. Konan manages the day to day affairs in the Land of the Rain, while Tobi deals with less... savory elements.'

"You mean in case any of us betrayed you?" guessed Sasori. Why had he been so silent?

"Yes," said Pain. "So long as Tobi was playing the part of a buffoon, he would be overlooked. And so he could be used to head off any conflict within the Akatsuki. In addition, Zetsu was brought to this organization by him. That alone is a significant asset."

"I don't appreciate being lied to, Pain," said Kisame.

"At what point have I told you anything about Tobi's nature?" asked Pain. "Each of you are free to make your own judgments in pursuit of our mutual goals. Whatever they may be. Konan."

Konan nodded and drew out a folder. "In any case, this requires us to adjust our strategy. If Tobi were to be captured, it would present serious problems. He's already compromised information we'd have preferred to keep hidden.

"As such, as Kisame suggested, a rescue seems to be in order."

"Why bother?" asked Hidan. "They're in a tournament. If he wins, he'll go free."

"Until Orochimaru, Tsunade and Jiraiya launch an attack and wipe him out while he's weak," said Konan. "We can expect the Leaf to be moving their strongest hitters into position while he is occupied."

"We are in no position to launch an invasion of the Leaf," said Konan. "While our combined might would likely yield us a victory, we've detected whispers.

"My contacts indicate that Sarutobi has been speaking with the other villages. He's trying to set up a coalition against us."

"Itachi, perhaps you could be of use to us here," said Pain. "You are the Leaf's double agent, after all."

"Itachi's a double agent?" asked Hidan.

"Idiot," said Kakazu. "Haven't you been paying attention?"

"Not really, to be honest," said Hidan. "Faith doesn't require intellect."

"I can see that," said Kakazu, reconsidering the emblem in his pocket.

"Look, nobody said Itachi was sending information to the Leaf!" said Hidan.

"Suffice to say that it benefits us for Itachi to have some contact with his old home," said Pain. "He provides information to the Leaf about our operations. And he ensures that they think of us what we want them to think of us."

"So what did he say?" asked Hidan.

"I told them that the Akatsuki consisted of nine members, two of whom were myself were Kisame," said Itachi.

Dead silence ensued.

"Also, I mentioned that Orochimaru used to be a member," said Itachi.

"You are the worst informant I've ever seen!" said Hidan incredulously.

"That's a little harsh. None of that was wrong, Hidan," said Deidara.

"But it completely misrepresents our threat!" said Hidan. "Sure, we're nine ninja, but we're all S ranked! Any one of us could take out an army or two by ourselves! And Pain is the God-King of an entire nation which they THINK is working for them!"

"Which is precisely the point," said Pain. "The Leaf believed that Yahiko's death was the end of us. When news came of the Akatsuki rising again, there was some concern. Itachi providing some concrete information to them was enough to satisfy them. Thus causing them to focus on other, apparently more important matters for years.

"Since we were apparently only working as mercenaries and not expanding our numbers. The Sound Village was the main threat. In fact, that was why I supported Orochimaru, creating it in the first place. It was my hope that he would destroy the Leaf and neutralize the Great Nations' ability to act against us.

"With his apparent full defection, Sasori has engineered his own plan."

"And what plan is that?" asked Hidan.

"The Shipping Magnet Gato is an employer of many rogue ninja. He has been operating for years as a subordinate to the Root Organization," said Sasori. "He hires rogue ninja to take care of jobs that the Leaf cannot be seen performing directly. However, he was aware that he'd be removed as soon as he outlived his usefulness. So Gato has been working to establish his own power base.

"In so doing, he has run afoul of the Root Foundation.

"Now, Kakashi Hatake has been dispatched to assassinate him."

"So why do we care?" asked Hidan.

"Gato has been working for Root for years," said Sasori. "To get that far in the black market, Gato would have to know his business partners. He has access to an immense amount of knowledge. If brought to light, it could utterly discredit the Leaf Village.

"If Gato were to reveal everything he has been doing on behalf of Root, it could bring down the Leaf Government. Murder, bribery, extortion, all the things that Sarutobi doesn't want to come to light.

"We need only pull the right strings, and he'll confess everything."

"Yeah, great," said Hidan. "But even if Gato did surrender, Kakashi would eighty-six him anyway. He's there to kill the guy."

"No," said Pain. "He's there to 'liberate' the Land of Waves. To solve a problem that the Leaf created and be hailed a hero.

"The Leaf Village has been living two lives.

"The product of one is Tenten, cheerful, heroic, and believing in the power of friendship and hard work. In that life, the Leaf Village defends. They never attack and try to work through problems diplomatically. One generation passes the torch to the other.

"The other life strips away the mask. What you have instead is a genocidal, power-hungry regime. On that will stop at nothing to preserve its own existence. However, people like Kakashi and Team Guy do not know they are a mask.

"They think they are what the Leaf really is.

"So if faced with the prospect of an evil drug lord reforming and handing over information on an even more evil conspiracy...

"They will simply accept it."

Hidan blinked. "...Huh, that's actually pretty poetic. Destroyed by the thing they are pretending to be.

"So are we gonna kill this ANBU black ops guy or what?"

"I've just located him," said Konan.

Then she threw a dagger to cut the mouse in half and disappeared into many fragments of paper. Hidan blinked. "So, uh, why are we saying all this in front of the ANBU black ops?"

"A revelation of this scale will unnerve the Leaf," said Pain. "When wicked men become panicked, they do foolish things. And we were sure to come out into the open soon enough.

"Konan will kill the ANBU squad and let the spy get away."

And he turned to walk away. As he did, he reached down and drew up another ink mouse. Looking directly into its eyes, he spoke. "Machines will never compare to men.

"Wait a minute," said Hidan. "If they reveal your plans, won't they kill Gato before he makes a statement?"

"My will cannot be thwarted," said Pain. "The Leaf will destroy itself before we ever need set foot in it." Just as men will never compare to gods." And he crushed the mouse and turned away. "I will have orders for each of you. For now, make what preparations you must."

And he walked out the opposite door.

"So, are we going to do something about this?" asked Hidan.

"...I could go for some seafood, down in the city," said Kisame after a moment.

"Great, we'll get fish and chips," said Hidan. "Itachi, you coming?"

"I am," said Itachi.

"Shouldn't we do something about Tobi pulling the wool over our eyes for years?" asked Kakazu.

"Who cares?" asked Hidan. "Deal with the moment, without concern for the future."

Kakazu was sure there was some elaborate conspiracy behind all this he could uncover, but he... really, really didn't care. Fish and chips sounded nice, though. Pity about having to spend money on it.


	16. Tobi Vs Rock Lee

**Chapter Sixteen: Tobi Vs. Rock Lee**

Tobi was waiting for his second match, and he was sick of waiting. Zetsu appeared next to him as usual, and Tobi glanced at him. "I've come to a decision, Zetsu."

"What is it?" asked Zetsu.

"I'm going to go easy on the next one," said Tobi.

"Why?" asked Zetsu.

"Given the state my battle with Tenten put Neji in. A repeat performance could seriously injure him," said Tobi. "As such, I will simply wear them down."

"That seems wise," said Zetsu. "If he dies, he will be of no use to us at all."

"Tobi, we may have a problem," said Zetsu.

"What is it?" asked Tobi.

"The Sharingan hypnotizes by sending your chakra into the person," said Zetsu. "While a visual jutsu work, I do not believe you will be able to achieve any kind of longterm result."

"You need not concern yourself Zetsu," said Tobi. "The Hyuga will want to be able to gaze through my eyes. It is the logical step for him to take in his battle since it will make me his unknowing spy. That will establish a bond between us, and that hypothetical bond may bridge the gap."

"It is only a hypothetical, truth be told. It is impossible to know who will have been victorious until the results come about," said Tobi. "It is a calculated risk, but one well worth taking." Then he summoned something from his own dimension. Raising it, he passed it over to Zetsu. "Now, I have a task for you. Take this, Sharingan.

"That Yakumo girl. Find her and hypnotize her. Once she is under our control, we will be the gods of this particular world."

Zetsu nodded and faded away.

Then Tobi rose and waited as the dimension peeled away, and he once again found himself in the arena. Someone had changed the sky, so it looked like it was raining fire, and the seats had been changed to be like black stone. All very dramatic.

And there was Kurenai, standing back to back with Anko. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Ninjamania! Today we have a very special showdown for you! In the one corner, the invincible masked ninja of incredible power and prowess, I give you... TOBI!"

"Tobi! Tobi!" chanted some of the crowd.

How heartwarming, he had a fanbase.

"And in the other corner, the green blur, a genius of hard work and a lot more," said Kurenai. "I give you... ROCK LEE!"

A green blur surged out of the seats and landed before Tobi. Rock Lee held two long staff in his hands and spun them around with expert skill.

"Wonderful," said Tobi, taking a stance.

"But, a series of fights with no variation is boring!" said Anko. "So, we're going to be having some special rules today!" She unrolled a scroll and unleashed it. Before them stood a wheel of black wood with the symbols of jutsu on it. 'Kurenai, you ready!"

"Yes, we're about to roll the wheel," said Kurenai. "Whatever it lands on will be a special effect that will change the outcome of the battle..." Then Kurenai spun it around and around.

"1...

"2...

"3...

"Go!" cried Anko.

The wheel spun rapidly, gradually slowing down little by little. Eventually, it halted on the symbol of chakra drain. So they meant to use Jirobo's special ability, then?

"Chakra draining earth, folks!" said Anko. "From now on, anyone who is standing on the ground will be getting their chakra drained. The more they have, the faster it'll burn."

So, they meant to give him a disadvantage disguised as a random event. Very clever. Obviously, they'd learned from the last showdown.

Tobi took a stance an prepared to spring forward.

"On your mark, get set..." began Anko.

He'd have to make this convincing.

"Go!" said Kurenai

Rock Lee plunged the staff into the ground and vaulted forward, lunging with it. At the same time, Tobi sprang upward. Lee stabbed the staff into the round, set his feet on it, and sprang upward. Tobi moved aside from a flurry of lunges, surprised at how fast he really was for his age. He'd faced adult ninja veterans with a fraction of this speed.

Tobi caught the staff and used Lee's own momentum to throw him downward. But as he fell, Lee hurled a kunai at the ground and landed on it. Springing back onto his own staff, he balanced there. Tobi stabbed his pole into the ground and balanced on that.

"Amazing folks!" said Kurenai. "Rock Lee and Tobi are both avoiding touching the ground by balancing on their own weapons. This is a stunning start!"

It would be a stunning finish as well, but then Tobi remembered that he had to stall. So he took a long time moving around. "Earth Style: Headhunter Jutsu!"

"How do you intend to use such a technique while in the air?" asked Rock Lee.

"Who says I'm the one using it?" asked Tobi.

"What..." Rock Lee looked down, and his pole sank into the earth. Rock Lee sprang upward and turned the movement into a flying kick. But Tobi surged out of the way easily into the air. Rock Lee maneuvered and surged up after him.

"Contrary to popular belief, the Headhunter Jutsu does not have to be used on the one casting it," said Tobi. "It is little more than a nonlethal way of submerging into the ground. With proper application, it can be used to create a makeshift mud pit."

"An impressive deception," said Rock Lee, bringing up his pant leg. Beneath were revealed training weights. "However, I am not without advantages of my own."

"Training weights?" asked Tobi. "Sure you should have taken those-"

Rock Lee threw the training weights at him, and Tobi got hit straight in the chest. It took the wind out of him, and he fell rapidly toward the ground. Rock Lee was pursuing even now with a flying kick. So he was to hit the ground and then be hit with a flying kick.

Tobi rapidly changed his stance, however. "Windstyle: Whirlwind Jutsu!"

A whirlwind of air descended to throw both of them into the air, Rock Lee flailing wildly. Tobi, however, controlled his weight to move to the top. And then several tags were thrown up near his face.

"Explosive tags?" said Tobi.

Then there was a flash, and he was blinded. Unable to see properly, he closed his eyes and sensed. Lee was coming up toward him now, bringing around a roundhouse kick.

"I have you!" cried Lee.

Tobi blocked it, shifting, kicking, and striking to conserve chakra. Then he caught Lee by the leg and spun him around, before hurling him down to earth. Lee plummetted, and Tobi pursued. As he did, however, Lee revealed weights on his arms. He drew them off and threw them.

Tobi smashed them aside, and they shattered, releasing liquid.

Medical liquid.

Instantly Tobi's body began to go slack as he lost control of his muscles. Fortunately, Tobi had already prepared a countermeasure. Initially, the puppetmaster jutsu, he laced threads throughout his arms and legs. In so doing, he straightened his stance and continued his assault. He struck Lee across the arena.

As his feet neared the ground, Tobi then drew out a kunai. He turned in midair, plunged his blade into it, and did a handstand upon it. Throwing two others, he let himself fall backward and stood atop them.

Tobi was actually impressed that Lee had managed a similar feat. Neither of them had even touched the ground since the match began.

"I see," said Rock Lee. "So, you have developed an immunity to medical sedation."

"Don't be foolish," said Tobi, "that kind of immunity takes time. And is not desirable. I might, at some point, need to undergo surgery, and such tolerance could be my death.

"No, I merely compensated for my lack of motor control with puppetmaster jutsu.

"But the puppetmaster jutsu is a power of the Sand, and you have no puppet!" said Rock Lee.

"The puppetmaster jutsu is merely a means of manipulation," said Tobi. "based more on the minds than hands. So I trained myself to use my own body as a puppet, should I be debilitated."

"Perhaps you have, but such a thing has surely not happened often, so the advantage is still mine!" said Rock Lee.

"For whatever it is worth," said Tobi.

When was Zetsu going to finish his mission? This had been... entertaining, but Tobi was getting tired of it. Both of them drew out kunai and hurled them to create a path across the mud. They ran toward one another and sparred back and forth. They were kicking, punching, and hurling kunai to create new pathways. It was all quite entertaining.

"Amazing!" said Kurenai. "Rock Lee and Tobi are fighting eachother above the ground! They are actually leaping from kunai and staff to keep from having their energy drained! I've never seen anything like this!"

"It's not that great," said Anko.

"Quiet Anko!" said Kurenai.

Finally, Tobi halted and raised a hand. "I must admit, you are a formidable opponent. However, you seem to rely entirely on taijutsu and tools. It is possible you are holding back, however. I suspect that you focus entirely on these abilities because you lack the others."

"You are perceptive," said Rock Lee. "I have turned my disadvantage into an asset. Because I cannot do ninjutsu or genjutsu, I may focus my full power into taijutsu."

"An efficient use of resources," said Tobi. "Unfortunately, such a strategy does not account for hard counters to taijutsu. Such as genjutsu."

Then he activated his Sharingan. Rock Lee looked down at once at Tobi's feet and launched an assault. Tobi was forced to defend and could not make eye contact at all, though it wasn't precisely hard. Lee was a skilled opponent, but out of his depth.

Better than Tenten, certainly.

Tobi had to admit, the injuries he'd sustained had not been entirely the reality-warping. His own discounting of her as a legitimate threat had caused him to let his guard down. He'd burned far more chakra than he ought to have. All because he had ignored the people he was fighting as irrelevant.

That Tenten's perspective had been... troubling, however.

Still, how had Lee learned to fight purely based on looking at his feet? It was an odd, but effective, counter to the Sharingan. Though it made no difference.

"You realize I'm toying with you, don't you?" asked Tobi.

"So long as I continue to stand, I will continue to fight until I find a way," said Rock Lee.

"Interesting theory," said Tobi as they separated. The illusion around them had changed, subtly, small alterations. Showing that the mindset of the one making the genjutsu had changed. Even now, he saw the crowd's images becoming faceless. "And what exactly happens if I don't play along?"

"Then I shall defeat you anyway!" said Rock Lee.

"I'm afraid not. You are fast for one your age," said Tobi. "I must confess, this has been entertaining. However, your cheat system has just about let its guard down."

Tobi got serious. He surged forward with a knockout blow to the back of Lee's neck. No reality-warping happened to interfere.

"Incredible!" said Kurenai. "Tobi has defeated Rock Lee! I repeat! Tobi has defeated Rock Lee!

"Now-" Suddenly, chains emerged from the floor to grab her arms. A birdcage emerged around her, even as Tobi teleported over to her and snatched the mike.

"What?" said Kurenai.

"I must say, I'm impressed," said Tobi. "This has been a very entertaining set of mind games to unravel. However, I think now is right about the time I played some back." Zetsu appeared behind him with Yakumo staring at Kurenai with empty eyes. "This arena, and the illusions creating it, are now...

"Mine."

The look on her face was priceless.


	17. Old Friends

**Chapter Seventeen: Old Friends**

Kakashi had been thinking.

Guy's frankly nuts idea for Ninjamania had given him a lot of information about Tobi and who he was. He'd been trying to process all of it. That was difficult to do between watching for the Akatsuki and training his genin.

Something about it all didn't add up. Now, as he walked down a hill toward the distant seashore, he was trying to do the numbers.

"Kakashi-sensei, can we slow down here?" asked Naruto. "We already missed the last episode of Ninjamania."

"We can watch the episode when we have time, Naruto," said Kakashi, glancing back. "Each ticket has a recording on it if you miss it. For now, we have to stay focused on getting to the Land of Waves."

"But I wanted to watch it live," said Naruto.

"Relax, Naruto, we'll probably have a lot more spare time when we get to the Land of Waves," said Sakura. "From what I've read, guard duty involves a lot of boredom."

"So does building a bridge," grunted Tazuna.

Kakashi said nothing; he needed to think.

"So um, Kakashi-sensei, mind if I ask you something?" asked Sakura.

Kakashi sighed and looked up. Why had he decided to take them on this trip? Pure logic meant he ought to have turned back. But somehow, things had worked out this way. "Not at all, what is it?"

"What happened to the rest of your team?" asked Sakura. "I mean, I've read about the Fourth Hokage, and I know his team were legendary. Your exploits were one of the reasons he was able to become Hokage.

"But I...

The records are really scrambled. I couldn't find anything about what happened to them and...

"I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Don't worry about it, Sakura," said Kakashi. "You have a right to know. Obit and Rin, they...

"They died, one by one. The trouble started during the war, Obito, Rin, and I were dispatched on a mission together. However, Rin was kidnapped by enemy agents. I wanted to go on to our objective, Obito wanted to head after her. At the time, I'd assumed that they wouldn't hurt her since she was a medical ninja.

"Obito wasn't convinced, though. We argued, and Obito went off on his own. I almost went off on my own, but...

"I decided to go back to them. I... well it was something he'd said to me. Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than scum.

"I followed him and found him about to be killed. I bailed him out, and together, we defeated the enemy and saved Rin. Obito even manifested his Sharingan. However, during the battle, there was a cave-in, and Obito's body was half crushed.

"He... he entrusted his eye to me and asked me to take care of Rin."

"So that's how you got the Sharingan," said Sasuke thoughtfully. "Didn't my family have a problem with you having that?"

"They did," admitted Kakashi. "I remember some wanted to take it out of me. Obito was always an outcast among them. He always wanted to get his Sharingan so they'd notice him.

"Well, he got it, and they only cared enough to try to thwart his dying wish." Kakashi realized that was not diplomatic. "I'm sorry, but... talking about my old team is a sore subject."

"But what happened to Rin?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi sighed. "I failed her, as well.

"I...

"I killed her." He raised one hand. "With this hand. It was a friendly fire incident. She got in front of my Chidori during a battle and-" Kakashi froze.

"Kakashi-sensei, is something wrong?" asked Sakura.

"...Tobi, his body, is largely artificial and made of Hashirama's cells. He has a Sharingan on the opposite eye to me, even though he shouldn't. And he...

"He referenced what happened with Rin." That was... that was unthinkable.

"Maybe he read the records," said Naruto.

"There were no records," said Kakashi. "I had to spend months in therapy after Rin died. I was in no state to write any kind of coherent report, and I told no one except the Fourth Hokage what happened that day.

"He assigned me to be the head of his ANBU, but I failed him as well."

"Maybe he was watching from hiding," said Naruto.

"If he was, he'd be an Uchiha, and we'd have known about it," said Sasuke flatly. "Dad was always very careful about knowing everything."

"He might have got the Sharingan later," said Naruto.

"No," said Kakashi. "The Sharingan takes an immense amount of control and skill to learn. Everything I know about it was based on trial and error. It took me a decade to learn all the ins and outs. And I knew far more about the Sharingan than most people.

"Combined with that, Tobi knew how important Rin was to me.

"Why else would he make that comment? And his voice noticeably changed pitched to show hatred when he did that."

"Maybe he was acting," said Sakura. "Trying to psyche you out after reading the reports."

Kakashi fell silent. It couldn't be possible, he didn't want to believe it. But the cold, rational part of his mind told him that the simplest solution was the likeliest. "Rin was no one of note, Sakura. It would be nearly impossible to dig up anything beyond that we were on the same team.

"I think... I think..."

Then he turned and saw a bird-headed toward him. It landed on his arm, and Kakashi took a letter off its back. Good, he needed to take his mind off this anyway.

"Kakashi-sensei, what is it?" asked Sakura.

"From the looks of things, its a message from the Leaf," said Kakashi. "An emergency dispatch, they only send this kind for mission updates."

He opened the scroll and saw a message from the Third Hokage, written by hand. It cited the same evidence and more. A final confirmation of what he'd been trying to avoid.

Kakashi felt like he ought to be catatonic at the moment, but he simply felt empty. Then he felt something else, rage. A lot of rage. The paper was torn up in his hands and thrown to the wind. The hawk fled.

"What is it, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura.

"Tobi is..." the words stuck in Kakashi's throat. "Obito Uchiha."

* * *

Kurenai stood stunned and frozen, and Tobi used the opportunity to glance over to Zetsu. There was no Sharingan in his eye. "Was it necessary to use the Sharingan, Zetsu?"

"No, Tobi, not at all," said Zetsu. "When we found her, she was already hypnotized."

Tobi smiled beneath his mask. "As I suspected. It seems that my plan has born unexpected fruit."

"What are you talking about?!" cried Kurenai. "Yakumo, what is going on here-" She was cut off as a gag of steel muffled her voice. Yakumo was painted upon a canvas that had only appeared, but her brush was dry. "MMPH!"

"I'm afraid that Yakumo is under my genjutsu," said Tobi. "Despite her skill at creating these, she is not nearly so good at countering them." He looked around him curiously. "It's a very interesting genjutsu, one so powerful that it can affect reality. Of course, since the genjutsu has a physical presence, that makes it an extension of Yakumo.

"And since Yakumo is now mine, so is this entire dimension."

Kurenai screamed something to Yakumo, even as the cage began to sink into the ground. Yakumo did so as well, painting with a content smile upon her face.

"I find that offering someone what they desire is often the best way to keep them distracted," said Tobi. "Yakumo, Kurenai-sensei is all yours to do with as you will."

A final muffled scream came from Kurenai, and then both were gone. From there, Tobi glanced down. "Well, it appears that this particular TV show has lost its host, hasn't it, Anko?" But Anko was gone. "...She appears to have slipped away.

"No matter, I'm certain we can still maintain a five-star television broadcast. Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Tobi's Ninjamania.

"I hope you've enjoyed the season so far because I'm afraid it's going to be your last." He eyed the assembled crowd and directly Yakumo to make changes. "Now, all of you Leaf Ninja looking in here, there must be a thousand at least."

Many tendrils with blades rose up, ready to stab into them. Tobi wasn't sure if he could kill them with this genjutsu. But it was worth finding out. He raised his hand-

And then he ducked, nearly losing his head.

Neji Hyuga surged past him and brought around a sword that seemed like a pillar of blue light. It plunged toward Tobi's heart. Tobi reacted quickly, but Neji seemed to adjust his blade before Tobi moved. Dodging and weaving, he found that his enemy was striking hard and fast.

The tendrils vanished, and cheers resounded.

They thought it was all part of the show, did they? And it was, for now, since apparently, Neji was preventing him from gaining control of this domain. Even now, Tobi could sense him, his mind within this place. His very presence interfered with Yakumo's ability to alter things. And through her, it interfered with Tobi.

Tobi drew his own chakra blade of red-crimson light and blocked Neji's strike. They held it there, blades crackling against one another. Tobi activated his Sharingan, but Neji moved heedless of it and struck again. They clashed, and Tobi was faster and stronger in every way.

Yet Neji seemed to know his every move before he made it. Feints were seen and exploited with counterfeints. Attacks were parried and responded to. Every attack Neji made was perfectly timed and long practiced. It was as if Tobi was fighting his own shadow. He was already proving an interesting opponent.

At last, they halted.

"Neji Hyuga," said Tobi. "I believe we've met before, haven't we?"

"In a manner of speaking," said Neji. "I've memorized your tells and style. Observed how you fight in a hundred different possible battles."

"I see," said Tobi. "So you've memorized my move set. With a power like that Kyuseishu Byakugya, you are able to make the perfect reaction to every move I make before I ever know I'm going to make it. Like memorizing an algorithm.

"Unfortunately, that's not much more than a stopgap.

"You see, people aren't algorithms. Every action we take begins and ends with a choice."

"Perhaps," said Neji. "Let me ask you this, though. You worked with Orochimaru for years, did you not?"

"Yes, that much is correct," said Tobi.

"Did you ever ask him?" asked Neji.

"Ask him what?" asked Tobi, curious.

"To bring Rin back to life?" asked Neji.

Tobi halted.

All this time, he had been looking forward to seeing Rin again after he completed all this. It was a distant sort of happily ever after. And he realized that in all his scheming and plotting, he had never once even considered doing that. Or talking to Nagato, for that matter, either one of them might have been able to achieve it.

And then Neji's sword was inches away from his eye. It headed toward him at slow motion, and Tobi began to dodge. Yet Neji had made the perfect thrust, at the perfect angle, Tobi was hardly able to dodge it. His mask was split in two and fell away. Twisting, he saw Neji take his hand off his sword and then-

Pain.

Tobi spun away, closing one eye, and falling to one knee. Looking up, he saw Neji Hyuga standing in front of him. And in his hand was one of Tobi's Sharingan.

That was it.

All bets were off.

"I'm going to enjoy watching you die, Hyuga," snarled Tobi as he retrieved his spare Sharingan.

Neji crushed the eye in one fist, bloodying his hands. "You didn't answer the question."

Tobi moved to make hand signs. Yet even as he did, Neji had already been making the counter. "Water Style: Water wave jutsu!"

"Fire Style: Fireball jutsu!" said Tobi in turn.

When had Neji learned that technique? It hardly matter, it had spooked him, and his execution was off. Water met fire and water kept the all-consuming flames at bay. Even as it did, Neji leamed through the steam, lunging at Tobi. Tobi maneuvered in a dodge to the right, but Neji was twisting in midair before he even did it.

As he flew through the air, Neji made more signs.

"Fire style: Fireball jutsu!" said Neji.

His movements were clumsy as if he was a beginner learning from observation. His attack was not nearly so powerful as it could have been. Tobi began to make the hand signals for a counterstrike, but he missed one of the steps. Damn it, he was off his game!

The flames washed over Tobi, and he raised a hand to ward them away from his eyes.

But he knew Neji would not be far behind, so he rolled away before he even tried to put out the flames. On pure instinct, Tobi whirled around and made hand signs. "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

Neji dodged.

But only barely.

Around them, the arena was falling away into darkness. Without a directing hand, the illusions began to lose consistency. They warped and changed. Quickly, Tobi drew out one of his spare Sharingans and put it into his eye. Blinking, he saw clearly now again.

Rising up, he looked around...

And saw nothing.

Neji Hyuga was gone. And with the loss of his Sharingan, Tobi no longer had control of Yakumo. She was operating on the old orders and would until someone shook her out of this. Which meant that Tobi was now on an even playing field with someone who knew his every move.

"...Touche," said Tobi after a moment.

And then, suddenly, there was light. Turning around, Tobi saw a door opening. Into the room leaped Anko, clad in her uniform. "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the technical issues!

"But today we have a very special guest!

"GIVE IT UP FOR LORD OROCHIMARU!"

Cheers roared as Tobi whirled around to find Orochimaru directly behind him, smiling. Leaping back, Tobi took a stance. He'd never been able to read this snake.

"Oh, no need for that, Tobi," said Orochimaru. "After all, I'm not here as a contestant. So long as you don't attack me, we have nothing to fight about.

"No, I'm just here to up the stakes a bit." He raised his hands outward. "After all, why should we limit ourselves to that tired old storyline? Especially since we have a very special guest to see you!

"Anko, reveal our prize!"

Anko made summoning hand gestures, and Tobi stood on guard. Even as he did, a coffin of brown wood appeared before him. An Edo Tensei, then, who would it be?

The coffin opened, and Tobi saw a ghost from his past, bound and gagged. The brown-haired girl was tied up and looking around with uncomprehending terror. She didn't even recognize him, did she?

"RIN!" said Obito.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hey, public service announcement. The government is talking about reopening for business. And I've noticed in my area that a lot of people are going out without masks. They're also reopening Golf Courses and Restaurants in some places. I really have to urge you guys to stay safe and don't go out.

I realize you're probably all going stir-crazy, I am too. But this virus is not over yet, and leaving the house ahead of time might not just infect you. It also might infect your family and hundreds of people you'll never meet.

Stay safe and stay home, people.


	18. Loophole Abuse

**Chapter Eighteen: Loophole Abuse**

Obito moved forward, but even as he did, Orochimaru raised a hand.

Rin screamed in agony as seals scrawled over her flesh. In a single moment, Orochimaru could use any kind of seal he wanted on her. There were things far worse than death that could happen to an Edo Tensei.

"In the living, undead flesh," said Orochimaru. "Complete with a full set of pain receptors."

"Get your hands off her, you-" began Obito.

But Orochimaru, Anko, and Rin vanished. A genjutsu...

But when had he been put under it? And how? Wait, was that the sound of a flute he heard? Quickly putting together his hands, he released it. Then he whirled around and saw the arena was falling away into nothingness.

It now seemed to be nothing more than a vast void of potential, with no true shape or form. Reality had changed so many times now. Cut off from the rest of the world, this area had lost its shape.

"Come now, Tobi, over here!" said Orochimaru.

Obito whirled and saw him standing with a sword in hand. Rin was behind him. Obito had to work quickly and find a way out of this. Obviously, Orochimaru wanted something, he just had to learn what it was and-

Orochimaru raised his hand, and Rin screamed again in agony.

That was it. Orochimaru couldn't do anything to Rin if he was dead.

With his full power and might, Tobi surged toward Orochimaru. It was faster than anyone could have managed to defend against. His hand plunged forward toward his chest, and-

And then the ground beneath him warped, and Obito fell downwards into an eternal void. Yet a shadow moved within that void. Anko surged into view, covered with black sealing chakra all over her body. She hurling something. Obito at once saw his chance and activated his Sharingan. If he could control her-

Whatever it was, Anko had thrown exploded, and dozens of different light beams shot all over the place. Of course, she'd thrown reflective pieces into the air. Some of them hit him in the eyes, and Obito yelled as he felt his own will surging into him. He'd effectively just tried to dominate his own mind, his body supplying the chakra.

And then Anko kicked him in the chest, sending him flying back to slam against something.

Obito rose up, but Anko was gone, and Orochimaru was coming at him from behind. Whirling around, he brought around a fist, only to lose it. Orochimaru had cleaved off his hand, and Obito surged back with a scream. Then Anko landed behind him. Regrowing his arm, Obito blocked a flurry of punches from her. As he did, he twisted away from Orochimaru's assault from behind.

Spinning into the air, he made hand signs:

"Fire Style: Fireball-"

And then Anko leaped toward him, using Rin as a human shield. He hesitated, and the fire chakra he was summoning exploded within him. Then they grabbed Rin by the legs and smashed Obito in the face, sending him falling away. Looking up, he saw Rin's neck was broken, and her legs broken. Horrors overtook him as memories of Kakashi...

Kakashi...

Rin was healed. And she was being used as a human shield by Anko again. And she was smiling brightly. "You walked right into this one, Tobi. That's the probably with having your secret identity revealed, isn't it?

"It opens up all your weaknesses."

And then she disappeared with the sound of a flute. Another genjutsu and Obito was in it again. How had he-

Forget it.

Obito made some other hand signs. "FIRE STYLE: INFERNO WAVE JUTSU!"

A massive sphere of flame shot from him. It surged outward in every direction and burning through everything in sight. Rin couldn't be killed anyway, so he wasn't losing anything valuable. It went farther and farther and-

Stopped? It was redirected upwards.

Looking up, Obito saw three great gates of the underworld around him. They'd formed a triangle around him. With them blocking the way, the fire naturally shot up. Though he'd melted them quickly.

Anko and Orochimaru landed in front of him. Rin was sobbing now, while Anko's curse seal form was growing more and more advanced. She used a forked tongue to lick away Rin's tears.

"Wow, now that was just excessive," said Anko. "Trying to blow everything up at once? Sure it a shame this dimension is basically fluid.

"I gotta say though, the look on your face was priceless."

Obito began to make more hand sign.

"You don't want to do that," said Anko. "Rin here is trained for obedience even better than I am. Anything you throw at me is going to go through her."

"Really, Anko, he already tried to use a move that would have burned her alive," said Orochimaru. "It's all very plain; she's more of an excuse than a motivation."

There was that flute again.

"Genjutsu: Release!" said Obito.

And they were gone.

Obito was not going to be baited by this genjutsu user into using up all his chakra. He had to focus if he was going to save Rin. Quickly calming his thoughts, he reached out with his chakra and sensed...

There they were.

He leaped over the gates and found them. Anko's transformation was fully underway now. Her legs had been replaced by the tail of a serpent, and her violet hair was writhing. Scales were creeping up her skin.

It didn't matter.

"Lightning Style:" said Tobi. "Thunderbolt of the Gods!"

He hurled it straight at Anko, Rin be damned. The pain would be momentarily and insignificant next to a prolonged engagement. However, Orochimaru stepped in front of them, and a wall of earth rose. It was blasted apart, but the attack was stopped.

So Orochimaru actually valued her.

Interesting. Perhaps he could exploit the fact.

"What's the matter, Tobi?" asked Anko. "No smug condescension? No reality-warping power to make all our efforts meaningless?

"Shame you can't warp away your past, isn't it? Ah, the limitations of the Sharingan. Few, but concrete."

Tobi ignored her, instead, he waited. He'd let them make the first move, and this time he would not let his emotions cloud his judgment. They were only trying to bait him because, in a prolonged fight, they'd lose.

"Well, it seems you've decided to take a defensive stance. How irritating, I had hoped to keep this going for quite some time," Orochimaru spun his sword. Then he sheathed it back into his throat. "Still, I must admit, Tobi, I am somewhat disappointed."

Disappointed? What was he talking about?

"Working with you gave me time to come up with all kinds of fascinating theories," said Orochimaru. "What manner of person could have both the cells of Hashirama and a fully developed Sharingan. Especially one with so many abilities and so many remarkable terrible deeds.

"What scheme could be worthy of such an adversary? I even wondered if you were Madara Uchiha himself.

"Still, I feel like I've just finished marathoning five hundred episodes in a TV show. After all that time, it can't help but be disappointing. I was prepared for it, of course.

"But even with that, your true identity is just...

"Pathetic."

"You can say that again," said Anko. "Past the aura of mystery and deadly machinations, what are you? A stupid little manchild, complete with a plastic headset. And your entire motive, in the end, is just so you could fuck a twelve-year-old."

"I'm certain there are black market services that cater to that need," said Orochimaru.

Obito narrowed his eyes as Orochimaru's smile widened. Stay defensive, clench your fists.

And then Orochimaru and Anko started laughing. And they weren't the only ones.

A light chuckle at first, but then it got louder, and it began to echo around them. He laughed and laughed, and soon that laughter became a hysterical chorus. It was all around him as if a crowd of faceless observers were mocking Obito. Mocking the motives that defined his life.

Mocking him. Dismissing the horrors that had defined him as a poor man's copy of some more worthy adversary. An unnecessary extension to more interesting subjects.

Just like the Uchiha had treated him. Just like the Leaf.

Obito Uchiha declared that he'd change things for the better. Tobi, on the other hand, just decided to kill them all. And he had killed them all, he'd devastated the Leaf. He'd killed Minato and Kushina, engineered the destruction of the Uchiha.

And. They. Were. Still. Laughing. At. Him!

Obito snapped.

Everything went red as he surged toward Orochimaru, and this time the Snake Sanin had no time to reply. Obito smashed his nose, ripped off one of his arms, grabbed him by the throat, and smashed him against the ground. Activating his Sharingan, he prepared to use it...

"I'll reject your very existence!" snarled Obito.

"If doing with your eyes that was enough to kill me, the Leaf should have destroyed me the day I was born!" laughed Orochimaru. "Anko, if you would."

Tobi turned to her, but too late! Orochimaru shed his skin and grabbed him from behind. Anko let down her hair, and it transformed into many snakes. Her gaze looked upon him, and Obito found he could not move. His entire body went rigid, as Orochimaru let go and walked around him.

"Oh yes, I should note that Anko is a very special experiment," said Orochimaru. "I created her Curse Seal with a very special ability. It allows her to instantly immobilize any target she makes contact with as if they'd been turned to stone.

"Based on the stories of Medusa, you understand? All very mythological.

"Which means there is nothing you can do now that will stop me from taking your body."

That had been his plan all along.

Bait Obito into losing control and then play this. Orochimaru wanted the Sharingan, and this was his method of getting it.

"I've won, Obito," said Orochimaru with a smile. "The Sharingan is mine, as is the power of Hashirama. Your plans are at an end. The friend you fought so long and hard to be reunited with will never be seen by you again. I'm going to take great delight, presenting Rin to Kakashi as a gift in your body.

"I wonder if he'll be able to bring himself to kill her? Either way, since the Leaf authorized this tactic through Root. It'll shatter his delusions-"

"Don't talk, just do it!" snapped Anko. "He may recover or pull something!"

Orochimaru blinked and looked to her. "Oh, yes, thank you, Anko." He glanced back at Obito. "It isn't a true boon to have subordinate that can reign in your worst excesses, wouldn't you say.

"Now..."

Orochimaru was a serpent. His will surged forward toward Tobi, coiling around it.

"YOU ARE MINE!"

Obito was within a mindscape, a dimension of endless slime and corruption. It was a sea of it, and before him, he could see others. Previous hosts. People who Orochimaru had assimilated in his search to seize control of reality. How many had he consumed?

Well, Obito knew one thing.

None of them had possessed the Sharingan.

Orochimaru's will surged forward to consume him. Obito's eye blazed, and he arose with even greater strength. And where Orochimaru had been godlike compared to others, now he seemed insignificant.

"What is this..." began Orochimaru. "This is impossible; this is my own space!"

"People like you are such tools of the Leaf," scoffed Tobi, regaining his senses. "You believe that if you work hard enough, learn the right techniques, you can surpass even the Uchiha. And you, in particular, were on the right track, trying to gain a Sharingan for your own.

"However...

"The nobility of my blood is too great for you to consume. The serpent may price on mice...

"But, they are prey to birds!"

"The hell we are!" said a voice.

Wait, what?

And then the image of a redhaired woman appeared and bolstered Orochimaru's power. The overwhelming force that Tobi had possessed was turned back for a time. Then another came.

"What..." said Tobi. "What is this? How could you have..."

"Lord Orochimaru is stronger than you know!" said the second force, no, two forces linked by blood.

"He gave us life!" said the other.

"Purpose!" said an eight-armed boy.

"This is impossible!" said Tobi. "We are in a battle of wills, how could you have summoned others to aid you?" And then he halted and saw a giant appearing to aid him, stalemating him in place. "The Curse Mark.

"You're using your psychic connection to them to overwhelm the power of my blood?! HOW DARE YOU SNAKE!"

"Oh, so when you manage to beat Lord Orochimaru at his own game with no training, its 'the nobility of your blood," said Anko. "But when we overcome your deus ex machina using practical strategy, we're somehow out of line?"

"Let's just shut the fuck up and eat this guy," snapped Tayuya.

And then Orochimaru and his subordinates pooled their energy for a sole purpose. Assimilating Tobi. And Tobi found that for all his efforts. For all the powers that had been bestowed upon him, he was losing. The power of the Uchiha Clan, isolated and fed by hubris, was being destroyed. Not by a Senju, or one following their ideal. But by a collection of street rats, Orochimaru had brainwashed into believing him a god!

Tobi was... slightly upset by this.

"NO! THIS CANNOT BE!" he roared. "I AM TOBI! I AM THE STUDENT OF MADARA UCHIHA! I AM THE ONE WHO WILL REMAKE THE WORLD AND BRING PEACE! I WILL NOT HAVE MY PLANS UNDONE BY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP AND HARD WORK!"

What the hell was he supposed to do? He had a fully developed Sharingan! There had to be some kind of broken power he could use to turn this around on a dime! Oh, right, there was.

"I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS!" roared Tobi, his eye flaring. "IZANAMI!" He wasn't sure if he had to say Izanami, but who cared.

As it took effect, Anko put her face in her hands. "God above! Could somebody please nerf the Sharingan!"

And then Orochimaru was alone and Tobi...

Remembered what had happened. This was unusual.

"What is..." asked Orochimaru. "Where are the others?"

"Interesting," said Tobi. "I seem to be playing the same role I did before. Well then, let's try this again."

Sure enough, in came the Sound Four to interfere, and he began to be overwhelmed again.

And then everything reset.

"What is going on here?" asked Orochimaru.

"I used the Izanami on you," said Tobi. "Ordinarily, it would take a great deal of preparation to achieve. Fortunately, we are in a battle within my mind. As such, both of us are now trapped in an infinite loop. Neither of us can escape it.

"If you kill me, it will reset. If you die, it will reset. If you wait out the clock, it will reset. Even torturing me into ending the loop is not an option."

"I assume this is yet more power handed to the Uchiha's without any need to work for it?" asked Orochimaru, sounding very annoyed.

"Not quite," said Tobi. "It was originally designed as a means of disciplining those who abused their power. It forces one to acknowledge their wrongdoing. To face their actions and accept the consequences of their action. It can only be escaped by giving up.

"Ordinarily, it would be harmless save for some character growth.

"But in this situation, it means an automatic win for me. In a battle of wills, to give in is to be assimilated. You performed your operation with a great deal of skill. However, you didn't count on one thing.

"The Uchiha are just better."

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes and saw that Tobi was right. "...Well, I confess I had not anticipated this event. Fortunately, I have one advantage you cannot conceive of either."

"And what is that?" asked Tobi, somewhat interested.

Orochimaru smiled. "This isn't the real me."

"What?!" said Tobi.

And then Tobi awoke and found himself still frozen in place. The discarded body of Orochimaru was on the ground. At the same time, Anko had returned to her human form, and something appeared to be emerging from her neck. She screamed as Orochimaru took on form before Tobi.

Tobi was beginning to get the feeling back in his body but waited. One of his eyes was blind.

Anko fell to one knee, gasping. Then she looked up at Orochimaru with a combination of childish admiration and fury. "What the... Orochimaru-sensei, no, you... you bastard! I won't... where are we... AH!"

Then she screamed and fell to the ground.

"Well, it would appear Anko is suffering a severe case of cognitive dissonance, isn't she?" mused Orochimaru as the Sound Four landed around him. The void fell away, and Tobi saw around him the arena returning to what it was.

Someone had freed Yahiko.

"A shame, she was truly useful while in my service. And that curse mark was a real work of art," said Orochimaru.

"Lord Orochimaru, we have Zetsu as you commanded!" said Sakon.

"Did you use the containment methods?" asked Orochimaru, glancing back.

"To the letter, sir," said Sakon.

"Good," said Orochimaru. "Well then, I suppose I'm going to have to kill Tobi now. Aren't I?" Tobi could move again, but his chakra had been nearly exhausted. Looking around, he saw Rin trying to crawl away.

He broke into action, grabbed her, and surged into the trees. As he did, Neji broke away from Tobi's mind and looked through his own eyes.

To his surprise, Orochimaru made no attempt to pursue or send the Sound Four after him.

"...Well, that was unexpected," mused Orochimaru. "Still, I suppose I'll need to bring Anko back into the fold, won't I..."

Anko pulled herself up and pulled herself away as Orochimaru advanced on her. However, at that moment Guy positioned himself between them. Neji landed by his side, with Tenten and Rock Lee behind him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Orochimaru," said Guy. "Anko is a member of the Leaf, and putting a curse mark on her will be considered an attack."

"Guy..." said Anko.

"And what if she willingly accepts it, Guy?" asked Orochimaru. "Anko, you must admit you've had far more fun these past few weeks than you have in years. Come with us?" And he offered a hand.

Anko stayed right where she was. "...No."

Orochimaru shrugged. "Well, I suppose that is your choice.

"Prepare to return to the Sound. I'm going to enjoy dissecting Zetsu. There are are so many experiments that nobody else could survive. Still, I ought to find a good medical team to take care of things." And he and his servants departed in a flash.

Neji turned his gaze from outside Orochimaru and focused through his own body now. He moved toward the far edge of the area, where Yakumo was painting Kurenai sleeping.

"Yakumo, is Kurenai alright?" asked Neji.

"Of course," said Yakumo. "Kurenai-sensei managed to free me from the genjutsu after you destroyed Tobi's eye."

"I didn't destroy it," said Neji. "I formed a protective barrier of chakra around it then slipped it into my sleeve." He drew it out and looked at the eye. "Tenten, get me a medical case."

Tenten nodded and ran off. Neji then looked to Kurenai, who lay sleeping restlessly on the ground. Her chakra had been nearly depleted, somehow. "How is Kurenai?"

"I made sure she was asleep before I began painting her," said Yakumo. "She looks nice, dreaming."

"Right, well, I'm glad you didn't go axe crazy or try to destroy everything," said Tenten, coming back with a medical case. "That would have just made all this even more complicated."

"Kurenai-sensei taught me to be responsible with my illusions," said Yakumo.

"Well, on a brighter note," said Tenten, coming back with a case.

Neji quickly put the eye into it and sealed the case. Then he glanced to Tenten, who was eyeing him curiously. "Yes?"

"Neji, I have to ask, what was the plan here?" asked Tenten.

Neji supposed he ought to explain himself. "Well, no matter what strategies we used, Tobi would win against us. The best I could manage was to put him in a position where he humored us. Thus allowing us to stall him, while he turned our own trap against us.

"Which is why I ended up bringing Orochimaru in. He is powerful enough to compete with Tobi on the battlefield and cunning enough to outwit him. Of course, whatever happened, it would end with Orochimaru trying to assimilate Tobi.

"Either of them assimilating the other would be a worst case scenario. But I saw that with the Sound Four and Anko alive, Orochimaru and Tobi would stalemate. And, that stalemate involved him using the curse mark he planted in Anko to escape.

"That's why it was so important Guy-sensei not fight. We needed him in reserve. Without him, Orochimaru might have just clobbered us and taken Anko back."

"Wouldn't that break with the Leaf?" asked Tenten.

"Orochimaru is childish and impulsive," said Anko. She stormed forward, still in the form of a girl their age. "He'd start a war if it meant not giving up one of his chew toys."

"Anko, are you alright?" asked Neji.

"Yes, I'm fine," said Anko, slipping on her jacket again. "I'm..." She looked at herself. "Why am I still a kid? That bastard! I am not going through the academy again because of him!"

"Think of it this way," said Tenten. "You're now the youngest person ever to make Jonin."

Anko looked at Tenten with narrowed eyes. Then her hands became snakes and grabbed her, coiling around Tenten, who shuddered. "Ow! it was just a joke! Let go of me!"

"Hey, Neji?" asked Anko, glancing at Neji.

"Yes?" said Neji.

"Thanks," said Anko, before turning to walk off.

"So, are we done?" said Tenten.

"Indeed we are!" said Rock Lee. "The Leaf has won another victory!"

"And since we get a fifteen percent cut of all the profits, we're rich!" said Tenten.

"Maybe so, but I doubt we've seen the last of Obito," said Guy.

"Actually, we may have," said Neji, who'd seen into his mind.

"What do you mean?" asked Tenten.

Neji thought about how to answer that. Peering through Tobi's eyes, he saw his enemy halting in a clearing. Halting there, he untied Rin quickly.

Rin gazed at him, mixed between fear and wonder. "Obito... is that you?"

Obito smiled. "Hello, Rin. We've got a lot to talk about."

Things could go either way at this point. However, the important thing was that Tobi had been removed from the picture for now. Where he went from here would be dealt with later...


	19. Arrival in the Land of Waves

**Chapter Nineteen: Arrival in the Land of Waves**

A low mist hung over the land of waves as the boat cut through the waves. Naruto leaned against the back of the boat, peering out into the sea. The vague outline of the bridge they were here to build came before him. It was pretty darn big, wasn't it?

How did ordinary people build something like this? It would probably take a lot of work from Tazuna. Looking to the old man, he saw he was gazing inland warily.

"Tazuna, where to next?" asked Naruto, at last, looking to the bridgebuilder.

"Once we make landfall, we'll make for my house," said Tazuna warily. "It's at the edges of town, and my daughter and grandson will be waiting for us.

"I'll be relying on you if any more of those Akatsuki show up."

"You can count on us, of course," said Kakashi, before looking to Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura. "Remember the formation we set up?"

On they went, and soon they came to the edge of a town. Making their way through the Land of Waves, they found the dock nearly abandoned. Here and there you could see fishing ships moored. The buildings here were run down. Several of the stores seemed to have very limited inventories from the windows.

Tazuna led them past this dreary sight, pulling his cloak closer around him. Soon enough, they were making their way out of the main town. "We'll head through the forest for a bit," said Tazuna. "I know my way well enough, and it may shake off Gato's men." Privately, Naruto doubted this would do no good, but Kakashi seemed to like the idea.

"Naruto," said Kakashi. "I want you to create a lot of shadow clones and use them to scout things out."

Naruto nodded and made the hand signs. In a poof of smoke, thousands of him appeared all around him. Soon enough, there were hundreds of his clones making their way through the woods. Now he had to wait for them to get back.

Naruto hated waiting.

He had the feeling that they were going to be attacked soon, and everyone else was thinking the same. Sakura was walking just a bit closer to Sasuke than normal, Sasuke kept glancing around. Tazuna kept his hat low as if hoping he'd be overlooked. Kakashi-sensei was pretending to be unaffected. But his eyes were darting around now and then, trying to pierce the thick foliage.

It was wet and cold, and soon they came to many pools of water that stood around them. They were cool and clear, but they only made the mist thicker.

"I hate this," said Naruto.

"Hate what?" asked Sakura.

"I don't want to fight the Akatsuki," said Naruto. "But waiting around here waiting to be attacked is even worse."

"Well," said Sakura. "Maybe we won't be? Gato could have bankrupted himself hiring just one Akatsuki."

"Let's hope so," said Kakashi. "But we should keep a keen eye out anyway."

Naruto froze up suddenly. Memories shot through his mind from some of his clones, then another. Kakashi turned to him at once. "What is it, Naruto?"

"It might be nothing," said Naruto. "But I keep on seeing these weird animals. They look like they are made out of clay, but they're alive and...

"They're coming this way, fast."

"Get ready," said Kakashi, drawing a kunai. "The Akatsuki are coming."

"What do you mean?" asked Sakura.

"One of the Akatsuki is named Deidara. He utilizes white clay animals animated with chakra to create explosions," said Kakashi. "Apparently, he's something of a mad bomber."

More memories came to Naruto. Several of his clones were disappearing, and he saw a hunched and cloaked figure. "Um, Kakashi-sensei..."

"What is it?" asked Kakashi.

"This hunched over a cloaked guy is killing my clones," said Naruto. "He's using needless."

Kakashi shifted and looked around. "...We can't fight two S ranked ninja at once. Naruto quickly created shadow clones with our shape and a lot of chakra. Do it now and have them make camp. Make them act like us."

Naruto nodded and quickly obeyed. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

"Now, into the river, quickly," said Kakashi.

Quickly, Naruto made his decoys, and the group leaped into the river. The cold water soaked Naruto's clothes as he went underwater. Tazuna was quickly hidden within the ferns by Kakashi, who used some jutsu to help them fade in.

"Do you think we can stop them, Naruto?" asked Clone Sakura.

"I don't know, Sakura, that Tobi guy was incredibly hard to beat," said Clone Naruto.

"Speak for yourself, loser," said Clone Sasuke. "I could have defeated him easily! My defeat was totally your fault and had nothing to do with my own carelessness. It was you."

"But I beat Tobi," said Naruto. "All you did was get beat up."

"Quiet Naruto!" shouted Kakashi. "You are an inferior and worthless person, and Sasuke is the only one of you three students I care about!"

"...Naruto, you might want to work on acting classes," said Kakashi, after a moment.

"And Sasuke doesn't act like that!" said Sakura.

Naruto gave her a flat look.

And then dozens of clay beetles and birds surged out of the trees and landed. At once, they exploded. The reeds flew around them as the water moved in waves as flames surged outward, burning the grass.

Nothing was left.

That had been fast.

Out of the trees came a man with long, blonde hair like how Ino wore. His clothes were a black robe with red clouds. With him was another, the hunched over guy.

"Man, I can't believe Tobi had so much trouble wiping out these guys," said Deidara. "You sure we're not operating below our paygrade, Sasori, my man?"

"We do the missions we're assigned. Check for bodies," said Sasori, voice low.

"There wouldn't be any," said Deidara. "Not with that kind of firepower."

"Check the area anyway. Once we've done that, we'll return to Gato and report our success," said Sasori. "Hurry it up."

And so began the waiting. Deidara sent his clay creatures flying about, or scuttling over the ground. One of them came within inches of Naruto's face, but moved on without seeing him. Sakura caught her breath as Sasori made his way nearby.

At last, Deidara came back. "Alright, no sign of anything. Looks like we've wiped them out. It's a shame, I expected better from Copycat Kakashi."

"Fine then," said Sasori. "Let's go. I hate keeping people waiting."

When they were gone, they made their way into the blackened grass. Tazuna wiped the mud off. "That was a close call."

"Not close enough," said Kakashi. "I get the feeling those two weren't particularly interested in finding us."

"Maybe they're phoning it in," noted Tazuna. "I'm probably far below their usual paygrade."

"Well, if they were, their loss is our gain," said Kakashi. "We shouldn't have trouble anymore until they figure out they botched the mission."

"Yes, but I have to get to work," said Tazuna. "As soon as we start building the bridge again, they'll come after us again. I think we can count on that."

"Perhaps, but now that we know who we're facing, we can make a plan to deal with them," said Kakashi. "Come on, we've got to go. Before the mist clears."

And so they headed out.

The group saw no more sign of the Akatsuki, but they hurried on. As they did, Naruto thought it had all been too easy. He had several clones watch their back, and he would have sent out more.

"Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto. "Want me to send out some scouts to look for Sasori and Deidara?"

"Not at the moment, Naruto," said Kakashi. "If you did spot them, they'd probably spot you. Then they'd know we were alive."

"Come on, it's not much farther now," said Tazuna, walking with a fast step. "We should make it soon."

About thirty minutes later, they arrived at Tazuna's house. It was a large, two-story affair and well built. It was half-built on top of a platform near the sea. Moving toward it, Tazuna put aside his cloak and raised a hand. The old man knocked on the door, and it slid aside. Beyond, Naruto saw a beautiful, blue-haired woman. She sighed in relief when she saw them. "Tazuna, you're here at last. When you were late, we thought..."

"I'm fine, Tsunami, where is Inari?" asked Tazuna.

"Upstairs," said Tsunami. "He's sleeping."

Looking up, Naruto realized that it had gotten dark while they were traveling. How long had they been at this? Looking around, he realized Sakura and Sasuke were tired. He wasn't at all. Come to think of it, Naruto had always had a lot more endurance than most people.

"Well then, best not to wake him," said Tazuna. "These are the ninja I went to bring back, they've already saved my life several times."

"Welcome, I'll make you supper, if you need it," said Tsunami.

"That would be much appreciated," said Kakashi. "We'll have to make a plan here."

Soon enough, they ate a meal of seafood that was really good. From there, they sat around the table and ate hungrily. When they had finished, they cleared their places, and Kakashi sat around it.

"Now, it's only a matter of time before Deidara and Sasori find out what's happened," said Kakashi. "When they do, we'll need a strategy to beat them."

"What do you have in mind, Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura.

Kakashi considered things. "...I'm going to have to deal with Sasori. He was a master with poisons and tends to use waves of projectiles. I don't think any of you would be able to evade his attacks.

"Only Sasuke would have a chance with his Sharingan.

"Naruto, Sasuke, you'll have to deal with Deidara if we end up facing both at once."

"What? Us?" asked Naruto. "Are you sure they can take him?"

"With proper strategy, yes," said Kakashi. "Your kamikaze clones could be used to counter Deidara's own abilities fairly well. And your clones can detect ambushes ahead of time. With Sasuke for help, I think you might stand a chance.

"In any case, this is the worst-case scenario.

"Team Guy should be arriving behind us anyway. With luck, we won't have a run-in with them until Guy is here."

"Perhaps I could stay away from work until they do," said Tazuna. "Stay in hiding."

"Unfortunately, that may not be an option. I suspect that Sasori and Deidara only pretended to fall for our deception," said Kakashi. "At the very least they may at least suspect we are alive. They must have some other reason for going ahead with this. Working for Gato may be only a pretense.

"Still, you are right, Tazuna.

"It will also give me an opportunity to train up my students a bit more."

"What about me, sensei?" asked Sakura.

Kakashi glanced at her. "In the case of a battle, I'll need you to stay by Tazuna if something happens and make sure he makes it out alive. To be honest, I'm not sure you'll be able to help in a pitched fight. But having someone on hand to protect Tazuna in a critical moment could save the whole mission."

"But sensei, are you sure we can beat Deidara and Sasori?" asked Sakura. "They're both S ranked criminals. I read about Sasori he... he's a legend in the Sand Village. My mother used to tell me not to be bad, or Sasori would turn me into a puppet."

"I know," said Kakashi. "However, even an S ranked ninja can lose to an inferior opponent if they get careless. Combat isn't all about chakra and bloodlines. A large part of it is in preparations and the mindset of the one going into things.

"I won't lie to you if we do fight Sasori and Deidara before Team Guy gets here, we could all end up dead. I will do everything in my power to make sure that you all get out alive, but mistakes can be made.

"If we were going to back out, we should have done it on the road.

"This is what a ninja has to deal with. Just remember that a few months ago, Team Guy were just as inexperienced as you. You can do this. I wouldn't have let you come this far if I didn't believe in you.

"Now, it's up to us to prove me right."

Sakura nodded. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

"Good, now let's get down to the guard details," said Kakashi.

Great, more prep-work.

Naruto had only been on this mission for a little while, and he was already sick of it.


	20. Manipulations

**Chapter Twenty: Manipulations**

Gato was furious, to say the least as he leaned over his desk.

"You idiots!" snarled the businessman.

Deidara supposed he ought to be offended, but he wasn't threatened enough by Gato to be offended. "What?"

"Tazuna is still alive!" said Gato. "We just got word from some of my contacts that he and his ninja bodyguards gave you the slip! They're heading toward the bridge right now!" He glanced at his guards on either side. "I hired you people because you were the best of the best! And now you can't even kill a bunch of genin and one bridgebuilder!"

Sasori said nothing. Deidara shrugged, and Gato looked even more furious. "That's all you have to-"

"Deidera," said Sasori suddenly.

"Yeah, what is it, Sasori, my man?" asked Deidara.

"It appears we have not fulfilled our contract," said Sasori. Deidera wondered how long he was going to put up appearances. "As such, we will have to take matters into our own hands."

"What do we have in mind?" asked Deidara.

"Targeting Tazuna is a waste of time. It will require an elaborate engagement with the Leaf Ninja," said Sasori. "Given that they gave us the slip once, they will be more prepared now."

"So what do you suggest?" asked Deidara.

"Blow up the bridge," said Sasori flatly.

"Blow up the..." began Gato. "What about Tazuna?"

"If we destroy the bridge, Tazuna will not have the money to build another," said Sasori. "His efforts will have failed, and he will not even have the dignity of being a martyr. Far more effective than cutting down a determined family man.

"Take care of it, Deidara. Tonight."

"And what will you be doing?" asked Deidara.

"Preparing for the operation, of course," said Sasori.

"Now hold on a minute!" snarled Gato, who evidently couldn't read the room. "I'm in charge here, and I'll be able to charge people a toll for that bridge once it's complete! Tazuna is the problem!

"I want you to kill him! And those are my orders! Your job is to make it happen!"

Sasori went very still. It was about this point that Gato realized he had access to several hundred rough and ready men. None of who would be even slightly useful if Sasori decided to kill him. Sasori waited until Gato was about to retract the statement and then-

"...Take him," said Sasori.

Right on cue, the guard's eyes went empty. They surged forward and grabbed Gato from both sides, pulling him up over his chair. The businessman kicked, knocking his chair down as Sasori looked at him hard.

"What, let go of me! I'm your boss, you can't-" began Gato.

"Do you feel like the boss, runt?" asked Deidara.

"You know what'll happen!" said Gato to his men. "If you backstab me, there are contracts that'll get sent out with your name on them! You can't-"

"They can," said Sasori. "And now that I've used my jutsu on them, they are all too willing. Puppets are easy to use, once to understand the strings."

"What?" said Gato, who was dragged in front of Sasori.

"Your presence in the Land of Waves is important for our purposes," said Sasori, "but not the ones you think. And I'm tired of being kept waiting."

"You can't..." Gato tried to escape as out of Sasori's robe came a puppets hand. "I'm the one signing your paychecks!"

"True," said Deidara. "But let me ask you this? Does putting bills in an envelope require free will?"

Gato screamed for help and mercy before Sasori was done. He got neither, and no one heard a thing through the jutsu Sasori had placed this morning.

* * *

Team 7 set out the next morning for the bridge. Tazuna had apparently sent word of his presence, and they had to stay close around him as they walked. Sakura hadn't seen any sign of that Inari boy from before, but she had helped Tsunami make breakfast.

It was something she could do to help.

Soon enough, they came to the bridge, and it was very impressive if only half-complete. There was the shore far in the distance, and there were the workmen waiting.

"Well, here is the bridge, or what will eventually be the bridge," said Tazuna.

"What are you going to call it?" asked Naruto.

"Not really sure, to be honest," said Tazuna. "I've been so focused on building it, no one has had time for a name. Traditionally I'd call it the Tazuna bridge, but that would seem a bit egotistical. After all, the families of the Land of Waves contributed to it all over. It would be like I'm claiming credit for it.

"I'll think of a name if I live long enough to raise it.

"These are my men."

"Naruto, how are your shadow clones doing?" asked Kakashi-sensei, who had been very quiet.

"Oh pretty well, I've got them walking throughout the town in disguise. I'll see if anyone comes through," said Naruto.

Kakashi-sensei had been doing nothing but giving orders. He'd used to have occasional reassuring things to say to them, but now he seemed all business. It seemed to Sakura he was trying not to think about Tobi being Obito. Sakura imagined what it would be like to know Naruto had gone bad.

"Well, create some more and make these ones visible," said Kakashi. "I want you to have watchers out across the entire surrounding area."

"You got it!" said Naruto.

And he did so. As he did, Sakura looked at half a dozen workers. Then she looked at Tazuna. "Hey, um, Tazuna, doesn't this seem like relatively few people to build a bridge."

"Well, yes," said Tazuna. "Unfortunately, many people are scared to be openly working on it. Those here are largely from the countryside and don't have family in the cities.

So it's more difficult for Gato to go after them.

"It would be a lot easier with a dozen more people but-"

"Your wish is my command! How about two dozen!" said Naruto, who'd just sent out his shadow clones. He made even more of them, and they lined up, ready for work.

"...That shadow clone ability is quite handy," said Tazuna. "I'm surprised more ninja don't use it."

"Well, Naruto has practically limitless chakra," said Kakashi. "So he's able to use it far more than most people. Sasuke, I want you on bodyguard duty. Stay near Tazuna at all times and be prepared to protect him if anything happens. Keep a keen eye on everyone who gets anywhere near this place.

"I'm going to go have a look around."

"What for?" asked Sakura.

"I want to find where Gato is operating," said Kakashi. "If we were to remove him ahead of time, then no one would be paying the Akatsuki anymore.

"They might just book it. So I think I'll see if I can't remove these particular snakes head off the bat."

"But what if they attack while you're not here?" asked Sakura.

"It's a risk," admitted Kakashi. "But to be honest, Sakura, I think it's the best chance we have. If it comes to a direct fight, we're going to have a serious problem. Sasuke and

Naruto might be able to defeat Deidara, and I might be able to defeat Sasori.

"Still, it's a far longer shot than me cutting Gato's throat."

"What should I do?" asked Sakura suddenly, realizing he hadn't given her any instructions.

Kakashi shifted and seemed to be looking for something to do for her. "Try to make yourself helpful and keep practicing genjutsu breaking for now."

Sakura wasn't any use at all here, was she? She nodded. "...Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

And so everyone began to work, and Sakura sat on the sidelines. As she did, she practiced, but not in a way that would get underfoot. Or tried, anyway, several times she had to step aside for one person or another. This only made her feel miserable.

Naruto and Sasuke had been training nonstop while she was pouting and mocking Ino. Now she was way farther behind. And while they were learning all kinds of new powers, she was stuck working on basics. So they'd get even farther ahead of her than before, making things even more difficult.

Sakura felt like she could feel her whole life stretching out ahead of her. And most of it consisted of her sitting on the sidelines and talking to herself about how useless she was. She almost went to ask Sasuke for help, but what could he do for her anyway?

It was worth a shot.

Making her way up to Sasuke while he was standing at work, she stood and waited to be recognized. Wait, why was she waiting, just ask! Her inner self that she'd been crushing down a lot more lately pushed her."Um, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked up. "Oh, Sakura. What is it?"

"That uh... that fire jutsu, you know," said Sakura. "Do you think you could teach it to me?"

Sasuke shifted. "It's not something you can teach easily. It took me weeks of nonstop training to master it. With your skill level, it would take a lot more than that. You're better off sticking to what Kakashi-sensei wants you to work on."

"Right," said Sakura, forcing a smile. "Sorry, I asked. I won't bother you anymore."

Sakura moved off.

'Idiot,' said Inner Sakura. 'Sasuke has better things to do than help you pick up the slack. You need to fix this on your own.'

There didn't seem to be a lot Sakura could do, though, other than trust Kakashi-sensei and be nicer to Naruto. Then a hand went to her shoulder, and she turned around.

"Excuse me, Sakura," said Tazuna.

"Yes?" asked Sakura, looking up.

"Could you go get me some supplies for my workers?" asked Tazuna, carrying some bags and a list. "It would be a huge help."

Well, it would be more help than standing here underfoot. "Oh, sure, what do you need."

"Here's a list. Some of them forgot lunch," said Tazuna.

Sakura took it and was just glad to have something useful to do.

'Yeah, you're really showing off your grocery-shopping jutsu there, girl.' said Inner Sakura, voice mocking.

Sakura ignored her, though there was something different about her other-self. "...Right, sure. I'll handle it."

Sakura had developed her inner self to defend against Ino if they ever sparred. She'd sort of visualized the person she didn't want to be and poured all her inner conflicts into them. Sometimes it was almost like the person was talking to her; other times, it was just a feeling. The trick was to create a sense that there was someone else in her head.  
The idea had been that Ino would have to fight that person if she entered Sakura's mind. It had been stupid, just stupid.  
It had almost gone away for a bit, but not it was back, and it was bitter and angry. Why?

'Oh, I don't know, maybe because everyone is treating me like a joke!' snapped Inner Sakura. 'So what if I lost to Tobi, everyone loses to Tobi! The guy has got to be Kage level!'

"They're not treating us like a joke," said Sakura. "We're just not as strong as Naruto and Sasuke."

'We're not as strong because Kakashi-sensei won't teach us anything!' shot back Inner Sakura. 'Naruto learns wind jutsu! Sasuke gets a chidori and training in his Sharingan! What did he teach us that he didn't teach them?!'

"We're learning to break genjutsu-"

'We're learning to stay out of the way and be a cheerleader!' replied Inner Sakura. 'Then again, being a cheerleader for Sasuke is all you ever wanted, isn't it? Wish granted!'

"Stop it!" said Sakura.

And then she realized she'd been talking to herself in the middle of the street. Looking around, she smiled nervously and moved on to the store. Within, she found a truly barren sight. It seemed like every shelf was nearly empty, and most of what was there were the worst kind of foods.

Even so, she managed to get most of the things on the list and began to head back. She hoped she didn't run into anyone who'd seen her before. To her surprise, however, there was a crowd of children gathered. In their center was a boy, perhaps fifteen to sixteen. He wore long brown robes and was holding a number of life-sized puppets by strings.

He moved his fingers with expert finesse. Sakura watched as dozens of different puppets moved around him in a dance. Many people cheered watching it, and she reflected that he was very, very skilled. They looked like real people dancing. They had personalities and finesse to their movements that was their own.

The boy himself had a mop of curly red hair and a serene expression on his face. A small smile flickered across his face as he worked.

"Excuse me, who is that boy?" asked Sakura.

"Oh, him," said a passerby. "That's Orassi. He came here a few days ago and started entertaining the kids with puppets. His expression, though, it never changes at all."

"Does he charge?" asked Sakura. He was really, really good.

"He accepts donations, though few people are able to pay in these times," said the passerby.  
Sakura noticed the tray at his feet as the show came to an end. Quickly drawing out some money, she set it upon the tray. Very few other people did so, though they were probably short of coin. To Sakura's surprise, Orassi moved forward and nodded to her. "My thanks to you. May I know your name?"

Sakura wasn't used to people being that interested in her. Well, except Naruto, but his gaze wasn't as hard as Orassi's. "Oh, um, I'm Sakura Haruno. I'm a Leaf Ninja."

"Haruno?" asked Orassi. "That name is familiar, I believe the family was once part of the Sand."

"Right, we immigrated to the Leaf when the economy went down," said Sakura. "How did you know?"

Orassi smiled. "I used to live there as well, and I'm quite familiar with genealogy. Even without the name, however, your hair is a dead giveaway. The hue of sakura petals is one that is rarely seen beyond the realm of the Sand." He ran a black-gloved hand through a strand of her hair as wind blew through them.

Sakura found her mouth was a bit dry. She hadn't been this flustered in... well a long time. "So um, those puppets of yours are truly beautiful. I've never seen anything so lifelike."

"Thank you," said Orassi. "It takes a great deal of skill and effort to hollow them out without damaging the surface. One misstep and the base materials become unusable except as spare parts."

"Spare parts?" asked Sakura.

"Yes, sometimes a puppet may be damaged," said Orassi, unsummoning his puppets. "One does not want to replace them completely, so I use other elements. For instance, a limb may be replaced. A particular joint can be swapped out.

"After a certain amount of damage, however, it becomes unusable.

"I've yet to be able to create a truly eternal puppet."

Sakura shifted and remembered that Sasori was also a wielder of puppetmaster jutsu. What were the chances that two of them would be here at once? Then she remembered Sasori, that hunched over figure. He'd been far too short and squat, and his voice had been nothing like Orassi's. And why would Sasori have made a big show of using puppets anyway, it would be a dead giveaway. Besides, if Sasori wanted to take her as a hostage, he could literally have just punched her in the face.

Nobody here could have stopped her. And it wasn't like Sakura knew anything worthwhile to learn anyway.

"It sounds pretty complicated," said Sakura. "So, you're still in training?"

"No one who is wise ever stops training," said Sasori. "Life is much like puppetry, except with an infinite number of strings. Pull one, and you get a certain reaction, but pull too hard or often, and that reaction can damage it. You have to learn balance, to pull the strings in the right order and timing.

"And there is never enough time to learn them all.

"Only a fool, however, declares himself the master of their own craft. Once you do that, you assume you know everything and cease to develop."

"Listen, this is fascinating and all, but I need to get back to the bridge," said Sakura.

Orassi blinked. "The bridge that Tazuna is building, yes?"

"Yeah, that's it," said Sakura. "We're trying to help break Gato's hold on the Land of Waves."

"Would you mind if I accompanied you?" asked Orassi.

Sakura blinked in surprise. "Why do you want to go there?"

"I have an interest in woodworking, and Tazuna is well-documented as a master of his craft," said Orassi. "It would be nice to see a Master in action."

"I thought you said one should never declare oneself a master," said Sakura.

"Of course not," said Orassi. "But others may do so in your stead. Who we are is largely determined by how others perceive us."

"Ah, right," said Sakura. "I don't think Tazuna would have a problem with that. Though I'll have to ask him before I let you near."

"Of course, I don't desire to be an inconvenience," said Orassi.

"It's no problem," said Sakura. It occurred to her that Orassi might be working for Sasori. If so, she could probably learn something about him. If she gave him a flat refusal, he might try to take her prisoner or something, so don't.

And so they began to walk. As they did, Sakura looked to him. "So, where did you learn those skills? The puppetmaster jutsu is a specialization of the Sand Village."

"It is," said Orassi. "I was taught a few particular techniques by my grandmother and became quite good at them. However, I am no longer employed by the Sand."

"Why not?" asked Sakura.

"There simply isn't as much work," admitted Orassi. "The Leaf Village has begun to pouch missions from the Feudal Lord of the Land of Wind. He regards them as more reliable, and the Kazekage has been hard-pressed to find paying work.

"For my part, I've never enjoyed violence.

"My passion is for puppetry. I like to turn raw material into something that will endure the ages. But during my time working for the Kazekage, I was usually sent on dangerous missions. I fought many opponents, killed many, and lost friends, and nothing I did had any lasting value. And those I served treated me as a weapon.

"So, I left."

Wait what.

Sakura was... 90% sure you couldn't just walk out of a Hidden Village. "So, you're a rogue ninja?"

"Technically, yes," admitted Orassi. "In truth, however, there are countless rogue ninjas who slip between the cracks. They are not worth pursuing. You would not see my face in any of today's bingo books."

"Well, that's good to know," said Sakura. If Orassi had been some kind of enemy agent, he wouldn't have been so open about the fact.

"So tell me, Sakura, what is it that brought you out here?" asked Orassi. "You're a full-fledged ninja. Surely someone else could have gone for groceries?"

'Finally, some goddamn respect!' snapped Inner Sakura.

"You don't have to tell me if the mission is secret," said Orassi.

"Well, to be honest, I don't think Kakashi-sensei has much of a use for me," admitted Sakura. They made their way out of the main town. "Naruto and Sasuke are incredibly talented and powerful. Both have their own unique powers and are really good, I'm just...

"Well, I don't know any worthwhile skills. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to catch up to Naruto or Sasuke. And Kakashi-sensei has only been...

"Well, he keeps training me to break genjutsu, but I don't think Sasori or Deidara know any genjutsu! I read their stats, they're both weapon specialists!"

"Perhaps he does not want you to be injured," mused Orassi.

"What?" asked Sakura.

"Given that you are already weaker than Naruto and Sasuke, it may be his plan to keep you safe in battle," said Sasori. "Rather than for you to participate."

"Maybe, I just..." Sakura sighed. "I feel like I'm not any help at all."

As they went out of sight of town, there was a blur. A sort of moment where Sakura lost track of where she was. Then she and Orassi were walking. She had the feeling that she ought to part ways with him before she reached the bridge.

"You should ask him to teach you a jutsu," said Orassi.

"What? What kind?" asked Sakura, looking at Orassi with obvious attention.

"Whatever kind you desire," said Orassi. "Kakashi has a reputation for knowing many jutsu. If you asked him to teach you a specific one, perhaps one your comrades don't know, he might teach you."

"But shouldn't I wait for him to teach me things?" asked Sakura, wondering why she'd already taken his word to heart.

"Is there any harm that could come from asking?" asked Orassi.

"I guess not," said Sakura. "Thanks."

That settled it, Sakura had been way too passive so far. If she was going to become stronger, she needed to take a pro-active role in things. So she'd badged Kakashi-sensei to give her some kind of jutsu technique until he did.

Why did her head hurt?

'This guy is really nice. But kind of mysterious,' said Inner Sakura, who seemed different.

As they reached the settlement, Sakura began to become a little unsettled. Inner Sakura didn't usually change that quickly. She was the part of Sakura that Sakura didn't want to show to other people.

The thought process was disrupted when Naruto ran forward.

"Hey, Sakura, how's it going!" said Naruto.

His clones were working to continue building the bridge while the workmen tried to keep up.

"Oh, Naruto, this is Orassi, a puppetmaster," said Sakura, introducing her friend. Why did she regard Orassi as a friend now? "He wants to take a look at the bridge."

"Puppetmaster?" asked Naruto. "You're not one of those freaks who carves people up and uses their bodies to kill their enemies, are you?!"

"Naruto..." said Sakura, feeling very offended.

"I am somewhat eccentric, but I think you're being a bit harsh on me," said Orassi.

"I guess, I once read this scary comic book and had nightmares for weeks," said Naruto.

"I assure you, I'm not using anyone's body as automatons," said Orassi. "My puppets take far more work to control than that, to the point where they are almost an extension of myself. Though I haven't quite made it so yet."

At that point, Sasuke showed up, and Sakura quickly stepped away from Orassi. She didn't want Sasuke to feel like she was cheating on him or anything. Wait, cheating, since when she and Sasuke were in any kind of relationship?

"Sakura, Naruto, what are you doing?" asked Sasuke.

"Oh, this is Orassi," said Naruto. "He wants to look around."

"Sure, well, he can look around from over there. He's not going anywhere near the bridge," said Sasuke flatly.

"Oh come on, Sasuke, he's a really nice guy," said Sakura.

"Will, both of you, get a clue," said Sasuke. "We're bodyguarding someone the mob wants dead. We can't just let random people walk in and talk to him."

"What do you mean?" asked Naruto.

"Think," said Sasuke. "You're Gato. You want to kill Tazuna, but the ninja guarding him have watchers all over the place. What do you do, other than go in guns a blazing?"

"Try to sneak in," said Naruto.

"Yeah, and what better way to sneak in, then do it in plain sight," said Sasuke. "Nobody is seeing Tazuna, who hasn't been vetted. No exceptions."

"Fine, whatever," said Naruto. "Sorry Orassi, we've kind of got some issues to deal with."

"It's quite alright," said Orassi. "My interest is more in the bridge itself, anyway. I did want to speak about Tazuna about its construction. But observing it being built is educational enough."

"So what's so interesting about the bridge?" asked Sakura, as Naruto and Sasuke headed off.

"Tazuna's bridges have a reputation for lasting years longer than others," said Orassi. "He is well known as a master builder. For one such as myself, whose interest lies in the construction of eternal monuments, it is a must-see."

"I thought you were a puppetmaster?" asked Sakura.

"I prefer to think of myself as an artist," said Orassi. "One whose creations serve a use beyond mere spectacle."

For a time, they watched, and Orassi told Sakura about the Sand Village and the various powers within it. It turned out that Rasa, the Head of the Sand Village, he turned his own son into a Jinchuuriki. There were other things they discussed. These were when no one else was in earshot, and Sakura had the feeling these were important.

But she couldn't quite remember them afterward.

When the day ended, Sakura could not quite remember when Orassi had left. However, she was suddenly seized by the urge to train. And train hard.

* * *

It was getting dark out now. Deidera waited in the darkness as his friend came back. It was really amazing how Sasori got into people's heads.

Speaking of which 'Orassi' appeared.

"So, how'd your date go?" asked Deidera.

"Master Tazuna is a true artist," said Orassi. "He has employed many techniques that would have ensured this bridge lasted lifetimes."

"Oh come on, Sasori, my man," said Deidara. "True art is transient; it only has meaning because it is finite. Blowing it up will make the memory that much more amazing.

"So uh, that Sakura girl..."

"What of her?" asked Sasori.

"Any plans?" asked Deidara.

"Several," said Sasori. "At the moment, she is a valuable source of information on the Leaf Jinchuuriki. I also pulled a few strings to get her to put aside her doubts and train obsessively.

"With proper motivation, she may become a worthwhile pursuit."

"Why?" asked Deidara. "Looking to make a new puppet?"

"Yes," said Sasori. "For that purpose, I will need adequate materials. And her hair is a rare color indeed, well worth the effort.

"Now, we need to make the arrangements for Gato's change of heart. We've kept Pain waiting long enough."


	21. Deidara, the Mad Artist

**Chapter Twenty-one: Deidara, the Mad Artist**

Kakashi had been doing a great deal of research.

It had taken a lot longer than expected to find Gato's main hideout. Several interrogations had revealed that most of his minions didn't know the location. They had bases where they operated from on his instructions. You didn't find Gato, he found you.

It was an efficient system that you wouldn't see among ordinary gangsters.

Even so, he'd managed to track it down. Now he peered through the trees toward the hideout. Drawing out his kunai, he sensed for any sign of the Akatsuki.

Nothing.

Surging in, he leaped onto the balcony and used a jutsu to slip in. Yet when he entered, he found the guards dead. They were lying in pools of their own blood, shot with needles or cut to pieces. Checking them, Kakashi noticed the blood was drying. They'd been dead for some time, at least.

Still, this was the kind of weapon Sasori used.

Could Gato be dead, then?

Kakashi decided he'd best check the whole thing before he came to any conclusions. And so he began his search. As he did, he quickly realized that there had hardly been a scuffle. These men had obviously been taken completely off guard. Yet Gato was not here; there wasn't anyone matching his description.

Could Gato and Sasori have had a falling out? If so, Gato may have been taken captive. Or perhaps he escaped after his minions died.

Either way, this changed things. Team 7's job might have ended. Or gotten a whole lot more difficult.

Kakashi sped back with double speed. The others would need to know about this.

* * *

Naruto didn't like leaving Sakura behind like this.

The reasoning sort of made sense. But getting separated was something he didn't want to do, and Sakura was not as strong as them. Though Sasuke had told her to run if she saw the Akatsuki. Still, it weighed on him as they got to Tazuna's house.

"Where's your friend?" asked Tsunami when they got back.

"Sakura is on observation duty," said Sasuke. "Since Kakashi-sensei isn't back yet, I want someone to camp out on the bridge and make sure nothing happens to it.

"Gato might send men to sabotage the bridge."

"Isn't that dangerous?" asked Tsunami.

"We are ninja," said Sasuke simply. "Risks are part of the job."

"You don't need to worry, Tsunami," said Tazuna. "We didn't see any sign of the Akatsuki while we were out there. It may be that they are above Gato's pay grade."

"Or maybe they had a falling out and killed Gato," mused Sasuke.

"Well, it's something to hope for," said Tazuna.

"...You're all going to die," said Inari, suddenly from where he hid behind Tsunami.

"Excuse me?" asked Sasuke.

"You're all going to die!" said Inari. "Sasori the Cruel is out there! Even before he came here, Gato ran down everyone who stood against him! There's no way you can beat them!"

"You don't have to worry," said Naruto quickly. "We can handle this, believe it."

"I don't believe it," said Inari. "Sasori has killed entire armies, and now he's got a partner! What makes you think you stand a chance!"

"Trust me," said Naruto, smiling. Though he didn't really feel it at all.

"...I'm cooking dinner now," said Tsunami.

"Thank you, Tsunami," said Tazuna. "Why don't we all eat and talk about this over the meal?"

"Is there anything I can do to help you in the kitchen?" asked Naruto, wanting to be helpful.

"Well, actually yes," said Tsunami. "Right this way, please."

The exact details of Inari's hopelessness were told to Naruto as he helped. It turned out that Inari's stepfather had been a hero of the Land of Waves. He'd once saved the whole village from a flood, and when Gato had come in, he'd tried to rally people.

Instead, he'd ended up dead.

Naruto felt awful for the kid. What must it have been like to lose both your father and your stepfather? Even so, there wasn't any time to talk before the meal was done, and it was time to serve it.

When Naruto went to get Sasuke, he found the other boy looking through that scroll from before. It was like he was trying to memorize it. "So, what are you doing?"

"Mind your own business," snapped Sasuke. "I'm checking my kit. You ought to do the same if you don't want to screw up again."

"Don't talk to me like you're any better at this than I am, Sasuke," shot back Naruto. "You're not."

"I'm not the one giving tours to any random person who might be a spy," replied Sasuke.

"Yeah, but you are the one who told Sakura to camp out in the rain on the bridge!" replied Naruto.

"We need someone there to keep your clones watching," said Sasuke. "If Gato sends men to blow up the bridge, Sakura can handle it. If not, she's under orders to hide."

"Quit acting like your the commander, just because you're an Uchiha!" snapped Naruto. "Kakashi-sensei didn't put you in charge!"

"Well, he might as well," snapped Sasuke. "Seeing as you and Sakura can't even do bodyguard duties without me to babysit you."

"Oh yeah, because you're usually such a great judge of character," said Naruto.

"Ahem," said Tsunami.

They looked up, "Yes?"

"Dinner is ready," said Tsunami.

"Right, thanks," said Naruto.

Naruto avoided the subject while eating the meal. Actually, he avoided talking to Sasuke deliberately. Sasuke remained silent like always, and Naruto began to get really sick of him. More sick than usual.

Yes, they had fought together side by side, and Naruto could tolerate him a bit better, but...

Nevermind, things had worked out with Sakura. They might work out with Sasuke.

"In any case, we got a lot of work done on the bridge today," said Tazuna as they finished the meal. "I expect it may take a while to finish, but with your clones, it'll be a lot faster."

"No problem, Tazuna. I can handle it," said Naruto. Then he looked to Tsunami as she cleaned up the leftovers. "Hey, um, do you have anything in this I can use to take to Sakura? I figure she'll be getting hungry."

"Of course, just let me get something," said Tsunami.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and went back to setting up his kit. Naruto waited and looked to Inari, who was somewhat morose. "Hey, Inari, is it?

"Listen, I know things look bad. But we've gotten out of worse straights. Just trust us, and it'll be fine."

"But you don't even trust eachother," said Inari.

"...Touche," said Naruto after a moment.

Still, Inari seemed to be feeling a bit better.

* * *

Sakura understood the logic.

Someone had to make sure Gato didn't send thugs to sabotage the bridge. She was likely to get in the way if it came to a fight with the Akatsuki. And by staying here, she could handle thugs, keep a watch out, and just make a run for it is Sasori showed up.

That didn't make the rain any less unpleasant.

It had started out small and gotten increasingly worse as the day went on. Eventually, Sakura had been forced to move her tent away from the bridge. Now she'd set it up in the cover of some trees. Naruto, or rather, one of Naruto's clones, was sitting with her.

"Ugh, guard duty is the worst, isn't it Sakura?" asked Naruto.

"Quit complaining, Naruto," said Sakura. "You aren't even here to begin with."

"Yeah, I know," said Naruto. "But, I can feel all of it through my shadow clones."

"So what?" asked Sakura. "That just means you'll remember doing a hard day's work without actually having to do one. You're the lucky one."

Sakura tried another punch. She thought she got it better.

"So um, what are you doing?" asked Naruto.

"Oh, I'm practicing my stances," said Sakura. "I've got a long way to go if I'm going to catch up with you and Sasuke." She'd been practicing a lot more than she ever had before. Something about the past few days had gotten her to work really hard at this.

Maybe it was meeting Orassi that had done it.

"Is now really the time?" asked Naruto. "I mean, if there's some sort of thing, you'll be all tired out."

"Relax, Naruto," said Sakura. "Gato will probably want the bridge intact anyway, it's not like-" Then she saw a white beetle scuttle into the tent.

"Look out!" shouted Naruto.

Sakura sprinted and pushed under the tent, even as Naruto landed on it. For a moment she ran and then the entire tent exploded. The trees nearby were torn to shreds, sending splinters all over the place. Sakura turned and saw the blonde man who'd been with Sasori walking forward, hands in his pockets.

Sakura took a stance. "You... Deidara."

"The one and only," said Deidara.

Then from his sleeves came dozens of tiny birds of clay. They surged toward Sakura, and she leaped back, trying to dodge them. Suddenly, dozens of Naruto's shadow clones interposed themselves. As they did, explosions rocked the area, and one bird got through.

It neared Sakura, but she took a risk and sprinted under it. As she did, it exploded, and the force threw her from her feet. She rolled through the mud, narrowly pulling herself up. Beetles of white clay scuttled toward her, and she leaped.

A moment later, the world went white.

Thrown back, she landed hard, cushioned only by the mud. Pulling herself up, she felt it under her nails. She was filthy, and Deidara was coming forward. His hands were in his pockets, but one of his hands was kept near the bag at his side.

"Gotta admit, it's been a while since I ran into someone who lasted that long," said Deidara. "But your shadow clone friends seem have run out."

"What... how did you get past all of Naruto's clones without anyone seeing?" asked Sakura.

"Well, I am an infiltration specialist," said Deidara, raising a hand. "For instance!"

Sakura didn't take a moment to look for what he was doing. She sprang back and made a run for it, even as a centipede surged up where she'd been. Drawing a kunai, she hurled it and cut the thing in two. A moment later, it exploded. She could feel the heat on her face, and her hand was burned.

Deidara reached into his bag.

Sakura hurled a kunai at him, but he caught it between two fingers. As he did, she rolled for cover. He drew out clay but didn't do anything.

"What's wrong? Afraid of my art?" asked Deidara.

Sakura charged at him, kunai in hand. However, Deidara effortlessly leaped over her, setting a hand on her shoulder. Before she could respond, he shoved her down, and she hit the ground. Looking to her shoulder, she saw a beetle scuttling up her neck. With a cry, Sakura grabbed it and threw it away, before scrambling back.  
Then Sakura saw Deidara hurling three large birds. They were heading for the bridge. Instantly Sakura knew she had to act and drew out her kunai. She had to save the bridge.

Running forward, she hurled kunai after kunai. Two of the birds were caught in midair and exploded. The third descended, but she got it at the last minute. The explosion rocked the top of the bridge and blew a hole in the top.

Deidara blinked and turned to her. "Huh, you actually hit those. I'll admit, that's a lot better than I was expecting from a genin. Still, I don't think you're worth wasting anymore of my art on."

"Don't take me lightly," said Sakura.

"Well, you asked for it, not me," said Deidara.

Then he surged forward. Before Sakura could move, Deidara's fist slammed into her gut. The air was thrown from her lungs. A moment later, she was slammed into the mud and muck. Turning around, she saw Deidara raising a kunai.

And then, Naruto was there.

Deidara surged back, dodging and weaving as Naruto unleashed a flurry of punches. The blonde Akatsuki redirected Naruto's strikes, backing away as he kept him at bay.

Finally, he caught Naruto's fist, and judo threw him toward a tree.

Naruto turned in midair and caught himself on a branch, spinning around and landing on the branch. Even as he did, Deidara had sent a bird, and Naruto leaped into the air just in time to avoid being blasted.

Sakura scrawled to her knees, gasping. As she did, Naruto landed and helped her to her feet.

"Sakura!" said Naruto. "Are you alright?"

"Naruto, you're here," said Sakura.

"That's right," said Naruto. "I was here to bring you some dinner. Then my clones died." He turned back to Deidara, who was smiling as a wind sent his blonde hair flowing.

"From the looks of things, I got here just in time."

"Where's Sasuke?" asked Sakura.

"Guarding Tazuna," said Naruto. "He doesn't know."

"Just who are you supposed to be, exactly?" asked Deidara.

"The names Naruto Uzumaki!" said Naruto. "And I'm the one whose going to take you down! Believe it!"

"Naruto Uzumaki," said Deidara. "The Leaf Jinchuuriki, huh?"

"Jinchuuri-wha?" said Naruto.

Sakura blinked. The Leaf Jinchuuriki? Naruto? There had to be some kind of mistake here.

"Nine-tailed fox?" said Deidara, surprised.

"You mean that giant monster that the Fourth died taking out?" asked Naruto.

Deidara. "You mean, you don't know? Well, it's not my job to tell you. The important thing is that I just got a payday big time."

"Naruto, that bag!" said Sakura.

"What about it?" asked Naruto.

"Deidara makes his models from clay he takes out of that bag!" said Sakura. "If you can get it away from him-"

"You catch on too quick for your own good!" said Deidara.

And then dozens of birds surged from Deidara's hands, surrounding them from all sides. As one, they descended. But Naruto made hand motions. "Wind style: Hurricane Shield!

Whirlwinds surrounded him, sending the birds into disarray. A moment later, they exploded in unison. The fire was all around them, but none of it touched them. It passed, and Naruto was panting. Then he made hand motions.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" said Naruto. "Kamikaze Striker!"

Four shadow clones appeared and leaped toward Deidara as one. As they did, they tore off their vests to reveal explosive tags. Deidara leaped into the air, but as he did, a Naruto Shadow Clone came from behind and caught him in a grip. Even as he did, however, Deidara threw him off and spun away. A moment later, a massive explosion delved a crater in the earth as Deidara landed at the edge of the cliff.

He turned and wiped the blood from one cheek. Then he smiled.

"What was that?" asked Deidara.

"I create shadow clones of myself and send them out," said Naruto, creating more. "Then I use explosive tags I keep on my chest to blow them sky high."

More Kamikaze Clones surged toward Deidara; however, he spun into the air above them. As they followed, Deidara unleashed clay birds. The two collided in midair, and a massive explosion tore through the air. Propelled upwards, Deidara righted himself in midair and hurled another model. This one expanded to form into a bird that he landed on.

Flying upon it, Deidara surged into place above where'd he'd been before. Naruto created a number more clones and smiled. "Like it?"

"Very much," said Deidara. "You, my friend, have a real knack for artistry."

"Thanks, but uh..." said Naruto. "It's more like a technique."

Deidera reached into his bag and began to get more clay as the two-faced one another down. What was Naruto doing here? "True art is transient, only passing. It exists for only a perfect moment and then is gone forever. True art... is an explosion?"

"I kind of figured art was painting on a blank canvass," said Naruto.

That got under Deidara's skin. "Quiet!"

Beetles burrowed up from the ground around them. As they did, Naruto grabbed Sakura and leaped away with her over one shoulder. She saw the area where they'd been blasted to pieces, even as Naruto landed.

However, his clones had scattered and were coming all around Deidara. Sakura had expected him to use his birds again. Instead, however, Deidara surged out of range of them. He hurled kunai through each one before they could explode.

Was he running out of ammunition?

"Same old tricks again, huh?" asked Deidara.

"Not quite," said Naruto.

And then out of the trees, Deidara was hiding in came four clones. Deidara was caught dead to rites as they motioned. Then they exploded into liquid and soaked Deidara all over. As it did, the bird he was riding on lost control. It crashed down, and Deidara landed on the ground, unable to move.

"Got you! Hah!" said Naruto, moving forward. "That's my trademark Uzumaki Medical striker! I used it to take out that guy Tobi before! Works every time!"

"So, those clones of your can do more than explode huh," said Deidara with a laugh. "Well, I've got some bad news for you. Those models you dodged...

"They aren't the only art I've made today."

"What?" said Naruto.

Deidara rose up. Then he rushed toward them, and his form began to become bloated as flames surged through him. Sakura and Naruto leaped aside, and Deidara exploded, shattering the trees and ground.

"A clone..." said Sakura. "That was a clone!"

Then the real Deidara came out of the woods, wearing his bag. "A clone made from detonating clay. One of my best inventions.

"After all, true art is not merely the act of creation. It is the act of imparting an aspect of yourself into the thing you are making. What greater artistry is there than to become art itself!"

Naruto blinked. "...So does that me a better artist than you?"

"What?" said Deidara. "No, what could possibly make you think that!"

"Well, I mean, you're talking like explosions are art. You're saying that by having a clone detonate, you are becoming art," said Naruto. "But I create clones that explode all the time; it's not even hard.

"So, I guess that makes my art better than yours."

"What are you babbling about!" snarled Deidara in a fury. "Your art is nothing to mine! You create a few shadow clones and make them explode! It's nothing but a momentary manifestation of ego! Every clay sculpture I create is unique; each one lovingly crafted within my own body! I pour my very heart and soul into unique details!

"Your art, if it can be called that, is nothing but mass-produced, soulless noise!"

"A few seconds ago, you said it was pretty good," said Naruto.

Deidara regained his composure a bit. "Well obviously, but I was speaking as a master to a rank amateur. Compared to mine, your art is nothing."

"So are explosions actually considered an art form, Sakura?" asked N

"Well, I think there are firework guilds," said Sakura.

"Oh, so you're a master from the fireworks guilds then! Wow, that's pretty cool!" said Naruto.

Deidara went very still for a moment. "...No, I'm not part of a guild."

"Then how do you know your art is better than mine?" asked Naruto. "I mean, you're that older than me. So maybe we're both just amateurs, and you just think you're a master.

"Maybe you're just a newbie with delusions of grandeur."

Deidara went very still. "...It seems that I'm going to have to prove my reputation then! Fine! Let's see how you like this!" Raising a hand, he called forth new models, these in the shape of hawks. They rose into the air and one-handed on Deidara's hand.

"Eh, six out of ten," said Sakura, seeing her chance.

And then Deidara sent the hawk toward her. "Die!"

It moved far faster than Sakura could dodge, but Naruto put clones in the way. An explosion rocked the air, and Sakura was thrown down. "What? I'm the customer giving a review."

"You have absolutely no right to judge my art!" snarled Deidara, sending legions of beetles toward them. "My art is perfection!"

Naruto sent his clones and set them off ahead of time. Clustered together, all of them blew up in moments.

"Isn't that my call?" asked Sakura. "I mean, I am the person who is experiencing the art. And you said art is an emotional experience.

"Well, my emotion is:

"Six. Out. Of. Ten."

Deidara went berserk. He unleashed more birds, but these were not like the others. They looked like they'd been hacked out in a hurry. They surged at Sakura, but there was no care or effort put into their attack. She was able to dodge these ones far easier, and as Deidara threw more, she realized this was getting easier.

"Oh, I get it," said Sakura. "It's a gimmick.

"See, with all those speeches, I always figured you considered yourself an artist. But this is really more like something you adapt for style points. Like you want your name to stand out, so you adopt the whole mad artist thing for a brand."

"Brand?" asked Naruto. "What do you mean, Sakura?"

"Well, it's like that Ninjamania thing," said Sakura. "Team Guy put on a big show and stuff to entertain the crowd, but they weren't really their characters.

"But it made them stick in people's minds.

"I think Deidara pretends to consider explosives art because it makes him memorable. He's marketing himself!"

"MY ART IS NOT A BRAND!" roared Deidara.

At this point, he wasn't so much throwing models at them as hand grenades with wings. The explosions blasted huge pits in the earth. A lot of trees were destroyed, but Sakura could respond. His attacks were clumsy, and he seemed to be just trying to blow everything in sight up. And whenever he came too close, Naruto would counter it.

"Sakura, stop getting him mad!" said Naruto, who was being pushed.

"Geeze, is this the best you've got?" asked Sakura. "This stuff is really just a repeat of the stuff you did before with no original ideas. I get that hand grenade to get results, but can't you come up with anything original."

"DIE!" snarled Deidara.

And then, Deidara changed strategies. He stopped aiming. Instead, he just threw out more and more models in their general location. It was like a massive net, and as they came forward, Sakura realized they wouldn't be able to block it.

"Wind style: Hurricane Shield!" cried Naruto.

The wind surged around them again, and the explosions hit them. Even if the fire didn't get through, the force nearly through Sakura off her feet. Then another wave of models hit the shield, another, then another.

"Sakura, stop provoking him!" said Naruto. "I can't keep this up forever."

"You don't have to," said Sakura as the wind died down. "Just keep it up until he runs out of clay."

The wind faded, and Deidara swooped overhead. Sakura smiled. "That one almost hit me. Maybe you should go into mining work, and you don't have to hit moving targets there.

With a feral roar, Deidara sent his bird itself toward them as he leaped off. They split, and the explosion surged around them. Sakura was sent tumbling head over heels and hit back first into a tree. Falling to the ground, she gasped for air.

Deidara began to laugh. "What's the matter? No more reviews from the uneducated peons who don't know what they want? No, well then...

"WHY DON'T WE FINISH THIS DISPLAY!"

He reached into his pack and came up empty. "What...

"My detonating clay."

"Now, Naruto! Get him!" said Sakura, pulling herself up painfully.

"Looks like you're fresh out of projects!" cried Naruto, creating a lot of clones to completely surround Deidara.

"You..." said Deidara, "you never interested in my art! YOU WERE JUST GETTING A RISE OUT OF ME, SO I'D RUN OUT OF CLAY!"

"You catch on quick!" said the Narutos in unison as they surged forward from all sides. "FINAL VERDICT! ONE OUT OF TEN!"

On the one hand, Deidara was a far more skilled and experienced combatant. On the other hand, he was outnumbered by hundreds. Naruto slammed into him from all sides, and he hardly had a chance to fight back before they were on him.

One brutal beatdown later, Naruto was healing Sakura. Meanwhile, Deidara was lying unconscious on the ground. Sakura wondered if she should find this romantic or something, but she was honestly too tired.

"Hey, Sakura, that was really sharp, provoking him like that," said Naruto. "If he'd been fighting smart, I'd have been done for."

"It's uh..." Sakura paused, feeling really good about herself for the first time in forever. "Well, it seemed the proper thing to do is all, Naruto."

Today had been a good day.

Sakura passed out.


	22. Sasori, the Puppeteer of Flesh

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Sasori, the Puppeteer of Flesh**

Eventually, they picked themselves up and got to work tying up Deidara. Sakura made sure to gag him as well; she'd had all she could take of his bragging. Naruto, meanwhile, looked really beat for once. As they worked, a bit of a mist began to rise up around them so they couldn't see very well through the broken wreckage.

"Come on, Sakura, we'd better head back home and tell Sasuke what happened here," said Naruto.

And then, out of the mist rushed a short, brown-haired man in a business suit. The suit was torn, and he was running with a look of panic on his face. Falling to his knees, he pointed at them. "You! You!"

"Who are you?" asked Sakura.

"No time for that!" said the man. "I need your protection!"

"From who?" asked Naruto.

"I'm Gato, and the Akatsuki are-" began the man.

Naruto and Sakura both drew knives, and Gato scrambled backward. "-they're trying to kill me! I can testify! I can testify, and it'll put some really bad people behind bars for years!"

"Who!" asked Naruto.

Sakura totally agreed.

"Ninja," said Gato. "People in the Leaf. People from all kinds of nations. If I testify, it could bring down a whole criminal syndicate."

"How do we know this isn't a trap?" asked Sakura.

"Sasori's gone nuts!" said Gato. "I got angry at him for botching the job of killing you and...

"He started killing people. He wiped out the core of my gang and took over. I had to hide for my life, and he's taken over my gang!"

Sakura sheathed her kunai and peered around for a trap. "Fine, I'm going to tie you and your buddy Deidara up, and Kakashi-sensei will decide what to do with you.

"Now move, gangster man!

"And for a start, you can tell us what Sasori was doing?"

Sakura drew out more rope and started tying up Gato while Naruto watched. Gato shuddered. "I don't know; he just said something about sending most of the goons after Tazuna!"

"Tazuna?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah, he got together all my boys, and he wants them all to converge on Tazuna's house at once," said Gato.

Sakura looked to Naruto. This was really bad. If Gato was telling the truth... "Naruto, we've got to do something about all this."

"Right, I'll create some clones and..." Naruto sighed. "I'm nearly out of chakra, Sakura. I blew almost all of it fighting Deidara. What if he gets loose?"

Sakura hoped things worked out here. She and Naruto weren't going to be any help in this.

* * *

Sasuke was sitting on a branch under the night sky, reading the scroll Orochimaru had given him.

It was fairly ornate, but it seemed to have a different function from a standard Edo Tensei. Sasuke had ready about the functions of it, and this one was slightly different. The original formed the specter around the corpse of the sacrifice. This one, however, was a perfect conversion. It consumed the corpse to create a new one. Though it didn't have as much power as the base spell.

"...I think I've got this scroll memorized," Sasuke murmured to himself. "If I just use this, I could resurrect someone, anyone of my choice—definitely Mom. Father and I were never exactly close, and it has to be from my immediate family.

"Now, I just need someone to use for it?

"I need a sacrifice.

"Wait a minute; what am I thinking? These are Forbidden Jutsu. If I used one of these casually, they'd strip me of my rank.

"But...

"What if it was in a crisis?" Sasuke considered that angle. If he could argue that he used the jutsu to save the mission, maybe he could get away with it. Tobirama had used this kind of jutsu, after all.

And then, suddenly, Sasuke heard a ringing.

Glancing up, he drew out a scroll and checked the scroll. Several of his traps had been activated, and in the distance, he heard an explosion. Turning, he raced into the house and up the stairs. Banging on the doors, he opened them.

"All of you get up, now!" said Sasuke.

"What?" said Tazuna, sitting up. "What's wrong?"

"My traps were just triggered," said Sasuke. "There are men coming to this house right now."

"Traps, what traps?" asked Tsunami, pulling herself up.

"I've been assembling a series of traps and systems in place to protect this house," said Sasuke. "There are-" He heard more explosions, one after another as if they were just marching on. How had they not even been slowed down? "Nevermind, get the packs we set up and make a run for it to the south. They're mostly coming from the east."

"Can you take them?" asked Inari as they rose.

"Of course," said Sasuke. "But I need you out of here. Tazuna, take Tsunami and Inari and head south for the town. I'll hold them here."

Then Sasuke raced off.

Quickly getting to the top of a tree, Sasuke raced across the forest and saw the men moving forward. There seemed like there were hundreds of them, marching forward in ranks, five feet apart. Whenever they ran into a trap, several were consumed or pulled up. But they just kept on moving forward.

Pits fell out from under them, and they fell onto spikes. Other ropes grabbed them and pulled them up to hang. Yet, no matter how many were caught, they just moved on without glancing up.

"So, what are we up against here anyway?" said one.

"Nothing much," said another. "Maybe one or two ninja. They can't possibly take us all."

Sasuke had to do something about that. So he dropped down onto a branch and drew out kunai. "You morons sure about that?"

They turned around and looked at Sasuke. "You, who the hell are you? Beat it, kid, we're here for Tazuna."

"Well, that's going to be a problem," said Sasuke, waiting to see them gather around. "See, the old man's under my protection. So I guess you muscleheads will have to beat it."

"Take him," said the man.

Sasuke hurled the kunai and caught two in the throat, and they fell dead. Backflipping over them, he hurled two more kunai and killed two more. He'd seen more than his share of corpses when Itachi had massacred his clan. Compared to those, these slime were easy to watch die.

Yet there were a lot of them.

And they came at him all at once. They didn't flinch when blood spattered over them. And no matter how many Sasuke killed, there were more coming in around. Sasuke kept on having to move to avoid them. Yet even as he tried to get distance, others came in from behind, pressuring him. Soon he was running out of kunai.

The bodies of his enemies were all around Sasuke, and yet there were always more.

How many more would he have to kill? Any ordinary group of thugs would have run! What was pushing them?

No.

Who was pushing them?

Then Sasuke noticed a large amount of the enemy heading after Tazuna. Surging through the trees, he saw them catching up to Tazuna's group. Inari fell, and they were nearly on him. Then Sasuke surged down and barred their way. A spear slashed the top of his shoulder before he drove his kunai into the man's stomach and shoved him back.

There was no way Sasuke was botching this mission.

"Sasuke!" said Tazuna.

"Go!" shouted Sasuke as he slashed several down. "GET OUT OF HERE! I CAN HANDLE THIS!"

At last, they were dead, and Tazuna and his family were running. Still, at the same time, Sasuke saw more coming down the path toward him.

"What the hell is happening here?" muttered Sasuke. "These guys aren't just thugs. They're fighting as one entity. This is the kind of coordination I could only expect from training Shinobi.

"But individually, they're slackers."

Activating his Sharingan, Sasuke peered through the woods as he slashed. As a man fell dead before him, Sasuke spotted something in the woods.

"Fire style: Fireball Jutsu!" cried Sasuke.

He blew a wave of flames toward the figure. It consumed a whole line of thugs, burning them to ashes in instants. And as they reached the far edge, there was a blur. As the flames died down, Sasori landed before him.

"Sasori," said Sasuke. "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

Even as it surged toward him, however, many thugs leaped in front of the flames. They formed a wall of bodies that warded off the fire. Finally, the ashes faded away, and Sasori was unharmed. "I'm impressed that you managed to notice my presence here. As you can see, Gato's thugs are under new management."

More of them formed in front of Sasuke, who stepped back. These guys were taunting him, but they were like puppets. Except these were puppets without any strings.

"How are you doing this?" asked Sasuke.

"A kind of puppetry, if you must know," said Sasori. "Once you learn to put strings into a mind, you can get it to do whatever you want.

"Right now, I have an unending tide of puppets to remove you."

"Well then, all I have to do is strike you down!" said Sasuke.

Then he leaped over the thugs and surged toward Sasori. Even as he did, however, needles surged from Sasori's cloak toward him. Sasuke knocked several back, but several hit him in the leg. Falling backward, Sasuke caught himself and rolled away into the underbrush. That was mere moments before a tail of metal hacked where Naruto had been.

"And how do you intend to do that?" asked Sasori. "Speak quickly; I hate keeping people waiting."

Sasuke sprinted into the forest, before turning to rush along the path. "...Sasori is sending his minions after Tazuna now that he can't get me. But if I go out there, I'll be cut to pieces. Where the hell is Kakashi-sensei and Naruto when I need them?

"I can't take an S ranked ninja and an army.

"Wait..." Sasuke halted and drew out the scroll. Glancing back, he saw Sasori's minions coming after them. "Father was powerful. Nearly as powerful as the Legendary Sannin.

"If I could summon him, maybe his spirit could handle this for me. This is what the Edo Tensei was meant for anyway! I just need a subject..."

His gaze peered at one person, walking alone.

"There.

"He'll do!"

Drawing his kunai, Sasuke clutched the scroll.

And then Kakashi caught his wrist. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked up. "Kakashi-sensei?"

"Sorry it took so long," said Kakashi. "I'll deal with Sasori; you just focus on taking care of Tazuna and the others. We'll talk later."

Sasuke nodded. "...Right."

They separated, and Sasuke raced onto the path. Once again, he saw the thugs rushing toward the path. Leaping between them, Sasuke readied himself. "Come on! I'll take you all myself! Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

A wave of flame consumed many ranks, but still, more of them were coming.

"Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

More came.

"Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

And still more. Sasuke fell to one knee, ready to continue fighting with kunai as they came. "I can't...

"There are...

"Too many of them."

And then an arrow shot one of the thugs in the throat. They halted, and Sasuke glanced back. Standing down the path was a great crowd of villagers. But they were clad in leather armor and wielding crossbows. Tazuna was at their head. "Stay back, you bastards! Leave the boy alone, or you'll deal with us."

"Well, well, the fishermen want to hunt big game now," said a thug with a sneer. "What makes you think you'll do any good against us?"

The villagers replied with a rain of arrows.

The thugs charged.

Sasuke ducked for cover just in time.

Kakashi had forgotten how much he hated fighting Sasori.

The puppetmaster had changed in size and shape since last time they'd fight. But though he appeared as a hunchback, he leaped nimbly around. Needles were constantly being shot at Kakashi, who kept his distance.

However, their battle came to a halt as both looked down the path.

A full-scale battle was now taking place. The villagers of the Land of Waves had mobilized. Now they were fighting with the thugs with spears and crossbows. They had numbers and seemed to be doing well. But the thugs were fearless, and some had training.

"So, from the looks of things, the Land of Waves has grown a spine," noted Sasori. "A full-on battle is taking place now, the likes of which has not been seen since the Shinobi Wars." The puppetmaster made a movement and waves of arms shot through his robes toward Kakashi.

"This is your responsibility," said Kakashi, weaving away from the arms. "Men like you have driven the people of the Land of Waves to desperation. Now they are fighting back to liberate themselves from your tyranny." He landed and saw Sasori for what he was.

A puppet.

The body before him seemed to be made of wood, with four legs. It clambered around nimbly, which meant Sasori must have been within.

"I admit, the Leaf Village has done an excellent job of pulling their strings," mused Sasori.

"The Leaf?" asked Kakashi. "What would you know of us?"

"As much as you, perhaps more," said Sasori. "Surely you do not think that Gato established his holdings here unnoticed?

"Haven't you ever wondered why Gato chose to run this place into the ground? Why he decided to systematically ruin the economy with brute force. An intelligent operator like him could have turned this place into a base of operations.

"But then...

"That wasn't his mission, was it?

"No, if the Land of Waves was prosperous, able to grow in power and prestige, they might become a threat to the Land of Fire. Better for all your neighbors to be miserable and weak."

"The Hokage would never do something like that!" said Kakashi.

"Does he have to?" asked Sasori. "Or has he merely given the power to men who would be willing to? How much about the Root Foundation do you really know, Kakashi Hatake?"

Kakashi decided enough was enough. It was time to take a chance. "I know enough." Lightning flickered in his hand. "Chidori!"

Then he activated his Sharingan and surged forward.

Sasori unleashed waves of needles, but Kakashi dodged and weaved around them. Immense numbers of arms shot down toward him, but with the Sharingan, he was just able to avoid them. At last, he got to the body and stabbed downward.

His strike smashed the puppet, but just as he did, it opened, and something rushed out of it.

The puppet shattered into a million, flaming pieces. Sasori landed beyond, looking much as he had the last time they'd fought. He hadn't aged a day.

"This ends today," said Kakashi.

Sasori threw back his cloak to reveal his redhaired face without expression. "I would love nothing more than to make you into one of my collection to replace the puppet you destroyed. However, I'm afraid I cannot waste any more time with you.

"We'll meet again when the fate of the Leaf is to be decided."

Kakashi surged toward him, but before he could strike, Sasori sent a wave of flame from beneath his robes. The heat forced Kakashi to withdraw, and Sasori was gone when it cleared.

Kakashi didn't pursue him. He headed straight to help Sasuke.


	23. Falling Action

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Falling Action**

The Battle of the Land of Waves, as it would be called later, was quite large.

There had been no great number of Shinobi involved in it, of course, only bandits, ronin, and villagers. But it had been gruesome. Men had been shot down dead in vast rows by crossbows, while others were hacked up with swords. And it was not limited to the wood.

In other places, villagers had attacked Gato's garrisons. They'd shot them up wherever they found them. Lynch mobs were forged to rip up many of the businessman's underbosses, and blood ran in the streets.

Fortunately, almost all of it belonged to the thugs.

The villagers had taken them by surprise, and no plan of battle had been made, and most were killed by arrows. Kakashi had observed them in action as he returned and doubted very much that it would be easy to come back. It was technically a good thing.

But not good for the Leaf.

The Leaf preferred for the Land of Fire's satellite nations to remain weak. That way, they could act as buffer states between the others. Now the whole village had won a war with only a little help from ninja. That meant they might start getting ideas of independence.

Part of Kakashi pointed out that it wasn't a bad thing. Certainly, the people here would be much better off.

At the same time, independent nations went to war. In a few generations, the Land of Fire might feel very differently about this uprising.

"It was Inari who did it," said Tazuna afterward. The old man had his arm in a sling where he'd been badly injured. Fortunately, there were those who knew healing jutsu among the Land of Waves. It is a useful civilian skill. "When we ran to the others, we were going to ask for shelter. But Inari started telling people they had to go fight the thugs and help the ninja. Then he ran off to try and ring the alarm. We went with him to keep him safe, but then a rumor went out that we were gathering for war, and everybody came out with guns.

"We got together a few people and scattered all over town, getting together a militia. By the time the thugs realized what we were doing, it was too late.

"It was lucky we did too.

"If we hadn't, I'm afraid Sasuke would have been overwhelmed."

"I don't plan on making a habit of it," said Sasuke.

Kakashi glanced at him and considered bringing up the matter of the scroll. After a moment, he decided to put it off. There were more pressing things to attend to. But how had he gotten such a device?

"Where is Inari now?" asked Kakashi.

"I'm here," said Inari, pulling himself out of the bushes. He was holding a crossbow which had launched. "Grandpa I... well, I wanted to be a hero like you and the others, like Naruto. But, well, after I missed, I couldn't figure out how to reload and-"

"Don't worry," said Tazuna. "I'm just glad you're safe. Still, what was it that inspired you to do this in the first place?"

"Well, I..." Inari paused. "It was Naruto; he reminded me of Dad. And then I thought that Dad wouldn't want us running. With Sasuke and Naruto and all the others fighting, I knew that I had to do something.

"So, I thought...

"If we all rose up like Dad wanted us to, we'd be able to deal with Gato."

"It was well-timed," said Kakashi. "But you're lucky I was there to deal with Sasori. Still, that leaves Deidara unaccounted for." He looked to Sasuke. "Sasuke, where are Sakura and Naruto?"

"I sent Sakura to guard the bridge in case Gato tried to sabotage it. I ordered her to run if the Akatsuki showed up," said Sasuke, looking in a bad mood. "Naruto went to give her some food and never came back. The idiot is probably sleeping."

"The bridge?" asked a man. "You're friends were down there?"

"Naruto's not my friend, but yes, what of it?" said Sasuke.

"I saw all kinds of explosions that direction," said the man.

Kakashi went cold. "Explosions?

"No."

He sprinted off with all his might. The last thing he wanted was for history to repeat itself again.

* * *

There had, apparently, been a lot of fighting.

A couple of shadow clones had reported to Naruto that it was largely over. He'd only had enough chakra to summon them by the time it was well underway. So now he and Sakura were eating lunch together.

Yeah, they were covered in dirt and grime, sore from a lot of work and exhausted. But they were sitting on top of a bound and gagged S ranked ninja. So it balanced out.

"I feel like I'm back at the academy, eating my lunch after acing my exams," said Naruto, looking up at the clouds.

"Except, you never actually passed any of the tests," said Sakura.

"Well, I'm more of a learn by doing kind of guy anyway," said Naruto.

Then both of them burst out laughing, as Naruto lit a pipe he'd found in Gato's bag and smoked it. As they did, Kakashi-sensei descended, followed by a massive number of villages.

"Sakura, Naruto! Are you alright?!" said Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei!" said Naruto, raising a hand. "Hey, how's it going!"

Kakashi stared, and the villagers came up on the very intact bridge and stared as well. "What is... I don't..."

"YOU IDIOTS!" roared Sasuke in a fury. "You left me high and dry to fight off all of Gato's thugs, and now we come here to rescue you, and we find you smoking!"

"What, the Old Man Hokage does it?" said Naruto.

"How... how did you defeat Deidara by yourself?" asked Kakashi.

"Oh, um, it was pretty tough there," said Naruto. "We probably wouldn't have managed it, but then Sakura started making fun of his art. He flew into a rage and started throwing explosions like crazy.

"He got sloppy, though, and once he ran out of ammunition, I created dozens of shadow clones and beat him to a pulp. Then I healed him and tied him up."

And then there was a shout. "Hey, look what we have here! It's Gato!"

In a moment, the villages had surrounded the bound and cowering businessman. They were also pointing crossbows at him. "Let's take him out now."

"No, let's do to him what he did to my son in law," said Tazuna, voice cold.

"Hang on, hang on, we can't kill him," said Naruto, standing up quickly.

"Why not?" asked Tazuna.

"Sasori took control of Gato's gang, and he ran to me begging for protection," said Naruto. "He says that if we let him live, he'll testify as to all his contacts."

"The man doesn't deserve to live," said Tazuna. "He crucified Inari's foster-father."

Naruto shifted. "Alright, that's really terrible. Maybe he does deserve to die. But even if he testifies, he'll be in jail instead of dead. And we could put a lot of other bad guys in jail too.

"His thugs are all gone anyway, so he has no power.

"I think we should let him make up for what he's done, at least a bit."

"Kakashi-sensei..." said Sakura. "This could really help cut down on a lot of crime."

Naruto expected Kakashi-sensei to agree at once. However, he shifted, as if suddenly remembering something. He eyed Tazuna, then Gato, and at the sight of him, Gato's eyes bulged, and he scrambled back. As if he was more afraid of Kakashi than of the villagers.

Why?

"Tazuna, your people are the ones who have suffered the worst because of Gato," said Kakashi. "We're your employees for the moment.

"We'll do whatever you want, here."

Kakashi-sensei was supposed to kill Gato, wasn't he? That was why he was here. But he didn't want to do it in front of them. Maybe Gato had information that could hurt the Leaf?

Tazuna looked to Gato and raised a crossbow. He put it to Gato's forehead, and finally, he stopped. Then he turned to walk away. "...You're not worth the crossbow bolt, Gato.

"The Leaf can have this animal. The Land of Waves will never submit to him, or anyone like him again!"

Something had gone wrong here, even if Kakashi-sensei hid it well.

* * *

A few days later, the Team 7 Bridge was complete.

Apparently, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were being hailed as heroes. They had inspired the Land of Waves to regain their courage and win through. As they walked, leading Deidara and Gato away, Kakashi sent a message to the Leaf. It described everything that had happened in glowing terms, or as close to Kakashi ever got to glowing terms. Kakashi had no doubt now that his students would have very successful careers ahead of them.

In fact, he might just recommend them for the Chunin Exams.

Gato had been silent, and so had Deidara. Gato seemed flat out terrified, but Deidara had been calculating. Kakashi was deadly afraid that Sasori might stage a rescue attempt. But at the days passed, no such attempt happened.

Perhaps the Akatsuki hadn't come after them?

What was he supposed to do here?

His orders were to execute Gato for being a rogue actor who knew too much. But if he did it now, it could crush his student's hopes. They were far more enthusiastic now.

No, no, Kakashi was overthinking things.

"So, um, Kakashi-sensei," said Sakura. "When we bring these two to the Leaf, what happens then?"

Kakashi glanced down at her and decided to use a half-truth. "Well, Sakura, the Leaf generally operates on a need to know basis. Both of these are high-ranking S ranked criminals.

"So, I expect we'll hand them over to the ANBU Black Ops somewhere. And then we'll never hear from them again."

"What does that mean?" asked Naruto.

"It means we don't need to know," said Kakashi. "You've all gone above and beyond my expectations. The Land of Waves is safe, thanks to us. Don't worry about what happens to the criminals, that's for the Hokage to decide."

"...Right, whatever you say, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto.

Naruto had taken the point first. Sakura seemed just to believe him right away. Sasuke, meanwhile, wasn't even paying attention.

This had all gone better than Kakashi could have hoped.

So why did he feel like they were about to fall off a cliff? Something in Kakashi's heart told him that the Akatsuki Rising was only the beginning...


End file.
